14
The following weekend, Martin pulled his duffle and the hanging bag with the borrowed suit in it out toward the front door. The late October wind rippled around his ankles as he stepped outside. Movement caught his attention, and he turned to find Brian hunched over a sheet of paper. He wore only a gray T-shirt. Martin was cold looking at him.
“Bit late in the season to be out here without a jacket,” he said.
Brian’s mouth twisted into an angry sneer. “Thanks, Smarts. Did they teach that to you in your master’s program, or did you have to get the PhD to figure that out?”
Martin squared his shoulders. Since the night Brian made dinner, things had been better, and Martin wasn’t going to start his weekend with a fight.
“Seb should be here in a minute. Can I get you a coat?”
Brian didn’t say anything. As Martin moved closer, he couldn’t help but read over his brother’s shoulder. The paper was an official-looking document with the words “Separation Agreement” written across the top in block letters.
“Is that from Jess?” Martin slid onto the seat next to Brian, careful not to get too close.
“No, it’s from the president. He wants me out of the country by midnight. Yes, it’s from Jess.” The paper fluttered in his shaking hands.
“That looks serious.”
“I didn’t think she’d actually do it.”
Martin stared beyond the porch to the street in front of the house. When Brian and Jess had bought the place, Brian sent everyone he knew a picture of the two of them, standing proudly next to the SOLD sign on the front lawn. Martin was finishing the second year of his graduate program. He was living in a shoebox apartment and making most of his meals from a hot plate, and his big brother had seemed so settled. Brian and Jess’s beaming smiles looked happy and certain as they got ready to build a life together.
“I know I haven’t been very...” Martin tried to think of the right word, “available since I came here. You’ve done a lot more to support me than I have to support you. But if you ever want to talk about what happened, with you and Jess, I mean, you know I’ll listen.”
He didn’t expect Brian to say anything. He was all set to go get his brother a coat before Seb’s car pulled in, when Brian said, “I can’t have kids.”
“What?”
Brian’s eyes were red-rimmed when he turned. “I can’t.I’m shooting blanks.”
Martin tried to piece this together. “How long have you known?”
“Over a year.”
“And Jess knows?”
Brian’s smile twisted again. “She knows. We both knew there was a problem. We tried for a long time. But my...er...equipment always seemed to be working right, so when she finally convinced me we should see a doctor, I assumed the problem would be with her.”
“And it’s not?” Was that too personal a question? Should Jess be here to tell him about this?
“Nope. The doctor said she wasn’t getting any younger, but with viable sperm there was no reason to think she wouldn’t be able to...You know.”
Martin leaned back in his chair. The timing was terrible. His brother was finally talking to him, and he was about to leave for the weekend.
“Well, there are lots of ways to make that work, right? You can’t be the only ones who have trouble withthis kind of thing.” Martin had certainly never planned to find a nice woman and make a bunch of kids, but he’d still like to be a father someday. “I mean, there’s adoption, or you could find a sperm donor. Some of it’s expensive, I think, but if it’s really important to you...”
Brian shook his head. “We looked at that. All of it. I told her I couldn’t do it.”
“Do what?”
“Raise another man’s kid.”
This was so much more complicated than Martin had expected when he’d come out onto the porch. “And you told Jess that?”
“It didn’t seem right, you know? I mean, if we adopted some kid, who knows what could happen?”
“What do you mean? “
