“There’s roast beef, and those littleYorkshire puddings that you like!”Mrs.Gage had looked the samesince Lucas had first met her when he and Sean had been in secondgrade.Pale, tired, with too much skin sagging over too much fat,but always ready with a warm smile for all of her boys, whetherhers by birth or only by affection.“And mashed potatoes with sourcream and chives, and biscuits, and—”
“Mom, are these Luke’s favorites or yours?”Sean asked, and the sound of Mrs.Gage’s hand smacking the back ofher son’s head was as much a sign of being home as any of the foodon the table.
Sean grinned ruefully and took his place atthe head of the table while Luke sat next to Stacey, across fromCorey and Tina.Mrs.Gage flopped into her own seat and beamed ateveryone.“Grace tonight,” she said just as Sean reached for aserving bowl.“We have a lot to be thankful for.”
Nobody argued.It had been a long time sinceLuke had held anyone’s hand, let alone a girl’s, but he let Staceywrap her fingers around his and reached out to find Mrs.Gage’sgrip as well.
He lowered his head as Mrs.Gage said, “DearLord, thank you for your many blessings.This home, this food, andall the love in our family.Thank you especially for returningLucas to us, safe and sound.It’s been a tough few years, Lord, butwe’ve made it through, and now we just want everything to get backto normal.”She paused for only a moment before adding, “But itwould be great if you could send work for Stacey, something betterthan part time at the grocery store.I don’t have to tell you whata hard worker she is.And Sean could use something a bit morereliable too.Seventy hours one week and twenty the next, Lord?That is no way for him to learn how to settle down.Please letCorey pass math even if Mr.Michaels is a total bastard whocouldn’t teach the Pope to pray, and Tina…” Lucas glanced up andsaw Mrs.Gage squinting critically at her youngest child.“Tina’sdoing okay right now, Lord, but she’s turning into a bit of aflirt.Please help her to get through high school without adisaster, if you know what I mean.Which, of course, you do.”Shepaused again, obviously making sure she hadn’t missed anything.Maybe she was going to mention that Lucas needed a haircut, as shehad the second he walked in the door, but apparently she decided hecould take care of that without divine intervention.“So, Amen,”she declared, and the rest of the table echoed her sentiment.
“You’re going to be working with Sean,right?”Tina asked Lucas as they all started heaping food ontotheir plates.She’d been a little kid when he’d gone away, but nowshe was a gangly teenager, with braces and giggles and low-cutshirts.She’d been shy for about two minutes when he’d firstarrived but had gotten over it pretty quickly.“Roofing with UncleDave?”She wrinkled her nose in distaste.“Are you going to likethat?”
Lucas shrugged.It was the same job he’d hadbefore.Back then, his work day had consisted mostly of showing uplate and hung over, getting yelled at, and trying to shirk as muchwork as possible until they were allowed to go home.Lucas hadbetter intentions this time around, but he wasn’t quite sure whatthe job would be like if he were actually trying to do it properly.“It’ll be fine, I guess,” he managed.
“It’ll suck,” Sean promised.“But we’ll getgood tans this summer, and it’s a killer workout.”He grinnedwolfishly.“You’ve been away for a long time, Lucas.I bet I knowwhat you missed the most.We can take the edge off tonight, butyou’ve probably got lots to get out of your system, right?”
“Tonight?I’ve got a nine o’clock curfew.”Better to use that as an excuse than to get into any deeperdiscussions.
But Sean was not so easily persuaded.“Mom’llcover for you.For tonight, right Mom?His first day back?”
“No, Mrs.Gage, you don’t have to,” Lucassaid quickly.“I wouldn’t ask that.I don’t expect you to putyourself out for me any more than you already have.”
But Sean just ignored Lucas.“Nine o’clock,Mom?Half the town’s lining up to welcome him back.He won’t evenhave said ‘hi’ to everyone by nine o’clock.”
“Half the town wants to welcome him back,”Mrs.Gage said seriously.She gave her son a stern look.“And theother half is angry that he’s out so soon.They’ll be watching him,looking for anything they could report to get him in trouble.”Shesmiled sadly at Lucas.“You need to be careful, Lukey.You need tofollow the rules.If it was just me, of course you could stay out abit later and visit with all your friends.But it’s not justme.”
“I understand,” Lucas said.He tried to hidehis relief.“Absolutely.No problem.”
“It’s bullshit,” Sean objected.“What’s thepoint of being out of jail if you can’t do what you want to?”
“I got out early.It’s conditional.”Lucaslooked at his old friend and tried to convey the full meaning ofthe words as he said, “I’m not going back, Sean.Not ever.I’mgoing to do what it takes to make sure I never go back.”
Sean’s nod was slow, but it came.“Yeah.Okay.”He sighed as if he was amazed once again by the injustice ofthe world.“Fuck.But, okay.We can still have some fun.”Hepointed his fork at Lucas’s plate.“Eat up and let’s get out ofhere.If we’re having an early end, we’d better get an earlystart.”He crammed a huge forkful of potatoes into his mouth as ademonstration of the desired eating technique, and Lucas obeyed theinstructions.
For better or worse, he was home.
ChapterTwo
“You know God loves you, Alex.”Mark Webberwaited patiently for a response, and was finally rewarded with atentative nod.“Maybe you aren’t all that sure,” Mark said.“ButI’m sure.And God is sure.”He wanted to reach out his hand to theboy in front of him, but he kept himself still.He knew hisintentions were pure, but that didn’t matter—not to the worldaround him and not, even more importantly, to this confusedteenager.So he couldn’t offer physical comfort and would have todo what he could with words.
“You feel alone.And I can tell you as manytimes as I want to that you’re never truly alone, but that doesn’tchange the way you feel, does it?”
“No,” the boy said in a small voice that wascracking with the always volatile mix of emotions and puberty.
“You know there are other kids going througha similar struggle.I know that you don’t want to meet with them,but I don’t quite understand why.Can you explain it to me?”Andnow it was time for more patience.Mark wanted to throw this boyover his shoulder and carry him down the street to the youthcenter, but he sat still and waited instead.
And waited.Just when Mark was about to breakand ask another question, the kid finally said, “I don’t wantpeople to know.”
Mark nodded.“Not anyone?Like, if I couldget you to a meeting without anyone seeing, would that be okay?Ordo you not want the kids in the club to know, either?”
“Some of them are out.I’ve seen them atschool, and they don’t care who knows.What if one of them saidsomething?”
“Yeah.They’re not supposed to—and I thinkthey’re pretty good about it—but you’re right, I can’t guaranteethat it might not get out somehow.So you tell me: what if one ofthem said something?What would happen?”
“Everyone would know!It’d get all overschool.And my dad would find out.”Alex looked ready to bolt outof the room, and Mark raised his hands in a quick gesture ofsurrender.He had a point he’d like to make eventually, but thisclearly wasn’t the time.
“Okay.You’re right, that might happen.Itmight not be as bad as you think, but it should be your choice whenyou tell people.But I’m worried about you feeling so alone when weknow you aren’t.How about meeting with some kids online?You coulduse a screen name for chats, and see how it goes.If you thinkyou’d like to go a little further, you could use the cameras for avideo chat or something.”
“What if someone found out?”
