He turned to wave down the bartender. "Bud Lime?"
"Coming up!"
I shifted over onto one of the bench seats, making it clear I wasn't going anywhere until he answered. Yet instead ofgrumbling about it, Ty simply turned to scan the tables around us, then took a spot on the other side of the booth.
"I thought I'd found her," he admitted. "Tanner did, but I didn't know that. I just met this cute blonde on Friday night, back in Tulsa. Her jeans said she'd been riding something. She said she wasn't with the drill team. J.D. said there was supposed to be a woman trying to ride bulls."
"Makes sense," I said, hoping I was encouraging him.
"Well, I almost had the girl." Ty laughed once, then paused to accept his beer and tip the bartender again. He took a long drink, and as he swallowed, I swore his demeanor changed. "I thought I was going to convince her to fall in love with me, just like some buckle bunny."
"Cody?" I scoffed.
He canted his head, making it clear that had been his mistake. "Yeah, she's nothing like those girls who pick us up at bars. Cody's the real deal. I figured that out when she came off Disco Breakout. I was the one falling instead when her rope got greased. Then, when she won her first buckle ever? Yeah, I was a goner - and trying to convince myself it went the other way around."
"She's something," I agreed, hoping he'd give me a little more.
Ty nodded. "Yep, and that's the problem. She reallyissomething, Jake. Cody Jennings is exactly what most of us wish we were. Sadly, it shows."
"And that's a problem?"
"Is when my jealous ass decided I was going to win her. I was going to make her fall in love with me - not the other way around. I was going to be the man to get with the first woman in the PBR. I was going to be the one she hung on, fawned over, and all that shit. It was supposed to be all about me."
"Then Tanner stepped up?" I guessed.
"Shit," he drawled, proving he'd been in this country a little too long. "She got with Tanner to prove he wasn't gay. I knew he was into her. She knew he was into J.D. Somewhere in there, they figured their shit out, and it was fine. An open thing, right? I could still be with her, but my pride got in the way. I was so worried about what the rest of you guys would think that I needed an excuse. Some reason to explain why I wasn't picking up all the women anymore. Some way to excuse me being so fucking addicted to that woman, because I didn't want it to look likeImight be chasingher."
"And yet you're not with her," I pointed out, "and still not at the bar trying to find tonight's bed warmer."
"Because the moment she dumped me," he explained, "I realized I didn't want a bed warmer. I wanted more. Now, I fucked it up with Cody, but that doesn't change anything. I don't want a warm, wet hole. I don't want to fuck. I want someone I can talk to. Someone to sit on my right, with her bare feet on the dash, who'll make the miles feel like they're too short."
"To settle down," I said, nodding to show I understood. "Yeah, happens to all of us sooner or later, Ty. We realize the fucking and fighting isn't as cool as we think. We realize what we've really been chasing is meaning."
The man's hand tensed as he froze for a moment. "Say that again?" he begged.
"We're chasing meaning," I repeated. "Because why the hell are we risking our bodies for this sport? What good is money if we can't enjoy it later in life? What is this entire fucking rat race for if there's no damned meaning to it?"
"And have you found it?" he asked. "The meaning, I mean."
I shook my head. "Sadly, no, but I think all of this actually helps."
Ty gestured to the bartender. "Want one?"
I waved him off. "Nope. I have a feeling I'm going to need to drive us both to the bar so we can get the other riders on board with this shit. I'm just giving Wes a little time to get them fired up."
"You're good at this," Ty told me. "I mean it, Jake. I never would've thought to get everyone working together if you hadn't been pushing."
I just shook my head. "Shit."
"I'm serious," he pressed. "You've been placing right at the top for a while now, but you're never in the spotlight. I'm starting to think you have the right of it."
"I'm staying out of that spotlight for my own reasons," I assured him. "And I couldn't have convinced these guys to boycott their rides, Ty. That was all you. You're the one they respect. You're the one they want to be."
"No, that's J.D."
"No," I corrected. "J.D. is the one they want to avoid. You're the man they idolize. Renato too, if I'm honest. The two of you? You get the girls, the checks, and the sponsors. You're doing everything right, staying safe, and both the men and women who love this sport know your names."
"Yeah, pretty sure that's not going to be the case next year."
