Winning was no longer the most important thing in my life. I'd found something even better. Two of them, and it felt so much better than I'd ever imagined.
Chapter 32
I fellasleep beside Cody and J.D., wearing nothing. When I woke up, the morning was long gone and the afternoon was just starting. Even better, my lovers were still there, tangled up with me in the best way. This was definitely something I could get used to.
They also needed as much sleep as they could get, so I snuck out of the bed, got dressed, and headed downstairs. In the kitchen, I could hear someone moving around. I rounded the corner to find Maria pulling something that smelled sweet and amazing out of the oven.
"Smells good," I said, scanning the counters for a coffee pot.
"Buenos dias, Tanner," she said, glancing back with a little smile.
"Uh, that's good morning, right?" I asked. "Sadly, I speak exactly no Spanish."
"Means about the same thing," she assured me, moving to open one of the upper cabinets. "Coffee?"
"Yeah," I breathed.
She pulled down a massive cup and moved to a Keurig at the side. A switch was flipped, a pod was put in, and while that brewed, she sauntered over to the fridge to bring out a glassvial of cream. After setting that beside a bowl of what had to be sugar, J.D.'s mom found a spoon and offered it over.
"Help yourself."
"I think you just did all the helping. Thank you." But I did accept the spoon. I also mixed up my coffee, feeling a bit spoiled. "J.D. and Cody are still sleeping. They probably need it too."
"Is he still hurting?" Maria asked as she made her way over to the small table at the side, then gestured for me to join her.
"He is," I said as I slid in across from her. "He hates to admit it, but Cody's got his number. She makes it clear that if he can do it, then she can too. That includes riding when she's not healed up. Considering she busted her elbow up the same weekend, well, he's been behaving for once."
"What do they have him on for the pain?" she asked.
"After surgery, he had some anti-inflammatories. Fancy Advil, basically. He had antibiotics, but no opiates."
Her eyes jumped up, meeting mine. "So you know?"
I rocked my head. "J.D. doesn't say much about it, but when he got hurt, he made it clear he didn't want opiates. Cody and I have done everything to help with that. He also has her as his emergency contact, you know. That way, he has someone who can override him if he starts asking for them, or so I think."
"Why not you?"
Which made me duck my head. "I think because J.D. knows I'd cave. Seeing him hurting?" Blowing out a breath, I shook my head. "I just wanted it to stop. Cody wanted to make sure he got better." Then I made a little noise. "It's also a lot easier to explain why he's letting some woman get so intertwined in his life."
Maria leaned back and looked me over. "Is he protecting himself or you?"
"Me, I think."
"So what are you protecting?" she asked.
For a moment, I simply allowed my hands to warm on the side of the mug I was holding. The coffee inside it had a few bubbles on the top from being brewed, but they didn't have any answers for me. Still, they were safer than looking into a pair of dark brown eyes that matched my boyfriend's.
"I don't want them to lose everything," I explained. "Cody's publicly tangled up with me. J.D. has a reputation that earns him a lot of money. They're bull riders, ma'am - "
"Maria or Mama," she corrected.
I nodded, accepting that. "Ok, but my point is, this thing we're doing? It's not going to go over well in the PBR. They say they don't care, but I already got suspended for just the rumor of being gay."
"Are you?"
"Bi," I said. "Well, pansexual, but that's my point. I've basically lost my job because of who I sleep with in general. Cody? She's spent her life working for this chance. J.D.? He's at the top of his career. He's a household name, making enough money to secure the rest of his life. I've already been all but kicked out, but I know why they're doing this. To me, it makes more sense for me to cheer them on, you know? Hell, maybe Cody should dump me and officially start dating J.D. I can get a job, keep cheering them on, and - "
"Get left behind, hope they miss you, and sacrifice yourself for those two?" she broke in. "Make it easy for them to lie, pretending like you're long gone, no big deal, and not a part of their happiness?"
