"Ok," I said, catching his hand. "But you have to get back up there before anyone sees you. I don't know what they'll do if they catch you back here. And, Tanner, if this is as bad as it looked…"
"Yeah," Tanner said, wrapping his arm around my shoulders to guide me towards the warm-up area. "J.D.'s probably losing his mind too."
But around us, people were moving a little too fast. I turned to see what was going on, and Tanner looked the other way. Gates started clanking, cattle were shifting in their temporary pens, and I swore I heard a motor. It was like a car or a truck, but different. Bigger.
Then someone rounded the corner, hurrying past. "Ambulance is backing in!" he called to the guys at the cattle gate.
From the side, I caught as someone said, "...Dead."
"They need to cancel the rest of the show," someone else said.
I looked at Tanner. "No…"
He pulled me out of the way as more and more people started moving - and fast. It was like the entire support staff had just been activated. In the distance, I could hear the announcer talking all low and calm, which was never a good thing.
"Hey," Tanner said, catching one of the people hurrying past. "What's the status on Casey?"
The guy gestured towards the men around the bull gate, then shifted closer. "That guy you tried to help?" He shook his head. "He's dead, Tanner. The bull stepped on him a few times before you jumped the fence. They're doing CPR right now." Then he clasped Tanner's arm. "Which proves you were needed down there, but if I was you, I'd stay the fuck out of Donald Merrill's sight tonight. He's on a rant and wants this to go off without a hitch." And he pointed at the headset he was wearing.
I felt like someone had dropped me into ice. My body didn't want to work, and my brain was flying much too fast. Dead. Ididn't even like this guy, but still, hearing that? I felt something, and whatever it was hit me hard.
But Tanner told the guy, "Appreciate the heads-up." Then he turned me away, guiding me toward the warm-up area again.
The guy went the other way, but there was a feeling growing in the air. It was made from the sound of hurried steps in empty halls and a lack of music. Not even the cattle were mooing. Considering these weekends were meant to be loud and wild, it all proved just how bad things had gotten.
And yet, with every step I felt like my blood was moving slower. My ears were starting to ring as the reality set in: Casey was dead. A rider had just lost his life in the arena. It had been years since that had happened. Four? More? I didn't know, but the last time had been before I'd considered going pro. To me, it had been a blip on my radar, and easy to forget.
Thiswas real.
This could've beenme.
This was proof things really had gone to shit, and I didn't have a fucking clue how to deal with it.
"Cody?" Tanner begged once we were out of everyone's way. "I have to get back up there, but..." He turned me to face him. "Be careful, beautiful. Please don't take any risks?"
"Tanner, I have to ride. If they don't cancel the show, I need to be on a bull."
"I know," he promised. "I do, but just..." He paused to pull in a breath, reaching up to cradle my head, making me look up at him. "Iwilljump that rail again, and we both know that if I do, I'll never be allowed back in, so please be careful?"
I nodded enough for him to see, but not enough to shake his hand from my face. I didn't want to feel like this, and yet knowing Casey had been killed? It made my body feel jittery, like I wanted to run away, but also like I had nowhere to go.
"Just this bull," I whispered. "Just this ride - and no stupid risks. I'd rather get a no-score than an injury."
He let out a heavy breath and nodded. "Yeah. That makes me feel better. And don't let this shit rattle you. You've always ridden better than Casey.You knowwhat you're doing."
But I was already rattled. I was freaking the fuck out, if I was honest, and trying my hardest to put on a brave face. We'd all bitched about the new bullfighters, but I'd never imagined it would get this bad! I'd assumed more broken bones and pulled joints.
I also knew he was right.
"I still have to ride," I said again, but softer this time. Weaker.
That made him shift a little closer, putting us chest to chest. His pretty hazel eyes held mine as he reached up with his free hand to slide his hat off his head. Then he bent closer, pausing with our mouths a hair apart.
"I will never try to talk you out of that. Cody Lane, you belong on the back of a bull. You make me fucking proud each time you go out. So I'm not trying to talk you out of it." His eyes jumped from one of mine to the other. "You got this, Cody. My problem istheydon't, and I don't want you to pay for my mistakes."
I lifted my chin just a bit more. "We're not mistakes, Tanner."
"Fuck no, you're not," he agreed, finally closing that last inch.
