“If it did, which itwon’t, then yes. I’d tell you.”
“Then I won’t be hurt, if I ask for your hand again and you say you need more time. Because I’ll have no cause to worry, if you haven’t told me you’re through with me.”
“Good,” she said.
“Good,” he agreed. He let go of her hands and unlaced her remaining shoe for her, drawing it from her foot. Niel braced his hands on the sides of the chair’s seat and stood, doubled overher, his lips an inch from hers. “Now, will you come to bed with me? Or would you rather rest?”
She tilted her chin up to his and caught his mouth with her own. Ayla’s hands wound around his neck. Niel crouched, drew her to him, and straightened with her in his arms. The bed was only a few feet away, but he laid her down with great ceremony, removed his own shoes, and climbed on top of her. They removed each other’s clothes slowly, savoring the feel of each other’s bodies under their hands. There was never any need to rush. Not here.
It was simple, and it was good, and there was no paradise he found more tempting than her. Her body was smooth and supple beneath his hands, and she came on his fingers, repeatedly, her body arching up to his as Ayla whimpered into Niel’s lips, small gasps and hitched breaths he studied with hungry devotion. He groaned as he pushed his cock between her legs, her grip on him tight and warm and slick. He rocked into her body, each thrust a bolt of tight, mindless pleasure, and he didn’t care what had happened in the past. They’d left it behind, in the frigid cold of the north. They were here now, and he loved her more than life, and her lips shaped soft cries of pleasure against his neck as his release pulsed inside her.
They had each other again after supper, Ayla riding him this time, and began to drift asleep in a tangle of limbs, the bedsheet damp from his spill. The feeling of a weight pinning him down made him uneasy, even now, especially with the lust ebbing. He gently pulled her off him and to his side instead, keeping her head cradled against his chest.
“Sorry,” Ayla whispered. “Know you don’t…”
“Never apologize,” he murmured back, and breathed in the smell of her hair.
She was still in bed the next morning, even after Niel had exercised as quietly as he could, and washed, and dressed.
“Could we stay here another day?” she murmured when he crawled beside her on the bed to check on her.
“If you like. Are you feeling alright?”
“I’m just tired.”
He considered this for a moment. She’d been tired a lot in the last few days.
“I’ll get a healer,” Niel offered.
“No.” Ayla’s hand settled on his arm. “Never better, truly. I think all this walking is just getting to me. I just want a day in bed. You don’t mind?”
“Of course not, if you’re certain,” he said carefully. It was still hard not to worry, even if she said she was fine.
“Go,” she said, sleepily. “Explore the town. Enjoy yourself. Am I terribly spoiled if I ask you to bring me something good for lunch?”
“No,” Niel said, feeling a little cheered by this invitation to check up on her. “Do you need anything before I go?”
She shook her head no, drowsily, and curled up tighter on the bed. He pressed a kiss to her forehead and left.
He returned at noon to find Ayla out of bed, pacing between the two small windows and worrying her thumbnail.
“Ayla,” he said, and set down the stuffed bread he’d brought her. She turned to face him, her face ashen beneath the light tan she’d acquired from all the hours spent outdoors. “What’s the matter?”
“I haven’t known how to say it,” she whispered.
His stomach sank, and he drew a deep breath.
“It was yesterday, wasn’t it?” Niel asked hoarsely. “Youdon’twant to get married, someday. Or—you aren’t sure you want to be with me, and…”
“No,” Ayla said sharply, nearly scoffing. “Don’t be foolish. It’s not that.”
“Then what?” he asked. She shook her head and buried her face in her hands for a moment. If the problem wasn’t him, it had to be something worse. Maybe she was sick. Or maybe she loved him, but she couldn’t stop missing Enar. “Ayla, you’re frightening me. Just say it. What’s wrong?”
“I might be with child,” she whispered into her hands. “IthinkI’m with child. I’m tired, and I’m weeks late, and my breasts ache. Only, you keep saying how well you like traveling, but the money won’t last forever, and we’ve got nowhere to live, and we barely speak the language, so how are we to sort it all out or speak to a midwife properly or raise a baby on the road, and we’re going to need a second donkey to carry everything or, or a cart, but I don’twantto raise a baby on the road, I want a proper bed and a cradle and a roof when it rains, but I’m scared I’m going to be the one to ruin everything and you won’t be happy like you’ve been.” She scarcely drew a breath as she spilled this out, her voice thin at the end. She gulped air and stared up at him in teary horror.
Niel stared back wide-eyed. He’dheardall of it, distantly, but his brain had tripped over the first mention ofchild, and refused to get up again.
“...Pregnant?” he felt dizzy. He didn’t fully understand how. She had purchased contraceptive tea. At least, they’d thought it was, from the stilted conversation in the herbalist’s shop. The leaves had been ground up, but Ayla had said they smelled right. “You… we’re… what?”
