“Well…” Bridget trailed off.
“Oh?” Catherine asked, her face softening. “What is wrong? You have always been so brazen.”
“I know. Perhaps it is silly,” Bridget said, folding her hands in her lap, “but I fear he will not be welcoming. I do not know if my heart could endure being rejected by him again.”
Catherine reached across the space and squeezed Bridget’s hand. “It is not silly.”
“But I will inevitably have to face him,” Bridget said. “It is only a matter of whether I go to him or if he comes to me.”
“That is true,” Catherine said. “I have an idea, though. Decide how long you are willing to wait for him, and when that day arrives, if he has not come to you, you must go to him.”
“That is easier said than done,” Bridget said. “My fears can only be assuaged by him.”
“I know that. Take some time to think about it and gather your courage. Then, go see him after that day has passed—regardless of how you feel.” Bridget opened her mouth to voice an objection, but Catherine silenced her with a long-suffering look. “While you are concerned about being received poorly, you are also tormenting yourself with these fears of what might happen. It is equally likely that he will be delighted to receive you.”
Bridget bit her lip. She considered that possibility. Rather than dismissing her again, she imagined Lewis pulling her into his strong arms and drawing her in for a deep and passionate kiss. He would tell her that hedidlove her and would apologize for rejecting her. And then?—
In Bridget’s fantasy, everything would fall neatly into place like it always did in novels, but her marriage was proof that the written word was not a wholly accurate reflection of life.
“At least, you will give yourself a definite end to your suffering,” Catherine said. “You are driving yourself half-mad with fears that may never materialize. At some point, your worry must be worse than the rejection.”
Bridget sighed. “Maybe you are right. But if he is not ready to talk to me, it might only make everything worse. What if I damage what we are beyond repair?”
“Bridget, I do not think you could ever do that,” Catherine said. “You have grown since marrying Lewis, but you are still young. And I suspect you are making the situation far worse than it really is.”
Bridget did not really believe that, but she silently hoped Catherine was right.
CHAPTER 38
“My wife has abandoned me,” Lewis said, flinging himself into the chair by the fire. “And worst of all, it is my own fault.”
Morington raised his glass of brandy in a commiserating toast. With a heavy sigh, Lewis clinked his glass against the one his friend held. “Have you heard anything from Reeds?” Morington asked.
“Nothing from Elias,” Lewis replied. “I suppose he has taken Bridget to the countryside. That is where she went during her first scandal, away from prying eyes.”
“Look,” Morington said. “You are my friend, and it pains me to see you like this. Why not go to her?”
“I would not know what to say,” Lewis said, finishing his glass of brandy in a single swallow. “These four days without her havebeen agony. I did not realize how much I—I want her. Now, she is gone.”
“I am so sorry.”
A lump rose in Lewis’s throat. “I love her.”
Those three words lingered in the air, a declaration that he never thought he would make about anyone, much less his reluctant and spirited wife. That was just like him, wasn’t it? He had found love and not even realized it until Bridget was gone, driven away by his own refusal to show her an ounce of affection.
“I would do anything to get her back,” Lewis added quietly.
“Then, you should go to her,” Morington said.
Lewis shook his head. “If Bridget wanted me, she would come to me. She has not, and I cannot ignore her wishes.”
Morington finished his drink and glanced at the clock. He started. “We have been talking for too long! You are quite late to meet the Dowager Duchess.”
Lewis glanced at the clock, confirming that his friend was correct. He was a half-hour late to meet his grandmother, but Lewis made no move to rise. His whole body was weighed down, his muscles too tired to move.
“I do not want to go,” Lewis said.
“I know,” Morington said. “But you must.”
