“Yes, of course. I am still here, when I could have avoided you easily by leaving when Lady Matlock appeared. Nobody will convince me she could not manage Pemberley. I wish to make thebestdecision… for both of us. We have… well, we have much to discuss, but—”
“Yes.”
“But circumstances have removed any chance to discuss it at length over a long time. My reputation ebbs away minute by minute. Expectations are being created hour by hour. Too many people know I am here, and what I am doing. Your reputation might suffer significantly after what happened if we do not have a good explanation before local gossip invents one. We do not have the luxury of weeks or months to court. I fear we must decide fairly quickly.”
Fitzwilliam hated the sound of that but acknowledged the logic and nodded.
“Fitzwilliam… I… well… I mean… Would you do something for me? Something extreme?”
“Name it!”
Elizabeth sighed, looked straight into his eyes, and screwed up her courage once more.
“All these weeks and months, we have both been chewing over the remains of the six weeks you spent in Hertfordshire last autumn like a dog with a bone… all the words, actions, impressions, looks, thoughts, miscommunications, inferences, interferences… all of it. I wantsomething entirely newto think about. Something entirely new forboth of us.It will certainly be new for me, and according to your aunt, for you as well.”
“I am at your disposal.”
“Might you do something with me that will take five or ten minutes, but then put the experience in a box, and not attach any more significance to it than it deserves? Not imply anything beyond the experience itself, and whatever we learn from it?”
Narrowing his eyes in confusion, Fitzwilliam said, “I am at your disposal.”
Gently nodding her head, and with some trepidation, Elizabeth began.
It was the easiest thing in the world for her to move her hands from the outside of his shoulders, where they had remained after her near-fall a dozen minutes earlier, to his neck.
It was the easiest thing in the world to squeeze the back of his neck and twine her fingers into his hair.
It was the easiest thing in the world to move her face slowly closer to his, and watch his eyes widen as she reduced the gap inch by inch.
It was the easiest thing in the world to finally reach across and gently touch his lips to hers. She felt like her insides lit on fire and thought it entirely possible she was glowing, or likely to swoon. She felt his hands squeeze her waist tighter, and found herself not at all opposed to the feeling.
It was the easiest thing in the world for her to increase the pressure on his lips, and move them around a bit awkwardly, but very pleasurably. She felt his hands pull her towards him and felt that he must be in conflict between his instinctive desires and his gentlemanly training, yet she had no doubt which would win.
It was the easiest thing in the world to pull him even tighter and move one of her hands up further on his head to show she was serious and encourage him to lean just the tiniest bit away from deeply ingrainedgentlemanly behaviour. She felt him respond by wrapping his hands back around her waist to her back to pull her even closer.
It was the easiest thing in the world to acquiesce to his pull and mould her body tightly against his waistcoat while continuing the intense pleasure and feeling of belonging she derived from the contact between their lips.
It was the easiest thing in the world to open her mouth and extend her tongue to feel his lips, then withdraw it to feel his respond in kind, hoping he savoured the sensation as she did.
It was the easiest thing in the world to mould her body even tighter against his chest, and wrap her elbows around his shoulder ever tighter, causing him to wrap his arms entirely around her waist.
It was the easiest thing in the world to move her tongue into his waiting mouth, and thereafter brush first against his teeth, and then in a bit of a duel with his tongue. It was the easiest thing in the world to allow him to do the same and allow him his own free exploration, all the while feeling as if she were about to catch fire.
It was the easiest thing in the world to do all this, and she felt that there wassomething entirely newhappening. She felt like the glow must be so bright that anybody would be able to see it in her countenance for at least the next fortnight.
For the first time in ages, she feltperfectly content in the moment.For just a twinkling, all the doubts, fears, thoughts, confusion, and anxiety of the previous months faded away as if they had never existed. For the first time she could remember, she waswell and truly happy, and that was the most frightening thought of all.
It was the hardest thing in the world to give his tongue and his teeth one last caress, and then slowly, ever so slowly, withdraw her tongue to her own mouth.
It was the hardest thing in the world to close her mouth just enough to deny his tongue, even though she knew that in this matter, he was the slave, and she the master.
It was the hardest thing in the world to slow down the wondrous feelings of contact, and gradually reduce the pressure of their mouths, until it was as light as a butterfly’s wing.
It was the hardest thing in the world to gradually reduce the pressure with which she pulled his head to hers, and to allow a small space to form.
It was the hardest thing in the world to endure his adherence to her implied instructions by gradually reducing the pressure on her back and allowing her chest to retreat from the closeness between them.
It was the hardest thing in the world tofinally, after what seemed like hours, pull her lips away from his and return her hands to the base of his neck.
