She gave him a look that was hard to read,then pushed the barn door open.They stepped into the dark interiorand paused.The air was pungent.It didn’t smell bad, exactly, justunfamiliar and richly organic.Then Elise flipped the light switchon and Lucas stopped thinking about the smell.
The brightly lit barn was full of creatures,like Noah’s Ark with a slightly less efficient counting system.Oneside of the space seemed to be for larger animals—a few deer and asway-backed horse shared a pen, and there was something shufflingaround in the enclosure next to them that looked a lot like aporcupine.The middle section was lined with wire cages largeenough for a person to stand in, and Lucas could see a raccoon inthe closest one.On the far wall a screened-in aviary extended theentire length of the barn, with a handful of small birds perchedand watching the visitors and something larger, maybe a wildturkey, huddled in the corner.
“Normally they’d be outside by now.I keptthem in so you could see how we do things.You should come earliertomorrow.We need to keep them in at night because of predators,but the more time they spend outside, the better.Get here atdawn.”She gave him a moment to object, then said, “This is thefeed room, over here.Everyone in this barn is an herbivore or anomnivore.It’s easier for them to recover if they aren’t smelling apredator in the cage next door.”
“But you keep carnivores too?”
“In the outbuildings.”There was a certainsatisfaction in her voice as she said, “The predators are myfavorites.”A pause, then, “But we’ll start you in here.It’s a bitsafer.”
“That porcupine doesn’t look too safe.”
“He’s not for petting.And watch his hindleg—he got hit by a car, and it’s broken.”
“Somebody carried an injured porcupine inhere to get help?”
“Somebody called me after seeing him by theside of the road, and I carried him in.He was in bad shape when Igot there, so it wasn’t too tricky.Could be interesting gettinghim back out when he’s healthy, though.”She sounded like she waslooking forward to the excitement.
The rest of the tour was conducted in asimilar style.Elise was never friendly, exactly, but she had aclear enthusiasm for her work and compassion for the animals in hercare, and Lucas found himself feeling almost hopeful for the firsttime in a very long time.Maybe there was a place for him here.Maybe Father Groban hadn’t been crazy with his talk about finding ajob that was rewarding, doing work that really meant something.Maybe Lucas could have that.Maybe he could find a way tocontribute, and to start earning his way back into society.
An hour or so later he was crouched on thegravel driveway scrubbing water buckets, his fingers numb from thecold well water, when he heard Elise call his name.
He looked up to see her walking toward himwith a dark-haired teenage boy.The kid was wearing a pair ofoveralls with no shirt underneath.It wasn’t clear whether theoutfit was meant to be a parody of a stereotypical hillbilly orwhether the kid was sincere.
Elise didn’t seem to care.“Alex, this isLucas.He’s maybe going to be working here.”She looked around atthe clean buckets drying in the sun and nodded grudgingly beforeturning back to Alex.“Not too much more to do with these.Help himfinish up and then throw down some hay.Then show him how tomeasure the feed for the barn animals.And don’t teach him yourtricks—no special treats.Follow the list.”
Alex grinned at her, then leaned around andgrabbed one of the dirty buckets.“I hate this part of the job,” hesaid quietly to Lucas.“I’m glad you’re almost done!”
“It’s not bad today,” Lucas said, “But I betit’s rough in the winter.”
“In the winter, she lets you use warm water!It’s actually better, because it thaws out your hands.”They workedin silence for a while as Elise headed off to whatever tasks werekeeping her busy, and then Alex said, “So, you’re doing this as,like, a job?For good?”
“I don’t know.Maybe.”Lucas let the“hopefully” go unsaid.No point in exposing himself to this kid, asnice as he seemed.
“You totally should.”Alex sounded as if hethought the choice was Lucas’s.“I guess it might not pay much, butit’s a great spot.Elise is crusty, but she’s a softy underneath itall.”He rinsed the last bucket and placed it in the row.“I’m in ayouth group.It’s kind of with a church, but it’s not reallychurch-y, you know?Anyway, I’m trying to get Elise to let us havean end-of-school barbeque out here.I want everyone else to see howcool it is.And she’s going to let me, I’m pretty sure.She’llbitch about it, but she’ll go along in the end.”
Apparently Alex liked to chat, and Lucasdidn’t object.But he didn’t have a whole lot to contribute,either.Still, Alex probably only needed a few prompts to keepgoing.“Father Groban’s church?”Lucas put his own clean bucket inthe row and stood, stretching his creaking back.
Alex nodded.“His church.But he’s not thepriest for the youth group.Another guy’s in charge of that.He’spretty cool, really.Father Webber.Do you know him?”
Three years of prison had perfected Lucas’salready solid abilities to keep his emotions from showing on hisface.So he was pretty sure Alex didn’t notice his reaction.“Notreally,” he said after a brief moment.Then, because he needed tohave as much warning as possible, he casually asked, “Does he comeout here to check on you?”
“He did once.But he’s not even working rightnow.Some family emergency.”Alex shrugged as if family emergencieswere a sad fact of life, then started toward the barn.“Come on.I’ll show you how to do the hay.It sucks, too, but in a totallydifferent way than washing the water buckets.”
Lucas followed obediently and tried tomarshal his racing thoughts.The priest had only been out to thefarm once.It didn’t mean anything.It wasn’t the end.Not forsure.This could still work out.It was an unpleasant reminder ofthe past, but that was good, because it was what Lucas deserved.Hehad been starting to forget.
He’d been thinking about a future forhimself, and forgetting about the man whose future he’d takenaway.
ChapterTwenty
Mark hated being off work, especially withouthaving had a chance to prepare for it.He wasn’t irreplaceable, hereminded himself.It was arrogant to think that no one else coulddo what he did.But the most important part of his job was thecounseling he gave to parishioners, and he’d had to work hard tobuild relationships with them.Sure, someone else could have doneit, but no one else had, so now those vulnerable people were leftwith no one they trusted to speak to.
He felt almost guilty now, as he snuck inthrough the back door of the church.His mother thought he wasgoing home to sleep, and he would soon.But first he needed to seea few people.People who needed him.People who he could actuallyhelp, instead of just sitting uselessly by their bedside andwatching them struggle.
“Mark.”Terry’s voice was as gentle as ever,and he sounded almost amused as he peered into the hallway from thedoorway of his office.“I was wondering how long you’d be able tostay away.”
“The youth group—” Mark started, but hestopped when Terry nodded understandingly.
“As long as you’re not spreading yourself toothin.”The older man stepped into the narrow hall.“How’s yourfather?Your mother?”
