He nods and moans in acknowledgment. “Ah, yes, the good ol’ parental cock block. Especially after having no sex for two months and listening to Ryan and Tillie, and Danger and Lunar, going at it like fucking rabbits all the time. I’m guessing right now, blue balls don’t begin to describe the feeling?”
I chuckle. “Well, at least I’m not the only one with blue balls, right?”
“Oh no, brother, that’s just you. There are plenty of execs and groupies on the road for me in between stops. Just ’cause it’s not happening on the bus doesn’t mean it’s not happening.”
Groaning, I pluck the spoon from his hand and shovel it full of Ben and Jerry’s. “Goddammit.”
“Maybe she just doesn’t like your ice cream, brother?”
“My ice cream is great… very, very creamy.”
Matt laughs and grabs the spoon back from me. “Full of creamy goodness, hey?”
“Not for lactose intolerants, that’s for sure.”
“Okay, this got officially weird.”
“Yeah, I need sleep or sex… probably both, but I’ll have to survive only on the former tonight.”
“What’s one more day?”
“Exactly.” I squint at him. “Why are you eating ice cream? You only eat that when you’re depressed?” I ask, and he sighs.
“Ah, alas, nothing gets past you, little bro.”
“So youaredepressed?”
He shrugs. “More like feeling nostalgic.”
Raising my brow, I cock my head to the side. “Matt, are you high?”
He laughs. “No, it’s seeing all you guys with women and happy. It’s kinda making me wonder…” He pauses and shakes his head like he’s being stupid and spoons another mouthful of ice cream.
“Matt!”
He swallows and exhales. “Well, it makes me wonder if I should be looking to settle down. You know… find a girl. A nice girl. Not some groupie or some skank, but someone respectable, someone modest, a real lady. You know, classy and elegant, sophisticated and shy.”
“So she’s a shopping list?” I scrub my hand over my head. “Matt, you can’t find a woman with every quality you want. They don’t exist. You’ll be looking forever.”
“Yeah, maybe you’re right. I should give up now. Back to groupies and sluts it is,” he says, shoveling in another spoonful.
I pat his shoulder. “Matt, your girl is out there, and one day, she will appear in your life out of the blue, and it will be the least expected thing ever.”
“Yeah… maybe.”
Suddenly, the doorbell rings, and I glance up, furrowing my brows, wondering if this is some weird sign or just a coincidence.
“You expecting someone?” I ask as Matt places his spoon into the tub and walks toward the door.
“Yeah… needed a pick me up.”
“So you rang dial-a-slut?” I chuckle, and Matt snorts.
“More like hire-a-hippie,” he replies.
I open my eyes wide as he opens the door, and I peer around the corner to see Whisper standing there, smiling obnoxiously wide in his usual monk attire.
“Namaste, you sexy boy! I missed you,” he says, rushing in and hugging Matt tight, swaying him from side to side.
