“I’m so, so sorry Nate. I never meant for things to turn out this way. I never even meant to go back in time…I just… Somehow I keep thinking that this was how things were meant to happen, you know? Do you believe in fate? I never really did. But now—now I feel like I belong somewhere else. If I’m being honest, this place doesn’t even feel like home to me anymore. I’m so sorry Nathan, you have to know I never wanted to hurt you.”
If she’d expected anger or disbelief from this man, it wasn’t what she got. In fact, he looked more at ease now than he had before she’d told him. With a small shock, Nessa realized that Nathan had been waiting for her to release him. He wouldn’t have left her while her world was turned upside down, but he must have come to the same realization over the past couple of weeks. He knew as much as she did that the two of them just weren’t meant to be.
“Nessa, if you want to go…go. I’ll survive. But if you do, know that I’m going to destroy that contraption Angus made. I’m not leaving that doorway open for some idiot to stumble through and accidently change the course of history. You won’t be able to come back again.”
She felt a moment of panic.You won’t be able to come back again. But then, what did she have here that was worth staying for, that she couldn’t have with Bridei in Fortriu?Nothing. And the baby. It hadn’t even sunk in yet that she was pregnant, but she knew that it would soon. A baby should have a father, and a father should know his child. In truth, when the little stick had turned pink, she had felt nothing but love.
“Okay. That’s okay.” She smiled weakly and held his hand in hers across the table. He smiled back.
“Are you sure Ness?”
She nodded. “Yes. And Nate…I hope you and Holly are happy together.”
The surprise on his face was quickly replaced by a sheepish grin. “Thank you. I think we will be. Maybe I’ve been in denial too. This is good, Nessa. This is good for both of us. But please be careful, and be happy, because I love you, I always will.”
“I love you too, Nathan.” After all, there were many, many kinds of love in the human heart.
“Namet! What news?”
The old warrior would have rolled his eyes if the King hadn’t been looking right at him. Bridei was going to drive him—and everyone else—mad by the time this battle was over.
After Nessa had disappeared, he had plunged himself into the thick of battle plans and intense training, barking orders and growling at everyone around him like the wounded wolf that he was. Namet didn’t know why the lass had gone, just that her going had broken Bridei’s heart; though the proud and fierce King would never admit it, not even to himself.
Namet fell in behind Bridei as he walked briskly toward the broch, dutifully recounting the latest maneuverings. “The tribes of Orkney will be ready in ten days, and the Caereni and Epidii have already moved south, ready to meet us a day out from Dunnichen. The Caledonii will arrive three days from now, and will train with us until we leave.”
Bridei nodded, but didn’t stop walking. “They will bring horses?”
“Aye. Fifty. They will camp in the south meadow so the animals can graze. Our women are prepared to offer extra food and drink to the men.”
They reached the door to the broch, and at last the king slowed and turned to his old friend and trusted second-in-command. “We’re close Namet. So close I can taste it. After so many years, let nothing stand in our way.” He noticed the concerned look on Namet’s face. “What?”
“Bridei…are you all right?”
Bridei frowned. “Why wouldn’t I be all right? I am King. My people are preparing to follow me into a battle that will secure our freedom and our lands. I have everything I’ve always wanted.”
“But the lass…”
“Was just another woman. Now leave me, I have work to do.” And he did have work. There was so much to prepare for. But first, before he went to battle, before he lived or died fighting for his father’s lands, there was one thing he had to know.
Meara was seated at her small table. Herbs burned in smoky bundles around her, and the air was heavy with their scent. She might have been praying, or even divining the outcome of the battle; he didn’t know. That wasn’t what he’d come for.
He remembered Nessa telling him that women in the future could choose whether to have a baby, and he could see no reason why she would keephisbaby when she had gone back to the man she loved. And if his child would never be, how could he properly mourn? He had loved it from the moment he had known, and then that joy was almost instantly taken from him. His heart still ached with a hollow emptiness he doubted he would ever be able to fill, not when he had once imagined holding his child in his arms.
Meara looked up, but without her customary smile. She was deep into her work. The outcome of such an important battle would affect every member of the tribe.
“I don’t have an answer yet, if that’s what you want”, she told him. “I can see that Ecgfrith will meet you with his army, but that is all. The rest is hidden for now, even from me.”
Bridei shook his head. “No, that’s not why I’m here.”
“Why then?”
He dropped his eyes to the floor and clenched his fists at his sides. “Just tell me this…was it a son or a daughter?”
“A son. It was a son, my King.”
Nessacame up in the well gasping for air, more prepared this time than the last, but still nearly inhaling a lungful of dark water. She stood up, taking a moment to get her bearings and slow the spinning in her head, then pulled herself up onto the stone floor, the sound of water dripping from her clothes onto the hard surface echoing in the small chamber. With her heart pounding in fretful anticipation, she took the damp, mossy steps two at a time, sighing with relief as she emerged into sunlight, the familiar hulking shape of the broch in the distance. At least she had come to the right place. But was it the right time? She took off at a jog towards the broch, nearly sobbing when she saw Petra coming out of the kitchen building. The woman’s face paled at the sight of her, then lit up with joy.
“Nessa? Nessa! You’ve come back!” She dropped the bundle of sticks she was carrying and ran to give her a hug, despite her dripping clothes.
