“Social sciences, yes,” I reply, moving my chess piece carefully.
“Doesn’t sound like much of a paycheck,” he quips.
“I can get an advanced degree in industrial-organizational psychology, family counseling, school counseling…” I list some options, not bothering to mention writing. “Colleges have counseling departments too.”
“For what? When spoiled children miss their mommies doing their laundry?” he jokes with painful ignorance. Annie’s face should alert me to take the call off speakerphone, but I feel no obligation to make him look better than he is. If he says anything unflattering, that’s on him. Time to let him own it.
“More like helping students compare the financial outlook of career options, discover their strengths, choose a major, create a budget, and plan their schedules around other responsibilities, like jobs or family.” I attempt to sound educated, amused, and slightly bored by his ignorant comment. “And sometimes newly independent students need help navigating difficult relationships when their dysfunctional families are neck-deep in drama. A little wise counsel never hurt anyone.”
Annie snickers, holding her hand up for a silent high five, well aware that I just delivered an Oscar-worthy Jace impression.
“That’s the perfect career for you, Lu Lu!” she says loud enough for my dad to hear.
He huffs. “And you can accomplish that while gallivanting all over Nashville with a band?”
Ahh,nowwe’re getting somewhere.
“Oh, you saw Sam’s video,” I say with all the nonchalance I can muster. “He’s a music and production major, and I helped with that performance. Isn’t he great?”
I mentally dare him to say something negative about Sammy. I might’ve lost the energy to defend myself, but insult my Moose and I’ll find it.
“I hope your fifteen minutes of fame didn’t rekindle your rock star fantasies.” His tone sounds like he’s kidding, but it’s a thinly veiled insult to make me wonder if I’ve done something to embarrass myself.
Like every conversation my whole life.
Singers are a dime a dozen. I know this. I never even soloed with my competition choirs, but I’ve romanticized music since I was a kid, writing lyrics and stories about musicians. Playing guitar is just a hobby. Nothing more. But what if I wanted it to be more?
What’s so wrong with that?
It’s a good thing I’m not actually good enough, or interested in fame for that matter, because my dad could squash even the most attainable of goals.
I contemplate the strategy of this conversation, almost completely forgetting Annie’s presence until she drops her phone on the counter and mutters a few expletives.
“Nah. One viral video does not a career make.” I laugh with the self-deprecating tone he expects, though I know one videoabsolutelycould launch a career. Not mine, but someone’s. “Fall classes start soon. No potential careers have been jeopardized.” I hope we’ve sufficiently covered the topic and I can get off this nightmare of a call. But he throws one more dagger.
“Were you in Nashville all weekend? You had to pass right through here.”
There it is.
“It was a busy weekend, and I came straight back to work,” I report. “I should be back in a couple of weeks.”
Dad scoffs, “Well, don’t rush back on my account.”
A key jiggling the lock temporarily stops the churning in my stomach, though I know it’s not Jude. He hasn’t had long enough to drive back, and the chaotic key jangling doesn’t belong to him.
“Honeyyy! I’m hoooome!” Sammy barrels into the kitchen, throwing an arm around each of us with a bone-crushing squeeze.
Annie shushes as she drags him to the other side of the bar while shoving a cookie in his mouth.
“Get her off the phone, Moose,” she whispers, nodding to my pained expression.
Sam clears his throat and tamps down his energy. “Hey Lucy, we have to go to the enrollment building to verify our schedules for financial aid.”
I reach out to bump his fist. All that stuff was done online weeks ago.
But just like with Nathan, I lie about things that shouldn’t matter to avoid meaningless confrontations.
“Oh, you’re right,” I say for my dad’s benefit. “Better get going.”
