Brian shrugged. “There are so many risks. Jess gave me some stuff to read. There’s a lot of things we might not know, about history and medical things, with an adopted kid.”
“It’s not like having a biological child would be any more of a sure thing. Look at you and me.”
Brian glared at him. “Thanks, Smarts.”
“No!” Martin sighed. This was difficult, but Brian was obviously hurting. “I mean, we’re pretty different, even though we had the same parents. Nothing’s for sure, no matter how you do it. That’s all I’m saying. And adoption wouldn’t be your only option.”
“Jess looked into all that. A sperm donor—” Brian’s eyes widened. “It was my job, wasn’t it? My job and I couldn’t get it done. Looking at some other man’s eyes in my kid for the rest of my life...I couldn’t do that.”
Martin faltered as he tried to choose his words again, but Brian kept talking.
“Anyway, you can imagine how that conversation went. Jess has always wanted to be a mom, and if I’m not the guy, then she—” He held up the separation agreement again, letting it flutter in the wind.
The photo swam into Martin’s mind’s eye again. Was that why they bought the house? It had always seemed big for the two of them, with an extra bedroom in the back and a finished basement they never put furniture into. The backyard was big enough to play catch, the kitchen table large enough to fit a whole family around. Was that what Brian and Jess had imagined when they had their picture taken?
The house was still there, but Jess, it seemed, was gone.
“That’s a lot of bullshit.” His words surprised him as much as they surprised Brian, if his brother’s face was anything to go by.
“Excuse me?”
“You can’t raise some other man’s kid. That’s bullshit, Brian. I’m sorry for saying it, but if that’s how you feel, then I can see why she left your sorry ass.”
Brian snorted and shoved at him. “You sound funny when you swear.”
“You know you don’t ever have to meet him, right? The sperm donor or whoever. It’s not like he shows up and sleeps with your wife and then you have to invite him for dinner once a year to celebrate the conception of his kid. He’s just a test tube of semen.”
Brian squirmed. “It would still be weird.”
“Do you remember Dad?” Martin asked. “Because I don’t, not really.”
“Sort of. He came a few times, for birthdays and stuff, but he stopped when you were still pretty little. Is this the part where you tell me he was never a real dad, just a sperm donor, and that real dads are the guys who show up day after day?”
“That was going to be my point, yes. I don’t know about you, but I would have loved a real dad. You’re not raising someone else’s kid unless that’s how you want to see it.”
Brian folded the paper and put it back into its envelope. “That’s what Jess told me.”
“She was always my favorite sister-in-law.”
“She’s your only sister-in-law.”
A blue hatchback pulled into the driveway. Seb popped out of the driver’s seat wearing a pair of dark aviators and his leather jacket.
Martin stiffened. It didn’t seem right, giving Brian a pep talk and a pat on the back and then heading off for the weekend.
“Go on.” Brian gave Martin a tight smile. “It’s good to see you like this. Go. I’ll be fine. Nick’s coming by tonight. First round at The Dugout is on him.”
And the second, and the third, no doubt. Martin grabbed his suit and duffle and went down to the car, surprised when Seb came forward to greet him with a quick peck on the cheek. He waved at Brian over Martin’s shoulder.
“You did that on purpose,” Martin said.
Seb smiled broadly in Brian’s direction while he took Martin’s bag. “Just want him to know what we’re up to this weekend.”
* * *
Seb slid into the driver’s seat and pulled the car back onto the road. He’d been looking forward to having Martin to himself since the moment he’d finally kissed him. In the week that followed, he’d flirted outrageously. Martin, predictably, adorably, blushed and stammered, but in small stolen moments at the back of the store turned out to be a decent kisser. They’d only been caught once, by Cass, whose eyes had nearly bugged out of her head before she’d squeaked and hurried away.
It was either his good mood, or possibly the underlying tension from the idea of seeing his family, but Seb didn’t notice Martin had barely spoken—even less than usual—until they were on the highway, leaving Seacroft in the rearview mirror.
