Nazzareno had taken a seat on a fountain not far away, and he was staring at me. I couldn’t look away because everything inside of me yearned to fly to him.
“Are you in love with him?” my sister asked softly.
“You know the answer to that,” I whispered.
“I do.” Her touch was tender as she moved a piece of hair from my eye. “I just want to hear you admit it.”
“I am. So in love. It’s hard to breathe sometimes.”
“I can see why. He’s…what’s even a word to describe him except for perfect? Perfect for you. And there’s substance to him. He’s not just a gorgeous face and body. There’s a foundation there. He’s so good with Minnie, too. He’ll be a good dad.”
Of course, my sister would look for that quality in him. She’d always wanted to be a mom, despite what I’d just found out our mom did to us, and she wanted a father to her children who would love them just as much.
“He’s pretty much perfect,” I said.
“Pretty much?” She laughed a little.
“He’s engaged to marry someone else, Luci. It’s common for them to have arranged marriages. I was a dollar short and a day late when I showed up in his life.”
“Common for them? You mean the Fausti family?”
“Yeah. They mostly all marry up, not down.”
“You don’t think you’re good enough for him?”
I broke the connection and turned back to my sister. “I’m not. I’m me. He’s him. We’re worlds apart.”
“That’s bullshit and you know it. Or you should. Money’s not everything, Ava.”
“I know, but in the eyes of his family, our relationship can’t go any further than the darkness.”
“What are you telling me?”
A sigh I couldn’t control slipped past my lips. “I’m telling you he gave his word to marry someone else before I came along. A pasta heiress who will compliment his family. If he breaks his word, a war will break out between him and his family. They have rules…sometimes complicated ones. So…he’ll marry her, give her babies and a life worth envying on the outside.”
“But on the inside?”
I smiled, but it was weak. “He’ll have me.”
“He wants you to be his mistress. Tell me you didn’t agree.”
“I didn’t. I didn’t say anything. But…he’ll break it for me. I know he will.”
She turned her head. “He’s watching you like Lilo watches me.”
“It’s intense between us, Luci.”
“Yeah, love usually is. Or it is for me too.”
We grew quiet. I watched Luci as she watched the man I loved.
“If he breaks his word to his family, and bad things start happening, you’ll feel guilty,” she said. “Something you’re not used to feeling.”
“I know. Everything I’ve always needed is staring me right in the face, but I can’t have him. I’ve done a lot of bad shit to get to what I needed, and then fate’s like,nope, you can’t have him because of it.That’s karma, Luci. And if I do ask him to break his word, something might happen to him…and I couldn’t live with myself, because there’s no living without him now. But…I’m not sure if I can deal with loving him in the dark either. Watching as the world believes one thing, because she’s set on having kids with him, and knowing I’ll never have the same chance. I don’t know if I even want kids, they’re not something Ieverwanted, but he gives me ideas. Ideas I’ve never dared to dream about.”
“Is there someone higher up he can talk to?”
I set my drink down before I spit it all over her. My sister was a trip. “You mean like a manager?”
