She nodded. "I like the idea of all of us together, but that's a pipe dream."
"Doesn't have to be," I told her. "And Cy would probably be a good dad too. Ash? Well, he could pay for shit."
She pressed her face into my chest to smother her laugh. "He's better than you think. Believe it or not, he's only a hard-ass to those who can take it. For those who can't, he's a hard-assforthem, and a softie to them." She turned her face to look up at me. "You know he's staying, right?"
"Kinda got that impression."
"Well, he took this nineteen-year-old temp secretary and made her his assistant. Multi-million-dollar company. Risqué is trending in fashion circles. It's the kind of position that people fight to get, and it sounds like he just walked out of his office, saw this kid busting her ass. She looked up at him, half scared, half in awe, and that was all it took. His gut said she needed a little help up, so he made her the second in charge of his entire company."
"Shit," I breathed. "What happens if she can't do it?"
"Then he'll teach her how," she explained. "He sends her emails every day, lets her know how to do things better, praises her when she puts her foot down - even to him - and he's making this complete stranger into a success story."
"Same way he made me talk to him," I realized. "He helps people, but does it in a way where they don't feel beholden. Huh." Now I had to rethink everything I knew about him. But that just led my mind back to the elephant in the room. "You know I was serious, right? Before you distracted me with your hot little body?"
"You mean about being with them?"
I nodded. "Yeah. I kinda want to try, but I feel so fucking guilty even thinking that, so I figured that if you try too, then it works, right? And, I mean, it's not like we ever talked about where we are. You know, exclusive or anything. Guys usually expect a girl to look at them once and not touch anyone else, but that's all ego talking. I kinda want, um, no. That's the wrong word. I think..."
"If you kiss them, then I will," she said, ignoring my rambling.
Which meant she understood what I was trying to say. A voice in the back of my mind tried to say it was proof that she would've done it anyway, but I knew better. That was the same one screaming that I was a sinner. I barely believed in God. Well, I believed in the big guy, I just wasn't as sure about his church. Being around Violet was the reason why I'd finally started to question things, and I liked the answers I found for myself a lot more than the ones that were shoved down my throat.
"So what are we doing?" I finally asked. "Is this just some wild fucking? Am I really your boy-toy to come when called?"
She laughed at that. "I wouldn't exactly complain if all I had to do was call and have amazing sex like that." But she paused. "Luke? What happens if you like them more?"
"Kinda what I was wondering," I admitted. "What if we mess up this thing betweenus?"
"So you don't want to do this?"
I shook my head. "No, I do. I just want you to like me most. Well, most for something. I dunno, I'm the best cowboy, Ash is the best queen, and Cy is the best doctor? I just don't want to be a hanger-on. I mean, I want us to be more than physical. For me, it already is. I think you deserve to have whatever it is you have with those guys. And yeah, I'm not blind. I know there's something there. It's why I fucking hated Ash on sight. I knew you were into him, and 'best friend' is bullshit. He's more than that. He deserves to be more, but Cy and I don't deserve to be pushed out. I just don't know how to make it work."
"Just the four of us?" she asked.
I shrugged and nodded at the same time, feeling her shift on my body. "Yeah, I guess that's kinda what I see in my head. Is it stupid?"
"No, it sounds..." She rolled over, onto her stomach, to look at me. "That's my secret fantasy, you know. The thing I don't tell anyone? Yeah, I always wanted to have them and you."
"Oh, me? Always?"
"Ever since you picked me up and carried me to the nurse, yeah. I would imagine living in a big house with fancy clothes and being the most beautiful woman in the world. My three boyfriends lounging around the pool, hanging out together, making out a little, and me being in the middle of it all." She pulled in a breath. "I also wanted a unicorn too, and I figured that was more realistic."
"Nah." I palmed the side of her face. "I think that tomorrow we'll start making your little fantasy into a reality. Trust me, Vi. I think this is the thing that we both need." Then I relaxed my neck, sinking into the pillows. "I just hope those two are on board. They'd have to be fucking idiots to not try."
Chapter Forty
Iheard Luke sneak in during the night. I also heard him fucking Violet across the hall. The bed creaked loud enough that I was sure even Ashton couldn't sleep through it, and the murmur of their voices made it clear that the boy could be at least a little kinky. My hand found my dick somewhere in the middle of it, and I let myself imagine what it would be like to be in the room. To watch her take him. To see him balls-deep in that woman.
As soon as I heard her groan in completion, I lost it. Grabbing the closest thing I had - a t-shirt - I wiped up my mess, feeling like a stupid teenager again. That got tossed into the corner, and then I went back to sleep, glad that woman had finally found someone who could keep her happy.
The next morning, I woke to the sound of Luke leaving, much too early. Since I was doing a shit job of sleeping anyway, I headed up the hall for the shower. The sky was still pink when I turned on the water to let it heat up. After brushing my teeth and taking a real long piss, I climbed in. Then, just about the time I was starting to actually feel awake, I heard the bathroom door open again.
"Cy?" It was Ashton.
"Yeah," I said.
"Just making sure you weren't Luke." Then I heard him flip up the lid on the toilet. A second later, the stream followed.
