Their words were all breathless. A little desperate. And now Oliver hoped no one showed up for the workshop, not while two guys made out in the store. Not while they said stupid things, real things, that needed time and privacy.
“It’s a mess,” Nick said into Oliver’s neck.
“I don’t care about the car. What happened with the police?”
“Nothing. I said I was asleep and Hayden had to chase off some kids who were trying to break into the car.”
“I should have stayed.”
“No, you shouldn’t have. Nothing you could have done. It’s over. Just another fuck-up on Hayden’s list.” He shook his head, and it drooped. Oliver lifted his chin and kissed him. Nick’s lips were soft under his, restrained. So many times, they dove right in, letting the need take over. It had always been so easy, and the desire still burned, under the restraint. Oliver could lock the front door, turn off the lights, and drag Nick to the back.
Only one thing stopped him.
I love you.
That needed to be addressed. Nick had been so desperate, so sincere. It hadn’t been the right time, and they’d agreed they didn’t want it from each other. But now—
“Hayden told me he’s gay.”
Time slowed. Oliver was suddenly aware of so many little details around him all at once. The red-yellow-green stoplight of the bottles in the fridge. The hum of the lights overhead. Nick’s unshaven jaw and the tiny silver hairs in his dark scruff Oliver had never noticed before.
“What?”
Nick’s eyes were puffy, and the whites outside his irises were bloodshot. His lips were pinched tight and trembled almost imperceptibly. “My son came out to me.”
“When?”
“Yesterday.”
“What did you do?”
“Nothing. I—” Nick ran a hand over his scalp. “I blanked out for a second. And then he was throwing up. And then Anya came home and—” He buried his hands in his face.
“Did he tell Anya?”
Nick shook his head.
“Did you?”
“No.”
“But you’re telling me.” A sour feeling turned in Oliver’s stomach. This was it. This was the part where Nick said he needed space and time, where he needed to be a father and couldn’t be Oliver’s boyfriend. Not forever, he’d say. But for now. And Oliver would have to let him go because what else could he do?
“I don’t know what to do. He won’t talk to me.”
Oliver blinked back his growing fear. “It’s a big thing.” His own coming out had been a long time ago now, but the memory still made him anxious. The only other time he’d been so terrified of disappointing his dad was the night he announced he’d left the firm. That had been a classic Stevenson family shit show, with Seb as the ringmaster. Coming out, though, he’d done on his own. “He’s scared.”
Nick’s eyes widened. “Of what?”
“You. Himself. All of it.”
“And what do I do? I’ve failed him almost every way I can. What do I do?”
Oliver wanted to hold him. Better, he wanted to take Nick back to his house and hold him all night. But Hayden needed a father more than Oliver needed a boyfriend.
“Do you want me to talk to him?” If he couldn’t have Nick to himself, then he had this to offer. “Maybe having someone not quite so close to the family will sit better with him.”
Nick shook his head and wiped at his face. His laugh was bone-tired and dry. “I don’t think he likes you very much.”
