His orgasm hits before mine, and it’s not lost on me it’s only the second time that has happened, and both times, he was in a situation not of his choosing. I hate that it will become part of our history; something that should have been special and intimate was stolen from us. By monsters, no less.
He retreats fast, and the warm cum trickles down my legs.
“Get out,” he commands. There’s a pissed-off sneer playing on his lips when I open my eyes, and my legs weaken. Jensen snaps me out of my daze, opening the door, and I move as quick as my legs can carry me with humiliation and devastation at the forefront of my mind.
“You know you have to wait your turn,” I hear him say as I rush for the stairs.
And those words are the harsh reminder I never knew I needed.
It’s almost like our worlds are at war with one another. He’s the fire and I’m the earth burning around him while working tirelessly to maintain it. Heaven and hell attempting to coexist, wanting one another yet different things at the same time. After all, it’s through no faultthat he can only burn, just like it’s not my fault I’m powerless to succumb to the fury of his flames.
His world and mine were never meant to collide; I only hope I can salvage an existence in the aftermath.
Chapter Thirty-Four
Azrael
I take the stairs two at a time. The moment they left the office, I cleared my desk of every item on it.
Her face will haunt me forever, and I fucking deserve it.
Have I become him?
I throw open the bedroom door, and she rushes me, poking me in my chest. “What the hell was that?” she screeches.
My chest heaves at the tears streaking her face; when I expected her to crumble, she proved me wrong.
“Did you do that with other women?”
“Yes,” I say it in a composed manner, although I feel the opposite. “They were familiar with what to expect with me.”
“Did you share them with those men?” she sneers, pointing toward the door.
I drag my hand through my hair. “I imagine they sampled them after, yes.”
“Sampled?” Her blue eyes widen. “They’re not a fucking meal, Azrael! I’m not a meal.”
“You’d be the main course if you were.” I attempt to lighten the mood, but she blinks at me as if stunned.
“Are you planning on sharing me with them?”
How the fuck can she even think it? “Of course not,” I snap back.
“I didn’t want them to see me come. I’m pleased I didn’t.” she whispers, and I have an almighty urge to pull her against me and tell her I didn’t want her to, but I don’t want her to detest me for my selfish reasonings.
“I can’t do that again, Azrael.” She swallows hard, and I know she’s fighting the tears desperate to spill, and fuck, do I deserve them.
“I don’t want you to.” I tug her toward me and wrap my arms around her. “You can cry. I can take it.” I kiss her head, and when she falls, I catch her.
I always will.
Chapter Thirty-Five
Azrael
Her heart beats against mine as we lie in bed, and I twirl a lock of her icy-blonde hair around my finger, wishing I could give her the entire world. “If I could give you anything, what would it be?” I ask, with her head on my chest.
“Freedom.”
