It seems Ever was lying to himself when he said he didn’t care about anything anymore. When I whip my head over my shoulder, I find him striding purposefully after us.
Escalation is the last thing we need. Not outside of church in front of the whole town. I have to broker peace.
“Hey, Barrett!” Ever calls. “Why don’t you let her walk on her own? She’s capable.”
Barry halts midstep and swings around. “Don’t tell me how to treat my fiancée.”
Ever’s eyes jerk to me. “You said yes?”
Though he’s asking me, Ever’s question seems to strike Barry like an arrow to the chest. He drops my arm and thrusts his finger at Ever. The crowd’s moved with us into the parking lot. We’re surrounded by eyes.
“Just because your twisted brain has been obsessed with Ruth Cornier since high school don’t mean you get her.” Barry’s heated. “It just means you’re delusional.”
“Stop,” I beg, stepping between them. “There’s no reason to get in an argument in the church parking lot. Let’s just calm down and go our separate ways.”
“You think you own her, don’t you?” Unlike Barry’s voice, Everett’sis cool, his face an icy mask. “You think the reverend gave her to you as a trophy.”
“He did!” Barry cries. “And it’s my job to take care of her.”
I turn incredulous eyes on him. “No one gave me to anyone.”
Barry flushes redder. “You know what, Duncan?” He waves a hand. “It’s past time we did somethin’ ’bout you.” He starts to turn, then jabs a finger in Ever’s direction. “Iknowyou, motherfucker. You act all high and mighty, but I know what you’re really about. And soon they all will.” He pushes through the crowd. I can only assume he’s heading for my father.
“Ruth.” Ever steps closer to me, his voice lowering. Despite the fact that we’re ringed by spectators, the way he looks at me makes me feel, for a moment, like we’re alone. “Come on.” He says it impatiently, like he’s waiting for me to catch up to something he’s already realized. “You’re choosing the path of least resistance again.”
“The path of leastharm.”
“No.” He shakes his head. “You know what? I think for all your ability to see inside these people, you’re still theirs in the ways that matter.”
Over his head, the great white steeple of Holy Fire Born Again rises like a needle. It’s grown taller and taller over the years, closer and closer to God, and now it towers over us like a watchful eye. Beneath it, the gathered crowd tightens. The wordsmob violenceslither through my mind. “Not here,” I urge. “If you want to talk, let’s go somewhere else.”
Ever shakes his head. “You’re falling at their feet like they want you to. Why? Because you’re so determined to win back your place in Heaven?” He lowers his voice. “Do you really think what we did was so wrong?”
“Shut up,” I hiss. He’s treading on dangerous ground. “Why are you suddenly acting like the rules don’t matter?”
“You think there’s no rules forme?” His laugh is cutting. “Who’s God really, huh, Ruth? Some ghost in the sky, or the men right here on earth who can do anything they want to us?”
“Don’t talk like that.” I give up and resort to Barry’s tactic, gripping Ever by the arm and trying to muscle him away from the crowd. “I know what you think of church, but now’s not the place or the time.”
Ever looks at me like he’s never seen me before. “Do you actually believe it?”
“Believewhat?” All these eyes—it’s like Barry’s proposal, but worse. I’m nearly vibrating at the thought of one of these men catching the details of what Ever’s saying. Their staring’s already violent enough.
“Everything your father preaches. I always thought deep down you didn’t believe it, but maybe I was wrong.” Ever steps closer and taps two fingers against my temple. “Is he in there? Is this his?”
“Enough.” I slap his hand away.
His eyes turn desperate, just like two nights ago, when he came to my house and asked me to leave with him. Why does he keep returning again and again to ask for things I can’t give?
“Sometimes I think I know you better than any creature on earth, Ruth. Better than I know myself.” His voice cracks and I cannot look away. “And then you side with them or refuse to fight for yourself, and I remember you’ve spent your whole life with that man, and I think, maybe she’s a goner like the rest of them, and I just never wanted to see it.”
“I’mnota goner.” My eyes well against my will. Recklessly, self-destructively, Everett came to Holy Fire to pick a fight. And now he’s doing it to me. Interrogating me in front of everyone, making me choose sides.
“You willing to do whatever it takes to get to Heaven?” His eyes burn. “Bend on your knees, wail in the streets?” He clutches my shoulders. “Tell me, Ruth, once and for all. I have to know who you belong to.”
How dare he? The tears threaten to spill. “Youknow”—I choke on the words—“You know better than anyone I need to repent.” Truthfully, he doesn’t know the half of it.
Ever looks at me like I’ve stuck a knife in his gut. “Isthatthe lead weight tied to your feet? Is that why you won’t ever leave—you’re stuck here serving some kind of life sentence? For God’s sake, Ruth, you don’t have to repent like this.”
