“No!” she wailed, and the wild panic in her voice stopped me cold.
“Josie—”
“Don’t leave me with them,” she cried, hysterical now. I hadn’t seen her lose control like this in years, not since she’d been a toddler. She hadn’t even cried this hard when I told her about the trade.
“I’m not leaving you tonight,” I said firmly. Hell, I was going to have a hard time leaving her tomorrow or next week or a month from now. I had a feeling I wasn’t going to be able to breathe properly unless I had her in my line of vision at all times.
But my words didn’t seem to calm her. If anything, she cried harder.
“I won’t run away again,” she said. “I promise. Okay? Just don’t leave. And I won’t be so mean to you or grumpy or?—”
“Hang on a second.” It was starting to occur to me that she wasn’t just talking about me leaving in the immediate future. “Baby, do you think I’m going somewhere?”
She wouldn’t meet my eyes and when she finally responded it was a whisper. “I read on the internet that the team is doomed. They said since everything is such a mess it’s only a matter of time before you demand a trade.”
I stiffened. I’d heard rumors like that, too—that a player of my caliber wouldn’t stick around on a sinking ship. It was bullshit, of course. There were things in my life much more important than a win record.
“I’m not demanding a trade, Josie. That’s silly.” I tilted her chin up so she would look at me, wincing at the sight of her puffy red eyes and the tears that continued to stream down her face. I wiped at a few with my thumbs. “But, sweetie, even if I did get traded, that doesn’t mean I would leave you.” I tried to swallow past a lump in my throat. “We’re in this together, baby girl. Where I go you go.”
She burst into another round of sobs, burying her face in my chest. “But I’ve been so awful.”
I rubbed her back, wanting nothing more than to cry right along with her, hating that she was in so much pain. Somehow, I managed to push down my own emotions, needing to make this right for her. “You haven’t been awful, Josie. You’ve been sad.”
“I knew she didn’t want us,” she sobbed, her voice muffled by my cotton T-shirt. “I always knew it. And I took it out on you. I’ve been so mean, Daddy. I was just…just…”
“You were sad,” I repeated. “That’s all. It was a hard time, Josie. I knew that.” I kissed the top of her head, hating that these thoughts had ever been bouncing around in there. “You don’t have to be sorry for anything.”
“I thought you were going to leave me with Granny and Grandpa,” she whispered, and I froze in horror. “I thought that’s why we moved here.”
“No,” I finally burst out when I could breathe again. “Oh, no, Josie. Never. I swear to you, I wouldn’t do that. Not ever.”
She raised her swollen, tear stained face up to meet my gaze. “Are you sure?”
Tears pricked at my own eyes and I didn’t bother to wipe them away. “I’m positive. You’re my whole world, baby girl. I love you so much.”
“I love you too, Daddy,” she whispered. “I’m so sorry.”
“Shh, now. That’s enough of that.”
I tucked her under my chin again and rubbed her back, over and over, just the way I had done when she was a baby and couldn’t fall asleep. Slowly, her breathing started to even out, her hiccupping sobs coming farther and farther apart.
When she finally seemed relaxed enough, I squeezed her shoulders. “Think you can stand up?”
She nodded and pulled herself away. Her movements still seemed shaky but she was able to stand on her own two feet. I stood as well, finally turning to see that the crowd had dispersed entirely. All that remained were the three police officers from the house, the Taylors, Andy, Jay, and Grace.
My eyes met hers immediately and she gave me a weak smile as she wiped away her own tears. I wanted to go to her in that moment, to have her and Josie both in my arms. To just hold them, these two girls who meant everything to me. But Josie’s quick intake of breath reminded me that I had more pressing matters to attend to.
I looked down and saw her eyeing the cops with wide, worried eyes. “Am I in trouble?” she whispered.
“No sweetie.” I squeezed her hand. “But you can’t ever,everdo something like that again. You really had us worried.”
She looked down at the grass. “I know. I’m sorry,” she said in a small voice. “I just…I was just really upset and I didn’t know what to do.”
“Running away is never the answer,” I said. “If you ever feel like you don’t know what to do, you talk to me. Or your grandparents.” My eyes met Grace’s again. “Or your teacher.”
“Okay,” Josie whispered.
I placed a hand on her head, reminding myself that she was here and okay, and took a deep breath. “Let’s get you home.”
