“Dad,” Karter says.
“Yeah.”
“Can I come live with you?”
Oh boy. “You don’t want to live with Papa and Jacob anymore?” I do my best to hide all the nerves swirling in my stomach.
He shrugs boney shoulders. “You’re all by yourself. Are you lonely?”
Is that a cheese string in my throat? “I’m okay. And don’t you think they’d miss you if you lived with me?”
Another shrug. “Papa has Karim.” His gaze hovers on his brother and the other boy. “And Jacob’s going to make new friends at his new school. So then it’s just you and me.”
I thought Brady had ripped my heart out when he’d left my office, but no, it’s still there, and now Karter doesn’t even know how close he is to squashing it to tiny pieces.
“Are you worried about Jacob going to a new school?” When Karter doesn’t say anything, I keep talking. “He’ll still come home every night. He’s not going away.”
Karter’s still staring across the splash pad. “But it won’t be the same.”
I speak slowly, brain racing. “We’ve had a lot of change this year, haven’t we?”
He nods, and his eyes are decidedly watery when he looks up at me. “Can you move back with us?”
I sigh. He hasn’t asked that in a long time. “You know that’s not an option. Papa and I still love you and your brother very much, but we don’t want to be married to each other anymore.”
His lower lip wobbles. “But if Jacob makes new friends, then—”
No one ever tells you how your kids will always know exactly what to say to make you feel about three inches tall. I gather him up into my lap. He has definitely gotten bigger, and we’re an awkward fit, but I don’t care.
“Papa just wants Jacob to have all the help he needs at school.”
“I can help him!” Karter begs. “I helped him at Monopoly. I did it at school before too.”
“You have?”
He bites his lip and snuggles into me.
“Karter, I won’t be mad if you helped him at school.” I’m glad someone was looking out for Jacob, in fact. But it shouldn’t have been his brother’s responsibility.
“Sometimes, when we have to read something out loud, I count the lines, so I know what part he has to read, and then I whisper it to him so he can practice.”
I’m going to start crying, right here in the sunshine on Sugar Beach. “That’s really good. You’re a good brother. A big help.”
“I can help more,” he says. “Please don’t be mad at him.”
Jesus, every word is a knife. “We aren’t mad.”
“But you’re sending him away.”
“We aren’t mad at him, Karter. We haven’t decided—” I almost say we haven’t decided on anything yet, but Dominic is adamant. The more I talk to Karter, though, the more I finally have time to consider it all, and the more wrong Dominic’s plan feels. Maybe he’s already explored all the options, but I can’t believe the trauma of splitting up the boys is going to be outweighed by whatever supports the private school can offer.
I check my phone. Nothing from Brady. I need to talk to him. He offered, and I wasn’t in the right place to listen, but he can help. His dad, that client who does tutoring. Hell, even his own personal experience. There has to be an option for Jacob that doesn’t mean taking him away from his brother. It might take longer to put it all in place, but that doesn’t mean it’s the wrong choice.
The boys allow themselves to be taken back to Markham early. If they aren’t enthusiastic to see Dominic, at least we avoid the tears this time.
“Do you want to stay for dinner?” Dominic says.
I need to talk to him. I’d rather do it now, because then I have to go sky-write an apology to Brady, but the boys are watching me with expectant eyes, and I’d rather not start a fight the second we walk into the house, so I agree to stay.
