“Like what?” He’s still pouting. “You admitting you had your tongue in my ass ten months ago and never bothered to remind me that was a thing that happened?”
“Jesus.” I glance backward at the people in the chair beyond the empty one. Austin’s voice is rising loud enough they might be able to hear us. I don’t recognize them, though. All I can hope is they don’t speak English, or if they do, that they only understandthe basics and will assume they’ve misheard. “You’re the one who randomly told me you were in love with me ten months ago. Keep your voice down.”
“Keep my voice down?” He’s breathing hard again, but the colour is back in his cheeks at least. “Myvoice? Keep my voicedown? After what you just said? You tell me that we f?—”
I lunge for him, slapping a glove over his mouth to smother the words. We don’t need the entire Olympic village hearing our business. Austin struggles against my hold for a minute, but then seems to realize at the exact same moment I do that we’re suddenly very close. It’s like us wrestling in the snow all over again. His breaths puff out of his nose, gusting over my hand, and his eyes sparkle with something like rage. A warning.
Need.
Holy shit. The last time I saw that look on his face, he pushed me down onto the bed and sucked my dick so far back into his throat I could see the entire fabric of the universe for a minute.
Very slowly...so slowly,I pull my hand away from his mouth. His lips are parted and he stays completely frozen in place. He’s like a mannequin forgotten at the back of the warehouse, staring blankly into space. Searching the damaged remnants of his memory for any hint of what I’m saying? Trying to ward off the kind of erection that drains so much blood from the rest of your body that your fingers and toes start to tingle from lack of circulation? It’s certainly what I’m doing right now.
“Well, what the fuck!” he shouts, and the same crow takes flight again, leaving the tree it sought refuge in after my first interruption. “I’ve spent all this time trying to figure out what I did wrong that you’ve been treating me like a parasite the whole time I was in BC, and meanwhile you get to replay a highlight reel of us fucking and?—”
“Would you shut up?” I ask. I know this is a lot. He’s trying to take it all in. But on the off chance anyone on this mountainspeaks English—because at this point they can all hear him—I’d rather this story not get out.
The chair lurches into motion. Great. Austin keeps shaking his head. Maybe in disbelief but also like he’s trying to dislodge something from his ear. See? This is why I asked about his physical condition. How do I know he’s not slowly bleeding from his ears inside his helmet as he tries to come to grips with the revelation that we?—
“I’m sorry,” I say, mostly to get him to look at me, so I know he’s okay. “I should have told you sooner.”
“Yeah,” he says, mouth set in a grim line. “You should have.” But the line gets a little crooked. “Only not too soon. Those first couple weeks are all blurred together. Morphine is amazing, but for a while I thought my dad was my boyfriend and my mom was my high school geography teacher trying to break us up.”
I roll my eyes. “Mrs. Callaghan always was a bitch like that.”
He laughs. It’s an old sound. Familiar. The laugh I’ve known my whole life but haven’t heard since that night in the hotel room, tangled in sweaty, come-scented sheets.
We’re okay. We’re going to be okay.
CHAPTER
SEVENTEEN
When we rejoin the team,we get a few looks from Matthieu and Kage. Raised eyebrows and half-hidden smiles.
“You two speaking again?” Kage asks, laughing when Matthieu jabs him with an elbow.
“So nice of you to come back to your training session,” Ivan growls. “Unless you feel you don’t need it two days before your Olympic debut?”
I go to protest about the delay with the lift, but Ivan’s not really looking for explanations or excuses. Instead, we murmur apologies, promising to behave. And we do our best, though it’s hard to stay focused. Austin knows. He may not remember, but he knows what happened. It’s like the day of the shoot all over again, being so close I can touch him, but not being able to. Or at least not in the way I want. Now that it’s out in the open, I want to climb inside his jacket. Breathe in his scent. Once again drag him off into the woods and see if it’s possible to get through all his layers of clothes to give him the blow job he deserves after everything.
“Berard!” Ivan snaps. “Listen up.”
I start, realizing I’ve been staring at Austin like a lovesick puppy. Kage is smirking. Matthieu rolls his eyes. Even Austin isblushing and clears his throat uncomfortably. I am so not even being subtle at this point. There might as well be hearts tumbling from my eyes and little birdies bringing me flower crowns. Who knew telling the truth would feel this good?
But I square my shoulders and nod, recommitting to paying attention. I have a lifetime to make Austin remember how good it feels to be in love with me. I have forty-eight hours to get my shit together and win a gold medal.
When our practice is over, I practically throw my skis into the gear tent. Well, not really. I’m not an asshole, and the equipment team has enough going on. But I drop them off as fast as I can, then rip my gloves from my hands.
“Come on,” I say, pulling at Austin’s arm as he drops his stuff off too.
“Where? We’ve got physiotherapy.”
“I have a better idea for therapy. Still physical. And a team sport too. It’ll be good for both of us.” I leer. I don’t actually know how to leer, but I think I do an okay job.
He smiles but digs in his heels, which is especially effective in his ski boots.
“But physio.”
