“I’m going to getcha.” A man dressed in a dark brown jumpsuit uniform stalks along the edge of the hallway, holding a prybar and a slatted box with a handle.
Holding up my hands in surrender, I say, “Whatever it is, I don’t have it.”
The man straightens. His eyes are slightly glassy and his hair is disheveled. “That’s good to hear, Miss Thompson. I don’t know what you’d do if you did. Cry bloody murder?”
I tremble at the sight of the building custodian prowling along the hall like he’s gone mad. “Murder what?”
“It had poor Mrs. Madison across the hall here up half the night with worry.” He sneezes.
My hands lower a fraction as I realize Cecil isn’t going to strike me with the prybar.
“I’ve been on the search for hours, even in the heating ducts. That messed with the sinuses. I haven’t stopped sneezing. And it’s hot in there with the way Edith Harlin in 2A keeps the heat cranked all year. Says she’s cold in her bones.” He shakes his head.
“What are you looking for?”
“The problem is Petunia Radley in 1A called this morning and said her son’s pet lizard got loose. Of course, Mrs. Madison finds out everything, so as soon as she caught wind, she insisted I find it right away or she’d call—I don’t know. Animal control? The Ghostbusters? A lizard protection organization?”
I almost laugh. “Well, that’s a relief. Guess I’m not too worried about a lizard.”
“Well, its name is Chompy the Swamp King, so we can’t be too careful.”
“Chompy the what?”
“It’s an alligator lizard.”
“There’s an alligator loose in the building?”
“Don’t worry, it’s still small. Maybe about six inches long and needs warmth, so keep a lookout.”
I blink a few times, afraid of what’ll happen in six months if Cecil doesn’t track it down.
“I’d better be on my?—”
Before he finishes his sentence, my right contact pops out of my eye and hits him on the nose before disappearing onto the floor.
“Oh dear. I am so sorry,” I say with one eye closed.
“Miss, did your eye just come out of your head?” He scans the floor.
“No, just my contact and my ability to see. I’m legally blind in the other one.” Thankfully, that contact remains intact.
“We’d better find that quick.”
“No, don’t worry about it. You have your hands full. I have another set of contacts inside and—” My phone beeps with a message. Probably Cate wondering where I am. I’m only five minutes late. I still have the customary ten-minute grace period before she can get too mad at my lack of punctuality. A cardinal no-no in the world of etiquette and number three on my list of rules—respect people’s time and be punctual. But we also know life happens and so long as tardiness is rare—as in once every twenty meetings—it’s acceptable. Yes, she’s that precise.
“No, no. We’ll find it. You need to see, especially if Chompy the Swamp King comes slithering around.”
“I thought you said it was a lizard.”
“This is why a young lady like you needs to find a husband.”
“Because a lizard doesn’t slither?”
He sneezes and then wipes his nose. “No, to protect you.”
“Oh. Well, I’ve been looking. What about older ladies like Mrs. Madison? Do they need husbands, too?”
“Well, that’s why she has me.” He winks.
