I spend the next thirty minutes unpacking a few clothes and changing out of the shirt I’ve travelled in all day. By the time I make it downstairs, the table is set and my mom and Marina are talking like they’ve been friends all their lives.
“I could have helped with the table,” I say, but my mom waves me off.
“You’ve had a long journey getting here. You can help another time.”
The flight was long from the UK, then we connected with another flight into Atlanta, and then the drive in the rental car was a little under three hours, which isn’t bad considering the traffic. But it has been a very long day. Driving on the right side of the road was odd for the first hour or so but I got used to it. I took driver’s ed classes in high school, but I didn’t do much driving before I left.
I sit at the table and my mom places a large serving dish in the center. It looks and smells like her famous lasagna. She also adds a bowl of potato wedges and salad.
“Are we expecting more people?” I ask. “There’s enough here for a family of six.”
“It’s nice to have someone to cook for, for a change.” Her voice is strained as she sits, and I reach across the table, catching her hand and giving it a squeeze to say I’m sorry for the remark. She smiles her forgiveness and pulls her hand away, reaching instead for the serving spoon.
“I said you needed feeding up, and for your cheek you can have two servings,” she says, piling my plate high. That won’t be a problem as my mom’s lasagna is delicious.
I tuck in, not realizing how hungry I was. The food on the plane was hardly substantial. Once my initial hunger is sated, I ask mom about a few of her friends that I remember and get the full twenty years of catching up in one go. Some of the people she references are new to me, but I can tell she’s pleased that I asked,and I’m happy to listen to her. There are a few snippets of gossip about people I remember, so it’s entertaining. When she’s run out of steam she turns to Marina and asks her about Mac.
Marina is only too happy to talk, and I can see how proud she is of him, as she should be. She talks of his work as a detective and how important he is. As my mom asks questions, I marvel at how by rights these two women should have hated each other, but instead they’ve bonded over how they were both done wrong by the same man. Well, that and knitting of course. I drift off a little, not really paying attention until Marina mentions Levi.
“To think that if it hadn’t been for him lodging at my house, I might never have got the chance to reconcile with Mac.”
Marina had never disclosed to Mac who his father was, instead letting him believe he was a soldier, a war hero who’d died before he was born. Mac found out it wasn’t the truth when he was eighteen and to say he took it badly was an understatement. It caused a twenty-year rift between him and Marina, which they’ve only just healed. In the process we discovered that we were half brothers.
“But now they’re together, and I’m so pleased for them both,” Marina says.
I watch as my mom stops eating and puts down her fork. Her expression’s unreadable, but I guess that Marina, in the several times she’s talked with my mom, hasn’t mentioned Levi and Mac’s relationship.
“Mac’s gay?” she asks.
“Yes, and Levi’s such a lovely young man, so polite despite the poor start he had,” Marina says brightly. I love how accepting she is of Levi. She’s right of course, he is lovely, but noteveryone can see past his criminal record. I don’t actually know my mom’s stance on sexuality, unlike my father’s, that’s very clear, but I don’t think she’s a homophobe. But of course I’ve never come out to her. That all happened after I left, and on the few occasions we’ve met since, I’ve never been in a relationship at the time so it never came up. My mom’s expression hasn’t changed and I decide it’s now or never.
“Mom?” I say to get her attention and she turns to me. I take a deep breath.
“I’ve never told you this before, but I’m also gay. I didn’t know that while I was here, not until I moved to England, and even then it took me a few years to figure it all out.”
She doesn’t say anything, she just blinks and slowly swings her head between me and Marina. She presses her lips together as if she’s trying to hold something in. My heart sinks. Does she really have a problem with it? My hands become clammy.
“Mom?” My voice is tight, worried what she might say.
She’s still squeezing her lips together, but then she shakes her head and her shoulders start jiggling up and down. I notice the glint in her eyes as the corners of her mouth start to twitch, then she starts laughing. She throws her head back and roars. I glance at Marina and she looks as surprised as me.
“Theresa?” she asks, looking concerned as my mom almost doubles over, still laughing, tears streaming down her face. Whatever reaction I was expecting, it certainly wasn’t this.
“Mom, I don’t think my sexuality is that funny.” I say. It has in fact been a source of much concern for me, and it took a lot of soul searching before I accepted it myself.
“I’m sorry, honey, but I can’t help it.” She dries her eyes and Marina and I share another look at her strange behaviour.
“Niall is going to hate it. For all his philandering, he’s only managed to produce two children, and both of them are gay. He’s not going to be pleased. Can I be the one to tell him?”
“So you’re not upset?”
“No, of course not. If anything, I’m relieved.”
“How come?” I say, prepared to be offended.
“I’ve kind of always wondered if you were. I like to be proved right.”
“Glad I could live up to your motherly instincts,” I say drily, but I can’t really be upset with her.
