I hurt her!
I damn-well hurt her.
And I know that.
I just want Alex to feel better.
“Say You Won’t Let Go”begins to play, and I can’t bring myself to strum the chords as I sit here with my eyes shut, trying to hold it together.
“Jesus Christ, you look like your puppy died. Plus, you’re listening to “Say You Won’t Let Go.” Are you going soft?” Ryan asks, making me snap my head up. He’s standing shirtless in the doorway, sucking on a popsicle, dripping in sweat.
Raising my brow, I clear my throat and hit the pause button on the remote. Then I pull my bass over my head as he walks in and takes a seat on the stool next to my amp. “Why are you so sweaty?” I ask.
“Was working out,” he says matter-of-factly.
I glance at the sugary popsicle he’s devouring and grin. “And you spent all that time doing crunches, and now you’re eatingthat? Withyourhealth history?” I ask, and he looks down at the treat, his tongue halfway out, and shrugs.
“Don’t tell, Tillie. I stole it from Lunar’s freezer. It tastes like a Pina Colada.”
“Oh, so it’s sugaryandalcoholic. Jesus, Ryan,” I berate, rolling my eyes.
He chuckles. “It had a two-star health rating on the packet,” he defends.
I chuckle. “Ryan, five is good. Therefore, two is bad.”
He slumps his shoulders and frowns. “Oh, shit… oh well, I did twelve extra sit-ups today. That should cover it, right?”
I chuckle. “Doubtful.”
He takes a long lick up the stick like an adolescent child. “So, enough about me, why are you in here being a Mopey Mandy?”
I scoff. “Am not.”
He snorts and licks his popsicle again. “Dude, you were nearly having an emotional meltdown when I walked in here.”
Sighing, I slump. “How did you know when you’d fucked things up with Tillie?”
He chuckles. “When she threatened to leave. She was packing up and getting the hell out of here because of me. Geez, man… that makes you feel like fucking shit when the woman you love is walking out. Don’t ever let that happen to you, Matt. The panic you feel when you think they’re leaving and not knowing if you’re ever gonna see them again.Fuck.I grew some real man balls in that moment.”
Nodding, I gnaw on my bottom lip. “I don’t think I have to worry about her leaving, but I’m not even sure what I feel for her. How do you know when it crosses from friends to more than that?”
He bumps his shoulder into my leg, seeing as I’m sitting higher than him. “That’s a tough call that only you and Alex can make, man.”
I open my eyes wide and cough. “I never said it was Alex.”
He chuckles. “Don’t have to. She’s the only female friend you have besides Tillie, Lunar, and Ria, and if you’re crushing on any of those girls, you’re in for a whole new world of hurt, my friend.”
“Yeah… I did something stupid,” I admit, and his eyes brighten as he smiles widely.
“Oh, do tell.”
“I slept with her, then told her we’re still friends, and she took it hard. I’m pretty sure she wants something more from me, but I don’t know if she’s the right woman for me. Plus, we were friends, you should never date your friend. That’s like common law or something.”
He snorts, throwing his head back with a giant grin. “That’s so fucking dramatic, Matt. Many friends end up in long-lasting relationships. You have to see if the chemistry is there. Which, with you and Alex, it is from what I’ve seen and heard.”
“What do you mean… from what you’ve heard?” I ask, and he tilts his head while squinting at me.
“You think your brother doesn’t talk about you when you’re not around? Especially when you and his little coworker get along so well. He sees the way you two are with each other. Nate picked up on it months back that you two would end up in the sack together.”
