She screamed, he told himself.She screamed, and ran. She did not want to go with them. Couldn’t you trust her?
And yet. She had not told him about the tunnel. And she, the lady of the castle, had gone downstairs to meet the enemy soldiers as they came in.
She may have run, but it didn’t mean she was on Niel’s side. He was just missing something. Every time he was around her, he felt so off-balance.
“Well?” he asked her. The word came out sharp, nearly guttural, in an attempt not to beg. “Explain.”
Ayla blinked at him, and he fought the strange urge to reach forward with his bloody hand and wipe the dampness from her cheeks. Niel kept his feet planted shoulder-width where he stood. His hands curled into fists.
“Explain?” she asked quietly. Her gray eyes were wide. He fixed them with his own, willing her not to turn away.
“Why were you in the cellar?”
“I was looking for Isalde.” Her voice was hoarse from crying.
Isalde. The kitchen girl. And didn’t Ayla seem especially close with the kitchen folk? First poison, and now a flood of soldiers thinking they could quietly come inside through the pantry, but she hadscreamed, hadn’t she, and that had to mean something.
She’d sounded terrified. She’dlookedterrified.She was running.
“How convenient,” Niel said. He folded his arms over his chest, tilting his chin up. He wasn’t going to fall for whatever act she pulled. The facts damned her.
“I am not lying,” she insisted, with a sharp shake of her head.
“No?” he asked. “Any other secrets you’d like to tell me about?” His whole body felt hot, like there was lightning crackling through his skin. “A tunnel in the stables? Secret doorways? Messenger birds to the other side? Were youplanningthis?”
“I didn’t…” Ayla whispered.
“And the tunnel yousaiddidn’t exist?” he interrupted, exploding before she could finish. Ayla’s nostrils flared.
“I didn’t know about it,” she said.
A strangled growl of frustration escaped his lips. He could not believe that she, the lady of the castle, didn’t know about the tunnel that led in and out of it.
She was lying to him. So she’d screamed and run; so she hadn’t wanted to go with the soldiers. It didn’t mean she was being honest.
Niel had thought she was just like him. On his side, and done with the man who’d hurt her. He’d been idiotically, pathetically desperate for her to see who Niel truly was, to see he was more than a traitor. He'd meant to take her with him when he left this place. To settle her somewhere safe, and comfortable. Had mentally re-written his war plans around ensuring her future.
And he’d been wrong. He’d been afool. That knowledge seethed in his chest, an anger that burst from him.
“What kind of fucking husband doesn’t tell his wife about the fucking escape tunnel?” Niel bellowed at the top of his lungs. If she would justadmitto it, he could trust her—
He didn’t mean to yell the words.
But he had. He'd yelled, teeth bared, while taking a step towards her like he meant to strike her down. In the small room the sound reverberated, and Ayla stumbled back abruptly, until she hit against the stone wall, palms pressed flat to it and head turning away from him as she curled back in terror. Her breath rasped from her lips as she squeezed her eyes shut.
It was silent in the room, except for her breathing, and his own ragged pant. Niel's heartbeat pounded in his ears.
For a moment he was jerked outside of his own body, to watch as he, blood-soaked and armored, the gore not yet washed off, towered over and yelled at her. Ather, who until days ago, was collecting bruises from her husband. Ather,who had beenprisonerto a man she should have been able to trust.
He stumbled back as shame rose up to replace the anger and desperation. Ayla stayed pressed tight to the wall.
“Perhaps a husband who does not wish his wife to escape,” she said at last, her voice shaking. Like she had only managed to speak when he was no longer looming over her.
“Mercy, I… forgive me,” Niel said, his throat thick. She didn’t answer. “I should not have…” he tried to say. “I wouldnever…”
He took another step from her, and watched her clap a hand to her lips, her eyes welling again. A nauseated feeling overtook him.
Mercy. He sagged, feeling suddenly like his body was made of stone.Stupid Maker-damned idiot, he thought.Is this all it takes to make you snap?
