“Well, you didn’t eat one of the oysters,” she says, and I feel a little guilty.
Then, as if on cue, the waiter brings out our entrée. He places down a bowl of pasta for Jaci and a plate of God only knows what in front of me. It appears to be a round mold of raw meat, with a side salad and some fried potatoes.
“Bon appetite,” the waiter says, and I shake my head slightly.
“Um… I don’t wanna sound rude, but what’s going on with my steak? It looks, well, um… not like steak?”
Jaci giggles as the waiter smiles.
“It’s the steak tartare, sir. Raw minced steak mixed with onions, capers, seasonings, and a raw egg yolk. It’s a delicacy, sir. Jaci chose wisely,” he tells me.
I swallow hard. “Raw?” I ask.
He nods along with Jaci.
“As in…completely?”
They both nod, and I exhale as the waiter smiles and walks off. I look at Jaci and pick up my fork, going straight for the fried potatoes.
Looks like I’ll be making a trip to Taco Bell on the way home.
“Are you even going to try it?” she asks with a slight grin.
Shaking my head, I place a potato in my mouth. “I’m brave with most things, Jaci. But raw beef mixed with raw egg? Nope! That’s not one of them. The potato and salad will do me fine,” I reply, and her grin falls to a frown as she picks at her pasta, seemingly disappointed.
There’s finally a lull in the conversation as we eat our meals. A slight awkwardness fills the air, and then a bellowing laugh from Logan filters across the room.
I look over at Alex, who’s face is beaming
At least they’re having a good time.
“Isn’t it weird there’s only one other table in this section? Are they famous, too?” Jaci asks, finally breaking the silence between us.
I figure I can roll with this conversation, so I do. It’s easier than telling the truth. “I’m pretty sure she designs a lot of covers for the music industry and is an upcoming artist. I’ve seen her around a fair bit. I’m almost positive she is quite famous here in LA.”
Jaci turns, glancing at Alex in awe.
I roll my eyes before Jaci looks back at me.
“Wow, two famous people in one room. How exciting!”
I watch the waiter walk away, but Alex’s voice catches my attention as she calls him back. She says something that makes Logan grin, leaning back in his chair like he doesn’t have a care in the world.
Their night seems effortless, smooth—everything mine isn’t.
I shift my focus back to Jaci, but the illusion of the girl I’d connected with through messages is gone. In herplace is someone so caught up in my fame, so far removed from the person I thought she’d be, that I feel nothing but disappointment. She’s not the down-to-earth woman I’d imagined.
My gaze flickers back to Alex. Not because I see her as anything more than a friend—no, it’s not that—but because it’s easy with her. There’s no pretense, no trying too hard. Just us, as we are.
If I’m honest, we could’ve saved each other a world of grief tonight. Alex and I should’ve just gone to dinner together. Not as a date, but because I wouldn’t feel like I’m sitting across from a stranger trying to impress me. With her, I’d be at ease. And right now, ease is what I need.
I stop looking at Alex and glance back at Jaci, who’s eating her lobster and prawn linguini. She really is stunning, even when eating.It’s such a shame.As I study Jaci, I wonder if maybe I should try harder. I mean, out of my ten rules, she ticks a solid eight of them. It’s just nine and ten that I’m not sure of—a sense of humor and, of course, getting along with Nate. The rest are all there or pretty damn close, so like I said, on paper, she’s almost the perfect ten. It’s just in person, she seems to be taking my fame a little toopersonally.
I’m not stupid. I know that comes with who I am, but I realize it may also be just something I have to deal with. So perhaps searching for someone who’s going to accept me for me—without having the Recoil attachment—isn’t a reasonable expectation.
This means I should probably put in more effort and not give up before I’ve honestly given her a chance.
Fuck, I don’t know.
