"No, he dumped me tobecomea model." I just sighed. "I think this is proof of why it never would've worked. You don't know me, and I don't fucking care. I just want to know why you're trying so hard to get me back when it's not happening. I'm home, Kindle. I'm happy. I'm with the people I love, and - "
"What do you mean?" he broke in. "What are you doing in that house?"
"Ash and Violet were my first real friends," I explained. "That woman is a bitch, but she's family. Her grandmother raised all of us. We came here for a second chance because we all fucked up the first one. We became friends, and it's not just us three. There's more. Luke came through later on, and so on."
"Luke's the bubba?" he asked.
"Cowboy," I corrected. "Calling my friend a bubba isn't winning you points either. That man took a few punches for my boyfriend."
"You sure they're not messing around?" he taunted.
I laughed at that, because I was pretty sure they were. The blow job moment popped into my head and I laughed again, but I wouldn't tell Kindle that. He was trying to get under my skin, and I just couldn't figure out why.
"Luke's sticking his dick in Violet. Pretty sure he's happy with what he's got. Trust me, their room is right next to mine."
All truth. None of it was a lie, and yet it gave my ex all the wrong impressions. Oddly, I didn't feel bad about it at all. I should've. I was pissed at this guy for lying to me, and yet I was all but lying by omission - but I no longer owed him anything. As far as I cared, he'd lost the right to my secrets when he'd snuck around on me.
"Cy, what happened? You used to love me," Kindle mumbled. "We were so good together. There has to be a way for us to fix this."
"What happened is that you cheated," I told him. "Look, if you'd talked to me, that would be different. Instead, you lied, went behind my back, and left me looking like an idiot. And when I caught you, you lied again, and you'restilldoing it! I just want to know why!"
"Is there any way we can do this face to face?" he asked. "Please, Cy? Just give me a chance?"
I wanted to say no. Every instinct in my body told me to, and yet I wanted to know. I needed to hear him finally admit what I'd done that had driven him to lie to me. I could understand falling into someone else's arms. We'd had shifts that didn't exactly line up, so while I didn't agree, I could at least understand him being lonely. I just couldn't get over the lying part, and I wanted to know why he'd felt like he'd had to.
"Ok," I gave in. "Not today. Probably not tomorrow, but I'll text you and let you know."
"Really?" he asked.
"I just want closure," I told him. "We're not getting back together, and yeah, I'm going to tell Ash where I'm going, but I think I deserve to know what I did that was so bad you could tear me apart like that."
"Cy..." he whimpered. "I love you so much. I miss you more than I could ever imagine. Promise me you'll actually do this?"
"Yeah," I said begrudgingly, "I promise. Now stop calling me, Kindle, or I'll block you again."
"Soon?" he begged.
"When I have free time." And then, without giving him the chance to drag this out, I ended the call.
But I immediately tilted my phone down and started typing. Violet understood why I wanted to do this. Not for Kindle, but for my own peace of mind. Ash thought I was insane, but he'd said that he trusted me, and we all had to chase our own things. He swore he didn't care because he already knew I was his.
Luke was the problem, and there was no way I could be pissed at Kindle and do the same thing. So I typed out a message asking Luke to come to my room, telling him we needed to talk. I hoped it wasn't a bad thing, but I needed an adult conversation with no kids. A moment later, I got a thumbs-up emoji.
Less than a minute later, he tapped at my door before slipping in. I looked up and gave him a weak smile, but I was still holding my phone. With my other hand, I gestured for him to lock the door.
"I'm going to say something," I warned him, "and I'd like the chance to get it all out before you try to punch me."
His body stilled. "Ok?"
"I answered the phone." I lifted it to show what I meant, then tossed it onto the bed beside me. "I don't even know why, but I did, and I wanted to tell you about it."
"Kindle?" he asked.
I nodded. "And I'm going to talk to him. Face to face."
"What?!" he gasped.
I just lifted my hand, begging him to wait. "Luke, we all have our own demons, and this is mine. I have a hard time believing that I don't fuck things up, and I feel like I fucked that up. The last thing I want is to make the same mistake again, so I'm going to give him the chance to tell me what I did wrong. I'm not getting back with him."
