After Mama and Daddy died, Austin stayed at the house for a month before he sold it, slowly selling off anything of value. One night I heard him talking to some men in Daddy’s office about getting the money he owes them. He’s always needing money.
Daddy would be angry if he ever caught me eavesdropping, so I only ever heard bits and pieces of their arguments, but what I did hear let me know that Austin has a serious gambling problem.
As all the pieces click into place, my heart rate quickens, my breathing is ragged, and I walk backward away from him. He’s still talking on the phone when I turn around and quickly walk to the front door. Once my feet hit the sidewalk, I start to walk as fast as I can toward my apartment which is at least five miles away.
Walking with my head down through the lunch crowd on the sidewalk, my thoughts are spinning and my chest is tight. Is my brother trying to sell me? I’ve always known he doesn’t like me very much, but would he go that far?
I have vague memories of when my brother lived at home, I was so young that they are fuzzy, but none of them are good. He would push me down when he walked by me, I remember one time he tripped me as I was running to get money for the ice cream truck, and one that is very fuzzy is of him rippingthe tattered blanket I used to carry down the middle.
All my early memories of him end with me in tears.
My summer dress floats around my legs as I walk, and anger moves through me as I remember him telling me to dress nice. I assumed that we were going to a nice restaurant.
I feel stupid for hoping that my closest living relative would want to have a relationship with me.
The heat on the sidewalk is seeping through the thin soles of my flats, but I can’t worry about that, I just need to put as much distance between him and me as possible. The sun on my bare shoulders is hot and the spaghetti straps of the dress make me feel almost naked.
How could he do it? Even if he doesn’t like me, he has to know what would happen to me. Doesn’t he? My stomach is turning and the fear that is gripping my spine is making me feel like I might vomit any second.
I’ve always been in excellent shape because of my dancing, I started dancing when I was six, so walking the five miles to my apartment doesn’t take long, I just want to lock myself in and forget that he ever called me.
The click of the door locking and the familiar, clean smell of my apartment gives my muscles permission to relax as I lean against the door. I take a deep breath and close my eyes fighting the urge to let the tears that have been threatening flow.
A gloved hand on my mouth and a leg between my knees as a large body presses me to the door make my eyes snap open. A man I have never seen before is leering down at me, his lip curling on one side. His black hair is slicked back into a low ponytail and as I’m looking at the stubble on his jaw there is a small prick in my neck seconds before the room starts to get fuzzy and I slip into darkness.
***
My head is pounding behind myforehead, a dull rhythmic pain that pulls me out of sleep, but alarms are going off in my head telling me that something is wrong. I can hear voices, but they sound far off like they are in another room, I think one is my brother.
Opening my eyes is like peeling an orange, my eyelids want to stick together. I try to rub my eyes, but my hands are bound.
Oh, God, no!
Trying to sit up and open my eyes at the same time, I realize that I am bound to a metal table… and my legs are open. My heart starts to thump against my chest as I look down at my completely naked body and my legs in stirrups.
“She’s a little older than what we usually take, so that will reduce the price.” Says an unfamiliar, deep voice.
“Oh no, you don’t get to renegotiate now, we agreed on a price.” My brother’s voice is at its usual high demanding pitch that I used to hear when he would argue with my dad.
“Your deception comes at a price, Mr. Hayes, you let me believe she was younger. The only reason I’m not putting a bullet in your head is that she is pretty, and the men will pay, but she will not get as much as the younger girls.”
There is a pause before my brother says, “Fine, how much less?”
“You’ll get seventy-five percent of the original price.”
“Seventy-five percent?!” My brother’s voice bellows making my head hurt worse.
Everything goes silent when I hear a clicking sound, the silence goes on for moments before my brother’s calmer voice says, “Fine. Just give me my money so I can get out of here.”
The small room I’m in looks like a basement, the walls are cinder blocks with no windows and, even if I weren’t naked, it’s cold. There is a counter that runs the length of the wall across from me, my dress and purse are on one end.
Hurried footsteps scrape on the floor behind my head before I see my brother walk next to me, he pauses and looks at me with hate in his eyes.
“Austin, please don’t do this.” My throat feels so dry that the plea comes out as a whisper, “Please.”
His lip curls back in a sneer and he disappears through a door across from my feet. I don’t know which emotion to feel, there are so many squeezing my chest that my whole body is starting to shake.
For some reason I feel humiliation and shame that my brother just saw me naked, maybe that is some type of coping reaction to the horror of my situation because there is no reason that I should be feeling those emotions right now.
