Lucas didn’t want to say it, but he needed toend this conversation.“Of all people, you and your family shouldknow that bad things happen when I lose control.”
It shut the priest up, at least, and Lucaswas able to edge sideways and circle around to the door.“I’ll dothe feeding later.If you want to help with the fence, we can dothat now.”
Father Mark didn’t follow right away butLucas didn’t look back.He normally turned around and went down thesteep stairs like a ladder but this time he went frontward.When hestepped on some loose hay halfway down he lost his balance and lethimself fall, turning the motion into a jump and stumbling only alittle when he jarred onto the concrete.He was halfway to the barndoor when he finally glanced over his shoulder and saw FatherMark’s legs climbing carefully down the stairs.Apparently thepriest wasn’t going to be easily discouraged.
Lucas wasn’t sure how to feel about that.Well, he knew exactly how he felt.He was relieved.He’d donesomething really stupid, something that could have cost him one ofthe only friends he had, but it seemed like he was going to getaway with it.But the relief only went so deep before it ran into awhole new worry.Lucas was getting too attached to this man, andthat was dangerous.Considering who they both were, their brutalconnection in the past, there was no way they could stay friendsforever.And by the time Lucas made his next stupid move, didwhatever it was that would finally drive Father Mark away, Lucasmight have grown even more attached.
For his own sanity, he needed to keep hisdistance.But he was too weak to do what he knew he had to, andwhen Father Mark eased in beside him and stood, waiting, Lucaswelcomed the company.“Alex says fencing sucks,” Lucas saidconversationally.
“He says that about every job out here,doesn’t he?”
“He likes doing the feeding.If it was up tohim, we’d have a bunch of really fat animals eating out of dirtyfeeders, standing around knee-deep in shit, or wandering offthrough the broken fences.”
“Good thing you’re here, then,” Father Marksaid quietly.
Lucas supposed it was.He’d found a way to beuseful.He looked over at the man walking next to him as theyheaded for the equipment shed.He was helpful on the farm, and he’dhelped Father Mark the night before.And he had one more way to behelpful, he was pretty sure.A way to make sure that even after thepriest had moved on and gone back to his usual life, he’d still besafe.It was going to mean one more violation of the rules of hisparole, one more chance of being ripped out of this little life hewas trying to make for himself.He glanced over at the priestagain, and this time Mark caught his look and raised a quizzicaleyebrow.
“Grab those wire cutters,” Lucas said, andMark turned his attention to the tool, giving Lucas a little moretime to watch his earnest, kind face.It was all he needed.Takinga chance to help Mark be safe?It was absolutely something Lucaswanted to do, no matter what the consequences were for himself.
ChapterThirty-Six
Mark refused to park his car closer to theapartment building.It wouldn’t have done any good the nightbefore, he reasoned.The alley where the men had been hiding wasright beside his building, not down the street where he’d parked.And there were elderly people in the building.He wouldn’t let hisfear get in the way of showing those people basic courtesy andrespect.Still, since the attack he’d made sure to leave thehospital in time to be home before dark, and even in the daylighthe was keeping a close eye on his surroundings, looking out fortrouble.
He hadn’t pressed Lucas to identify theattackers.Maybe he should have, for Lucas’s sake as well as hisown, but it hadn’t seemed right.Lucas had his reasons for secrecy,and he’d already helped Mark enough.When he’d had time to thinkabout it, Mark had been pretty sure that he’d recognized two of thegoons as the men who’d accompanied Lucas’s friend when he’d come tothe halfway house.So there was some sort of social connection,although Mark was pretty sure Lucas wasn’t spending time with anyof those people anymore.But Mark had worked with enough peoplefrom rough backgrounds to know that loyalty was considered acardinal virtue.It might seem like a remnant of the schoolyard toMark, but to Lucas it might be absolutely vital that he not betrayan old acquaintance.
So Mark hadn’t pushed, and now he was safelybehind the glass door of his apartment building and heading up thestairs.He felt stupid for being nervous, and then someone moved onthe stairs above the landing and he suddenly felt stupid for nothaving been more paranoid.
“It’s me,” Lucas said quietly, stepping outinto view.“Sorry.I didn’t mean to scare you.”
Mark forced himself to take a deep breathbefore saying, “Lucas.Hi.What are you doing here?”Did that soundchurlish?“Would you like to come in?”Mark was suddenly hyperawareof what had happened the last time he’d brought Lucas into hisapartment.He was surprised by how exciting it was to think aboutthe same thing happening again.Maybe going further this time…
But Lucas was shaking his head.“You shouldget your neighbors to be a bit more careful.One of them let me indownstairs, and two others walked right by me when I was sitting onthe stairs and they didn’t say a thing.I could have been here tohurt you.”
Mark nodded.“I used to like it,” headmitted.“I felt like it was small-town charm, everyone trustingeach other.”
“It wouldn’t be so charming if someone forcedtheir way into your apartment and kept you from making noise,”Lucas said sternly.“They could do some serious damage to you, andthey could take their time.Not like out on the streets where theyknow someone’s going to see them and call the cops.”
Mark felt the excited stirrings in his gutchurn into a much less pleasant sensation.“Is that the sort ofthing they might do?The people from last night?”
Lucas squinted at Mark.“I don’t think so,”he finally said.“They’re assholes, but they’re not totally psycho.I don’t think.”He shrugged.“But I think I’ve got that taken careof anyway.I was going to just do it and not tell you about it,but…” He grinned quickly, almost proudly.“I think you might wantto be part of it.Well, I think you might want to see it.And hearit.”He raised an imperious eyebrow.“But not be part of it.Youneed to stay out of the way, really.”
“Lucas, I have no idea what you’re talkingabout.”
Lucas nodded, unconcerned, then glanced downat his watch.“You’re just in time to find out.Five more minutesand I was going to have to leave without you.”He started for thestairs down, then caught himself.“If you want to come.I mean, youdon’t have to.I just thought you might want to.”
“But you won’t tell me what it is?”Mark hadto admit that the mystery was intriguing.And now that he was beingtested, he found that he truly trusted Lucas, not only hisintentions but also his good judgment.So instead of waiting for ananswer he stepped forward.“Okay.I like surprises.”
Lucas looked pleased, then nervous.“I hopeit works.If it starts to go bad, you need to book it out of there,okay?”He’d gone down a few steps but now he stopped and turned tocatch Mark’s elbow and hold it firm.“I mean it.Not like lastnight.I mean, I appreciate it that you didn’t leave me to get beatup.I didn’t expect that, and I haven’t thanked you for it.Sothank you.For last night.But tonight, you need to get out ofthere if it goes bad.”
Mark was beginning to regret his decision.“What are we getting into, here?Is this a good idea?”
Lucas started walking again, and he didn’tanswer until they were out of the building and heading down thesidewalk.“I think it’s a good idea.The cops…they can’t do a lot.I mean, they could press charges, but they’d have to let the guysout on bail before court, and the guys would just be more pissedbecause of the charges, and…” He shrugged.“The system works prettywell for people with something to lose.You know?Reputations andnice families and houses and cars and shit.Those people won’tbreak the rules because if they did, they’d lose their nice stuff.But other people?All they have to lose is their freedom, and ittakes months for the courts to make that happen.They can do a lotof damage in months.”
Mark had spent considerable time helping outat a women’s shelter.He’d seen the effects of men ignoringrestraining orders and terrorizing their victims with seemingimpunity.It was strange to think of himself as a victim instead ofa helper, but he couldn’t deny the facts.He’d somehow stumbledinto a world where the rules he was used to didn’t apply, and itwas a world where Lucas was a native.He’d apparently appointedhimself as Mark’s guide and protector, and Mark couldn’t makehimself turn down the offer of assistance.
So he walked beside Lucas as the sun set,leaving the neighborhood that had always felt so safe and headingfor a much rougher part of town.It was only a few blocks away butit might as well have been a different country.The buildingmaterials shifted from stone and brick to vinyl and aluminumsiding, and the cars parked by the curb changed from newish importsto older domestics.There were more TVs blaring at higher volumeinto the summer evening.And then, gathered on the road abouthalf-way down the block, there were men.Twenty or thirty of them,standing silently by their cars, waiting.
Mark slowed his pace but Lucas seemed almosttriumphant.“They came,” he said.He glanced over and saw Mark’sexpression.“Come on,” he urged.“You’ll know them when you getcloser.”
