His mouth took mine hard and fast. I caught his shirt, pulling him even closer, and I kissed back as hard as he kissed me. It was frantic, maybe a little scared, but this was exactly what I needed. The feel of this man kissing me the way he kissed J.D.? It felt like a declaration of some kind.
"Find me when I'm done," I whispered as I pulled away. "I have a feeling we won't want to stick around for the awards."
"They'll say you couldn't take it," he countered.
"Let 'em."
He nodded once, then stepped back. "So I should tell J.D. you're fine to ride?"
"Tell him Casey was an asshole and an idiot," I decided.
Because it was true. It also avoided the real problem: a rider had just died out there. Yes, I was scared, but I'd been worried back in Boise too. This simply made it all a little more real. It also hadn't been me, and I would make damned sure it never was.
"Be safe," Tanner said, and we both turned our separate ways.
He was heading for the stands. I needed to get back up on the catwalk behind the chutes, but my feet begged me to dawdle. The event would be on hold for a bit, but I wanted to see how they were going to handle this. I wanted to be with the other riders. Most of all, I just wanted to know what the fuck was going on.
A man was dead, and I felt something about that. I'd hated him, which made it complicated as fuck. Worse, all of those feelings were spiraling in my mind, but J.D. had taught me how to deal with this. With each step I took toward the cattle chutes, I shoved those emotions deep into my boots, pushing them down until I felt like I could be in control again.
Chapter 4
Cody headed toward the stairs,so I turned toward the chute that would eventually be mine, occasionally glancing at the big screen. Up there, Casey's record was being displayed. They showed a few of his past rides from other events. That they weren't showing this wreck was a little too obvious, and I had a bad feeling I knew why.
The screens around the downed rider, the ambulance backing its way up the alley at the side, and the men who kept running toward that side of the arena, carrying medical supplies? It all added up the same way. Whatever had happened to Casey wasbad.The sort of bad that meant he wouldn't be coming back.
I didn't know if he was wounded that severely or already dead, but either was possible. Back in Boise, it had been disastrous. Multiple guys had been injured bad enough they wouldn't be back before finals - if at all. Others were now riding wounded. And, just to top it off, the new bullfighters didn't seem to give a shit.
But this? This was so much worse.
When I reached my end of the chutes, Renato was reclined against the railing across from where I'd be riding. I had a feelinghe'd been waiting for me. Annoyed at this mess, I flopped into place beside him with a heavy sigh.
"This is bullshit, you know?" I asked.
"Yep." Then he sighed. "What the fuck happened while I was gone, Ty?"
I flicked a finger to the arena. "They showed up."
"And?" he pressed. "You have to give me more than that, because this shit is not the same PBR I left in St. Louis. J.D.'s out injured. You're not fawning all over Cody anymore, and the men back here don't talk about her like they hate her. The alternate bullfighters are now the mains." He tipped his head toward the privacy screens they were busy taking down. "Now that."
"I think you summed it up pretty good," I told him.
"And you aren't talking," he snapped. "So, talk."
I turned to meet his eyes. "I told you. I lost the girl. So far as I care, the rest of this is all tied up with it. She stepped up for Tanner. J.D. stepped up for her. I shoved my head up my ass, and Cody started showing these boys up. Austin got pissed about it, so he went after the only one of us he could reach: Tanner."
"Dumb move," Renato grumbled.
"More than you know," I agreed. "But Austin's attack hit. He told the press Tanner's gay. Tanner got suspended, and the rest of the wolf pack refuses to work without him - which makes a lot more sense now that I've seen those three 'work.' Those dipshits don't know their heads from their asses, and they sure don't have a clue how to handle cattle. A rider just paid for it."
"How do you think the PBR's going to deal with this?" he asked. "Will we get our matadors back now?"
"Shit," I grumbled. "Probably not. Hell, they should cancel tonight's event, but I bet they won't."
"Can't," Renato clarified. "They need to notify Casey's family, so they'll play it off like an injury. They'll say he's headed to the hospital and get everyone to pray for him. Sometime in themiddle of the morning, they'll put out an announcement that he died, and tomorrow will start with more praying."
"You sure he's dead?" I asked.
Renato looked over at me. "Sure? No, but close. The way they blocked out everything, including the back of the ambulance? That means he isn't going to be moving - and they don't want to cover him up with a sheet, making it obvious. Nope, they're going to play this off for a bit."
