Noah, did you know your name meant comfort? I named you something I never had before, because deep down, I knew that’s what you would bring me. My third born but my first child born out of love.”
I swallowed hard. Jo’s voice was cracking already. She took a deep breath before continuing.
Your father and I may not have made the family work but you, baby, you were made from love. We talked and you know why I turned to drugs, why I lived how I lived. It ain’t no excuse, but it was my escape.
She paused. Closed her eyes.
A lot was taken from me early on. And instead of ending the cycle, I repeated it. That’s the lessonI’m learning in this season of my life. I’ve forgiven myself. I just hope one day you can do the same.
Tears rolled down her cheeks, and she didn’t even wipe them this time. Just kept reading.
No rush. It took me years to get here, so I don’t expect you to do it in minutes or days. Take your time, son. But I want to heal. I want to grow. I get it now what Stormi meant when she said she’s living in her ‘soft girl era.’ That she needs her peace.
She looked at me, her eyes begging me to really hear this next part.
Noah, you’re more than what I raised you to be. Anything you want, you can have it. Your dreams, your goals, your joy they’re all waiting for you. And so am I. This time, I want to show up. Clean and healthy.
My throat tightened. My grip on the wheel loosened just slightly.
You saw too much, baby. For such young eyes you carried too much in that heart of yours. I’m sorry.For the late nights. For the early mornings. For the pain I never meant for you to inherit.
She was weeping now, but her voice didn’t break. She kept going.
I pray we grow together that we grow within each other. I want to see you happy, baby. Just like your sister. Mama Jo might not have been the best mom but Grandma Jo… She’s ready. For a house full of grandkids, laughter, and love. I promise to heal my kids one wound at a time until we’re living like those Black families you see on TV. The happy ones. Not the reality show mess but the real ones. I love you, baby boy.
She folded the paper with trembling fingers and handed it to me without a word. Her eyes stayed on mine, full of tears, full of regret, but also full of hope. I reached out and wiped her face as more tears spilled and she let me.
“I love you, Jo,” I said, voice low but fierce. “Ain’t nobody gonna hurt you again. Not ever.”
She blinked, trying to believe me. And maybe for the first time in years, I meant it. I jerked the wheel suddenly, making a sharp U-turn in the middle of the street.
Jo gasped, holding onto the dash. “Noah?”
I didn’t answer. I wasn’t headed home anymore. I wasn’t about to let that letter be the end of it. That man, the first man who broke my mother was still breathing. Still walking around like he ain’t leave scars so deep they shaped the way I walked through the world.
Nah. It wasn’t time to sleep the night away like we ain’t have demons living minutes away in our same city. It was time to face them. For Jo. For me. For every wound we never asked to carry.
“Where you going, Noah?” Jo asked, her voice shaky, eyes bouncing between the road and me.
I didn’t even glance her way.
“I got something to take care of,” I muttered, jaw tight as I pressed my foot harder on the gas.
We were flying cutting through traffic like the world owed me space.
“Noah,” she said louder, fear creeping in now. “Please slow down. You doin’ a hundred. Don’t give these crackers a reason!”
But I couldn’t slow down. Not now. My hands gripped the wheel like I was holding onto something I might lose forever if I let up. And honestly… Maybe I was. We turned the corner and I cut the headlights before I eased into Leon’s driveway like I’d done seven nights in a row now. I knew his routine better than his own shadow at this point.
Old bastard moved like he ain’t destroyed lives. Like he ain’t violate a child.
Like Jo wasn’t fourteen when he first touched her. Stormi and Jo sat me down months ago and told me everything. Their voices cracked. Their faces stayed dry, but their hands were shaking.And me, I threw up the whole meal I just ate. I had smoked every day since, tryna keep my head from exploding. Blunts back-to-back. Pain numbed just enough to keep me walking.Just like Jo. We weren’t that different. That’s why I never judged her, I understood her.
Drugs gave us both something the world couldn’t: an escape. A break from the demons. But tonight, I was sober as hell. Because I couldn’t get to Dre for what he did to Stormi, Seth had that war handled. But Leon. Leon was mine.
“Who house is this?” Jo asked, eyes darting as she finally caught on.
“Leon’s,” I said, voice hollow as I reached for the gun tucked in my waistband.
