I look at Elly and my breath gets stuck in my throat. Knowing I have to find a way to get her out of here as soon as possible has a lump as big as my fist in my throat. The burn behind my sternum as I look at the fearful anticipation in those beautiful amber eyes makes me rub my chest with my fist. “I’m going to call around and check on the roads to see if we can get you back to your hotel room as soon as possible.”
The smile she walked onto the ranch with is back, the one that doesn’t really reach her eyes, and she nods. “Sure, that would be best.” She looks around the room and her gaze stops on the forgotten crystal figurine. “Excuse me.”
Her eyes slide over me as she walks past me through thedoor, the slight lingering smell of peaches hands in the air around me and I swallow around the lump. Within seconds, I hear her feet on the stairs.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
ELLY
THE ROOMis cast in silver from the glow of the full moon through the window, and the sky is so clear that the backdrop of stars is a beautiful show of twinkling lights. I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many stars.
Surely the clear sky means we will get some sun tomorrow. Even though I know its best for me to leave, especially since Lainey Rai knows why I’m here, the giant lump in my throat and sting behind my eyes won’t go away.
After the exchange in the kitchen earlier today, I came up to Breanna’s room and changed into a pair of flannel sleep pants, a t-shirt and a very soft sweater that was folded up in the dresser, and I didn’t go back down for dinner. I don’t belong at their dinner table.
After seeing the look on that little girl’s face, I realized what a monster I must be to everyone in this house. As Kinleysaid, I’m just a vulture out to take their home. When I heard her say that, it felt like a knife being plunged into my chest.
The past few days, I have been stupidly surfing on the wave of a dream I’ve always thought was out of my reach. I let myself get lost in the warm glow of this family and forgot who I am.
To be able to exist in a life like this, one has to be born into it. I wasn’t born into anything like this, my life has always been to each their own and hoping the odds are in my favor. A life of loneliness and eating over the kitchen sink.
I didn’t bother lighting the lantern, the moon is so bright that I just pulled the throw off the end of the bed and sat on the window seat to watch the ice sparkle over the never-ending landscape before me. It’s quite pretty.
Since the two upstairs fireplaces are on the landings on each end of the house with the bedrooms between, I’ve kept the door open to let the warmth in, but the tap on the door is making me regret keeping it open. I turn to see Marley standing in the door frame with a tray of food.
“I thought you might be hungry, so I made you a plate.” Everything about her is soft and gentle, her voice, the way she walks, her smile, and the energy that reaches out and wraps me in a hug every time she is near.
She walks to the bedside table to set the tray down, and then moves around the bed to get closer to me. I smile at her as I pull my knees up to my chest to make room for her to sit down, but the knot in my throat that lodged itself in place after I removed my rose-colored glasses is making it hard to talk. I clear my throat. “Thank you, my stomach just started growling in protest of missing dinner not long ago.”
Looking out the window, she sighs before she sits on the edge of the window seat. “It’s pretty, isn’t it?” Her blue eyes sparkle as she looks out over the trees.
Sensing she wants to say something, I nod and wait.
Shifting her gaze to me, she puts her hand on my foot and says, “I want to apologize for Kinley, her filter has always been a little loose. I blame it on being raised around all this testosterone.”
“Oh, she didn’t say anything that isn’t true. I just hate that Lainey Rai overheard, it’s the worst feeling in the world to be thought of as a monster by someone so innocent.”
Looking back out the window, she sighs. “She’s also one of the most forgiving people I know.” Turning her head back in my direction, she smiles. “She’s not one to hold a grudge.”
At the same time relief loosens the guilt in my chest, my heart drops into my stomach at the realization I’ll be leaving soon. “I’ll just have to take your word for it.”
Clearing her throat, she waits a few moments before she says, “Mason sent a text and said he’s supposed to be back tomorrow sometime, do you think you could sit down with him, Dad, and Gray to tell them what you told me?”
Just how close I am to upending my life is flashing in my mind like warning lights and my heart is fluttering in my chest. I’m just a few steps away from the point of no return and fear is sending up red flags left and right, making me question the path I’m about to take.
“Wow, so soon? I thought for sure he would be gone longer than a few days.” Especially after overhearing Mason and Jax talking about being helo’ed in and dropped, then I heard the words clicks and exfil. I don’t know what all that means, but it sounded time consuming.
Linking my fingers, I pull them up under my chin. To anyone else, it might appear I’m cold and just trying to warm my fingers, but the unease I feel at the lonely road ahead of me is making me want to rearrange and clean the entire room from top to bottom.
I know that helping these people, helping Gray, is the right thing to do. It’s what I want to do. But, damn it, why do Ifeel terrified and alone?
“In and out, that’s what he always tells me. I imagine part of it is wanting to get back to Sloane.” She pauses and asks again, “Will you? Talk to them tomorrow?”
I nod. “Yes, of course.”
Her smile lights up her entire face. “Thank you.”
We both turn our heads toward light tapping on the door. Gray is standing there, and my heart skips a beat as I think of how handsome he is. He’s switched the round brim of his cowboy hat for his tattered ball cap that’s turned around backwards.
