“Now I know”, he said, his voice rough.
“Aye.” It was all she could manage to say.
“That wasn’t like I imagined, and I have imagined it so many ways, so many times.”
“You…you have?” She wanted his mouth back on hers…
“Aye. But I couldn’t have known this. I could never have known this…”
Nessa wanted nothing more than to keep kissing him, but when she leaned closer, he held her back, his lips pressed together and eyebrows drawn down as if he was in agony. He let out a long breath and stood slowly.
“I must go, before I cannot.”
“But why? Stay with me. Please.”
“I’m sorry lass, but if I stay any longer, I will not be able to stop with a kiss. I don’t believe I have the strength it would take not to claim you with my whole body.”
“But I…what if I want you to?”
He squeezed his eyes shut as if in pain, but shook his head. His voice was rough. “No. I cannot. I can’t take that chance. I don’t want a child to come of my weakness.”
Domechcaught up to him on the way to the training fields the next morning.
“Did you do it? Do you know what I mean now?”
Bridei sighed. “No, Domech. I didn’t.” He had wanted to, more than he had ever wanted anything before. It had taken every last ounce of his strength and then some to walk away from Nessa after that kiss. He had been burning,franticto take her, mate with her, have his cock inside her so deep that their bodies were melded together as if they were one.
“What?I saw you kiss her. It ended there? Why? Are you mad?”
Bridei scrubbed his hands over his face. “No. Unfortunately for me, I’m perfectly sane.” And now his cock was hard again.Wonderful.
“I don’t understand why you don’t just…”
“Why is whether or not I’m bedding a woman so important to you?” Bridei snapped. Aye, he was irritable. What man in his state wouldn’t be?
Domech took a cautious step back at his prickly tone and shrugged. “No…I just…”
Bridei stopped and turned to face his friend, throwing his hands up in the air in a gesture of frustration. “Children, Domech. Family. Don’t you understand? I’m going off to face my enemy very soon. I won’t leave a child or a wife of mine alone in this world unprotected. What if I should be killed? What if Ecgfrith then goes after my family? An heir of mine would be a target for any one of my enemies, especially if I wasn’t here to protect him.”
“But…”
“Iwon’ttake the chance with Nessa’s safety. It means everything to me.”
“Aye. I’m sorry Bridei, I shouldn’t have pressed. It’s an honorable thing, to wait. I suppose…”
They reached the training grounds, and Bridei began to mentally prepare himself for the day ahead. This was the time when he must put all of his problems and emotions aside and be a leader of men. He clenched his jaw and fingered the hilt of his sword, eager to work off some of the pent-up energy in his body and mind.
“I saw you kissing her last night”, said a voice just behind him. Sten. Bridei closed his eyes and hoped for enough patience. Had everyone in Tallorc been watching them? Aye, they probably had.
“Do you not have other things to do, besides spending all of your time with a woman? Especially one who is more than likely using you?”
“Aye, I have many things to do. And I am doing those things. All of them.”
“You can’t fail, Bridei”, Sten warned. “You will lose your crown along with your grandfather’s lands.”
“Iwon’tfail. The lands are as good as mine.”
“She is a liar a thief, and most likely a spy.”
