2014
PROLOGUE
BELLA
Beau looks disappointed in me. I hate that he’s judging me for what I’m about to do. He’s not only my closest friend; he’s also my business partner. I hide nothing from him. He knows it all—all the secrets and lies I hold close to my chest.
His judgment hurts me in a way I never expected, especially as he knew this might happen. He had to, as he would have to run our company without me.
“I don’t think this is a good idea, Bells.”
“There’s no other choice, though, is there?” I don’t care if my reply is a little curt. My heart is hurting. I wish with all my soul there was another way. And because I’m hurting, I’m feeling a little bitchy when I press him. “Is there, Beau? If you have another suggestion, I’ll listen.”
“No,” he replies softly with a sad little smile, “there’s no other choice.”
I can’t stop the tear that trickles down my cheek.
Someone enters the office. We both know who it is. I stand straight and harden my expression, wiping away the evidence of my tears as Sam appears in the doorway.
Beau looks resigned. He gives me one last look, one I can read like an open book—he may not like what I’m about to do, but he’ll be here for me if I need him.
“What’s going on?” Sam asks.
“How much did you hear?” I ask before I break our hearts.
Sam leans against the doorframe. My gut clenches as I drink in every detail of him. He’s gorgeous. God, this is going to hurt so much.
I curl my hands into fists to control their tremble. If I give any indication that something is wrong, he’ll pick up on it.
“Not much. Only that Beau doesn’t think whatever you were discussing is a good idea, and you telling him there’s no choice.”
I tighten my lips to stop myself from blurting everything out. But I made a promise long ago not to bring Sam into it, and I’ll keep that promise no matter what. I’ll do what I have to, but only if my family and Sam are safe.
And if breaking us is the only way to do that, I’ll do it.
So, when Sam asks me what’s going on, why I snuck out of bed this morning, I push it all away, every ounce of love I have for him, burying it deep. I school my expression to cool disdain and outright lie to him.
“I had shit to do, Sam. I didn’t know that the women you slept with had to inform you of their every move.”
I almost cave when he walks closer, bringing with him his unique scent that is all him. My stomach dips as memories assault me—all those times I wanted him and pushed him away for the greater good.
Sam pushes me for an answer, but more cold lies spew from my lips. “I wanted to see if taking my attention away from my business to spend time with you was worth it.” My mouth twists wryly. “Turns out it wasn’t.” I shrug carelessly and clench my hands, my nails biting into my palms as I continue with my lies. “The sex was mediocre at best, and honestly, I don’t have the time or the inclination to show you how to make it better. I’vegot a big project coming up that needs all my attention. It’s best if we end this now before you get hurt.”
Every lie that leaves my lips is like a shard of glass ripping through my heart until I’m a shell of the woman I was this morning. I deserve a fucking Oscar for this performance.
The confusion and devastation on Sam’s face gut me. He grinds out his next words as if he’s in physical pain. And if he’s feeling even an iota of what I am, he probably is.
“Before I get hurt,” he asks in disbelief.
I know that I have to deliver the final blow, even if it kills me to do so. “Yes, before you get hurt. I don’t feel for you what you feel for me, Sam. I never have, which is why I’ve been putting you off for years, hoping you’d get over your infatuation. When you told me what you wanted, I thought, why the hell not? Your blatant desire for me meant I wouldn’t have to work hard. I tried. I honestly tried over the last few weeks, but there’s nothing there. I’m just not that into you.”
My words have their desired effect, but Sam is stubborn.
He pushes one last time. “You enjoyed last night,” he states.
I know he’s trying to make sense of what’s happening. Fuck! I’m trying to make sense of it, and I’m the one breaking us.
But he’s right. I enjoyed myself immensely. I loved every minute of his hands on my body. But if I’d known last night what I know today, I would never have gone there.
