But he shook his head. "Nope. If I'm honest, I'm kinda trying to fix what I fucked up. I'm trying to be a real friend to her. And this? I think this is the one thing I can help her with right now."
"Me?"
He nodded. "Making sure the guy with a crush on her isn't too chickenshit to take a risk and see what can happen. I mean, you didn't kiss her. I did. That means you're already better for her than I was."
"And makes me think you're a hell of a lot better man now than you were back in Tulsa," I told him. "You're also putting me to shame."
"Nope," he said. "I'm still learning. You are too, but I figure there's a reason you're my arch neblesis. I mean, someone has to give you a kick in the ass, right? And trust me, Cody Jennings is not the woman you want to let get away, because she will. Shewill walk right out of your life and leave you hating yourself for it."
"Like she did to you?" I asked.
"Yeah," he breathed. "Because for that short time she kept me around?" He smiled a bit to make it clear he was changing his language intentionally. "She knocked me out of the rut I'd fallen into. She convinced me that 'good enough' isn't good enough. Jake, that woman really is worth the risk."
"Yeah," I agreed, thinking back to the feel of her pink shirt in my hands, the smell of her hair, and how blue her eyes had been when they'd landed on me. "But am I?"
"Make sure you are," Ty said. "That'show we become good men."
Chapter 53
I wokeup Thursday afternoon in a bed that was too messy for one person, hearing the sounds of the TV out in the living room, and smelling something amazing - which made my stomach pissed. That was enough to convince me to start my day with a shower.
Under the steaming hot water, I put together the pieces of what I'd done. I also tried to ignore my shame about it. And yet, when I finally made it out of the bedroom, Tanner had a coffee and some boring toast ready for me. A nice, easy breakfast that respected the massive hangover I had.
It was J.D. who told me they knew about me trying to kiss Jake. He said it in a way that made most of my shame evaporate. He told me about Jake sticking around to tell them about it, and wasn't shy at all about praising me for chasing what I'd wanted.
But did I want it? Well, him. Or had it just been too much to drink?
Thankfully, I didn't really have time to worry about it. This was the last day of our break, and we still had a few more things to figure out. J.D. called Max to double-check that everything was on the up-and-up. He also asked about his chaps. Tanner went to talk to Jorge and Isaac. Likely to get more about whathad happened at the bar, but also to make sure they were on the same page too.
What those men didn't do was grill me about Jake. They didn't pick on me, or ask about my feelings. It was as if they'd forgotten completely, but I knew better. These two were showing me it was ok in their own way, but I wasn't quite sure how to ask them about it. So I didn't.
And that night, we stayed in for no other reason than to finally get to enjoy the room. Tanner actually cooked dinner for us, served up on boring hotel plates, but it was homey in a way I wasn't used to. When J.D. put on a movie, the three of us curled up together in some tangle on the couch.
I woke up with Tanner carrying me to bed. There, I cuddled up against J.D., with Tanner wrapping his arms around both of us. Then I slept - hard.
The first alarm to go off the next morning wasn't mine. It was also from a song, and the line I caught simply said, "bull rider." The voice sounded like Johnny Cash, but it was silenced before I could figure out if I'd heard that one before.
"Tanner, turn off her alarm," J.D. whispered.
Tanner murmured something that sounded like agreement, then the mattress shifted. Sadly, I was awake now. Alarm or not, I wouldn't be going back to sleep.
"Pass me my phone," I grumbled, "and I'll order breakfast."
"Deal," Tanner said.
Then, one by one, we managed to get up, clean up, and find the proper clothes for the day. For the first time in far too long, J.D. pulled out his black-and-red shirt. Tanner was wearing black shorts with a nice, new version of that rainbow shirt. On the front was a small logo over his chest. The back?
It not only had the Deviant voodoo doll in their standard blue and green, but the red ring around it matched the words "Deviant Rescue Squad," written underneath. The middle of therainbow was purple, but the left sleeve was red, the shoulder was pink, and the hip on the bottom right side was blue and then turquoise.
"I like it," I told him.
But the morning was chaos. We grabbed food while packing what we'd need for the day. We sucked back as much coffee as we could get in. Both J.D. and I called out for some piece of gear we were sure we were missing, only to find it in another bag.
Then it was time to go.
Since Tanner was meeting his guys at the arena, and Rhaven had already told him she was there, making sure this was going to go off without a hitch, we rode to the arena together. It was a short trip, and the traffic for the event wasn't slowing things down yet, but we wanted to get there early.
"We need to draw our bulls," J.D. reminded me.
