Oliver laughed too. “We didn’t make a very good first impression, did we?”
“No.” Nick groaned and rested his head on Oliver’s shoulder. “No, the only way it could have gone worse would have been if he’d found us with your pants around your ankles and your dick in my mouth.”
Oliver pulled Nick tight against him and kissed his throat, letting Nick’s coarse stubble scrape over his lips.
“We’ll figure this out.” Oliver’s throat was tight, and his muscles ached from the tension of not reaching for Nick. But he couldn’t resist when Nick reached for him, when his coarse stubble scraped over Oliver’s lips and Nick’s body moved restlessly against his.
“I wish this weren’t so complicated.” Nick’s grip on him tightened.
“We tried that,” Oliver said.
“I want you.” Nick’s voice was rough in his ear. “I want you so badly. Just to forget, for a bit. We could go back to your place. Take a shower. You on your knees. Me inside you. Oh god, I—”
Oliver cut him off with a kiss, but he maintained control of it the whole time. He knew what Nick wanted; he wanted it too. But it wouldn’t be fair. They’d tried uncomplicated, and it blew up in their faces spectacularly.
I love you.The words were there, on the tip of Oliver’s tongue. They would drain the tension out of Nick’s body, take some of the pain out of his black eyes.
And yet Oliver didn’t say them. Couldn’t find the strength to give that to Nick. Because he’d loved Cooper, and all that was left was this darkened shop. His love wasn’t always enough.
Nick stepped back, clearing his throat. “I have to get to work.”
The moment was over, and Oliver nearly grabbed at Nick’s shirt to find it again. Instead, he said, “Call me on your break.”
Nick smoothed down the front of his pants. “I’ll try. Might not be a good night for that.”
“Yeah. I understand.”
After Nick left, Oliver finished cleaning up. No one showed for the workshop, and honestly, he wasn’t surprised. He turned off the lights, locked up the shop, and drove home.
He almost didn’t see the man on the front porch as he pulled into the driveway. Oliver only spotted him as the dark shape unfolded itself. His heart rocketed to a million in his chest, and his hand was in his pocket to pull out his cellphone. Then the man took a step down, illuminated by the SUV’s headlights, and the air inside the vehicle vanished.
Cooper.
Oliver froze somewhere between dialing the nine and the one.
Cooper waved awkwardly, squinting at the car.
Oliver didn’t remember turning off the ignition, but the car went silent, and he climbed out, unable to tear his eyes off the man in front of his house the whole time. He had to support himself on the cool black of the SUV’s frame because he would have fallen otherwise.
“What are you doing here?” He didn’t recognize his own voice.
“Hey, Ollie,” Cooper said. “What happened to the Porsche?”
“What are you doing here?”
Cooper smiled. “Can we talk?”
The SUV’s automatic lights clicked off, and the driveway descended into darkness.
20
The smart thing would have been to tell Cooper to go fuck himself. Or call Seb, who would have gladly done it over the phone and then come straight to the house to reinforce the message in person.
But Oliver had always been a fool when it came to Cooper, so here he was, unlocking his front door and letting Cooper follow him into the hall.
“I’m sorry to show up uninvited.” Cooper shrugged out of his Hugo Boss jacket and held it awkwardly, like he wasn’t sure what to do with it. Manners told Oliver to take it, hang it up somewhere. Or possibly drop it on the floor. Cooper bought it for his thirty-third birthday. Even though Oliver’s house was pristine, letting it slump to the hardwood would be so satisfying. Instead, he left Cooper to figure it out while Oliver went to the kitchen. He pulled out a glass from the cupboard and filled it at the sink. He very specifically did not get one for Cooper.
Had Cooper always had that swagger to his walk? That confident roll to his hips? His hands were in his pockets as he came through the living room, staring around him, taking in Oliver’s house. “I like what you’ve done with the place. Very minimalist.”
