"Then why are you eventalkingto him?" he asked.
I shifted over, making room on the bed for him to sit. "Because I'm terrified that I'm going to ruinus. All of us. Over and over, I do something - and I don't even know what - and it all blows up. This? It's everything I ever hoped for, plus you."
A soft laugh escaped, allowing Luke to finally step closer. He sighed before sitting down, but then he lay across the bed beside me. His hand immediately moved to my arm, and for a moment our eyes met.
"I tried not to love you. I tried to take it slow." I turned to see him a little better. "I thought that if I cooled things off, then maybe I'd figure out how to smolder instead of combust. I mean, everyone says that Ash and I burned so brightly that we burned out, so I was trying to get it right, but you're just too amazing."
"Why do you need to talk to that guy?" Luke asked, ignoring all the good things I'd just said.
I pushed out a heavy breath. "Closure, guilt, and curiosity. I honestly don't know, but I feel like I need to do this."
He nodded. "When?"
"Didn't set a date, because I'm not about to do this without letting everyone know. Ash and Violet already gave their permission. I just need you to tell me this is ok. That I'm not crossing some line or messing up."
He reached up and ran the side of his finger across my beard. "I hate it. I can't stand the idea of you with a man you loved that much. I keep thinking you're going to remember what he did that made you happy and forget all about us. At the same time, I get it. I can't count how many times I wished a girl would tell me how I'd fucked up. The ones I liked always bailed, and the ones I never planned to spend more than one night with were the ones dreaming of forever."
"Isn't that the truth," I agreed, leaning into his hand. "Just know that I'm doing this for me. Not for him, but for me. I'm doing this because..."
He shifted a little closer. "Because you need to. Just the fact that you told me makes it better."
"But not good," I realized.
Luke turned onto his back with a groan. "Cy, I don't know how to break this to you, but you aren't the only man in the world who doesn't think he's good enough. I mean, a lingerie model, an underwear model, and a doctor? What the fuck are you three doing with me?"
"Well, currently I'm thinking about how well that shirt shows off your pecs."
He looked over with a devious smile. "Like this, huh?"
"Like the dick too. Ass is nice and tight. I mean, if we're just talking about the physical stuff." I moved a little closer, just enough so I could press my head against his shoulder. "Mostly, I like how you do everything full force. I love how you always fight for it. Doesn't matter if you should or not, you still will."
"Hotheaded," he said, sounding like he'd heard it far too many times.
"Now stop and think about the kind I like," I reminded him. "Ash is a hothead. Violet? She used to be, before she turned it into poison. Luke, she had the most impressive tantrums, too."
"Yeah?" He moved his arm so I could use his chest as a pillow.
So I did. "I love that you're all man, and yet all heart. It's like you forgot that bit where you're supposed to only be horny or pissed. Every time you ask a question or admit what you don't know? I love you just a little more."
"Those are supposed to be bad things," he said softly.
I moved my arm across his waist. "Not to me. I love that you're just as perfect as them but a lot more approachable. And this. You touch. Lots of little touches, but you always do it. Makes me feel like you aren't in this for a fuck, but rather for something more."
"I've never fallen in love before," he whispered. "I mean, not before you three. I..." He paused to swallow, and I felt his heart beat a little faster under my head. "I've been in lust. Oh, I've done that a lot, but the moment I saw Violet, I knew she was something different. I knew she was trouble, and I liked it. Then Ash, but he pissed me off. I hated him because I think I knew I could love him too easily." He paused to look down. "Then there was you."
I tilted my head to meet his eyes. "You should've punched me for kissing your girl."
A soft smile claimed his lips. "You made me feel like I belonged, Cy. Like you had all the answers, but you'd be willing to share them. You treated me like an equal, and I sure as shit don't feel equal to a doctor."
"It's just a degree," I reminded him.
"And I never finished high school."
"Doesn't mean you aren't educated. School's just an easy place to get it. Life hits harder when it hands out its lessons, but you took them all and turned them into a damned good man."
His hand came back to caress the edge of my face. "You'd better come back. I didn't put out just to chase you off."
"If it means I get to hit that ass again, I'll be back," I teased.
