'I do believe he is,' I said, 'for I can hear his voice.'That was also a lie of course but I was frantic to see him and put the question to him.'We are to be wed,' I said foolishly.
As you know, a turnpike staircase, the circular stairs that wind around a central pillar, do not allow much space for manoeuvre, so it was difficult for two people to pass each other.All the same, I pushed forward, squeezing past the grey-bearded old man so that he lost his footing and tumbled down the stairs.I heard him fall, debated with myself whether I should spend the time ensuring he was uninjured, heard him roaring and told myself that a man who made that much noise could not be badly hurt and ran on.
I knew Whitecleuch well of course, as Robert and I had spent our childhood in and out of each other's homes, so I had no difficulty in reaching Robert's chamber.He had shared the topmost turret room with his brother, who was now so sadly departed, and the door was closed and the internal latch down.However, Robert and I had long perfected the trick of inserting a finger under the opening of the latch and hooking it open.I did so now, thrust open the door and pushed it open as hard as I could.
'Robert Ferguson!'I bellowed, waving my whip, 'what is this nonsense I hear about you and Kate making sheep's eyes at each other…' and then I stopped.
My Mother had been entirely correct.Robert and Kate had been making game of me, with more than looks, poetry, and coy imaginings.When I walked in, they were heavily engaged in playing the two-backed beast on Robert's bed.That was why they had not heard the racket I had made in the great hall and the noises old Archie had made as he thundered down the turnpike with such roarings and lamentations.
I had a vision of Kate lying underneath with her head back and her wondrous blonde hair fanned out across the pillow, her eyes closed in ecstasy and her legs and arms splayed out as far as they could splay.Robert lay on top with his parts deep within her and his naked back and legs before me.
It was pure instinct that made me act as I did next.I am well aware that the polite thing to do in this new refined age would be to make my apologies and gracefully withdraw, but we were not in a polite age.We were on the old Border where people acted as they saw fit, where insults were met by instant revenge and one wrong word could start a feud that lasted generations.I saw the man that was destined to be my husband lying with the woman that was my best friend and I did not stop to think.Lifting my whip, I landed the lash across his shoulders with all the power I could muster, and I had been brought up with physical labour since I was old enough to walk.I lambasted that man, landing my whip across his back and shoulders half a dozen times as he lay and yelled.I saw the residue of the mark the Yorling had left across his white behind and I added to it with gusto, all the time yelling my hurt and my anger at such a rank betrayal.
To say I was angry would be an understatement.To say that I felt betrayed after our recent conversation in the stables would be partly accurate.There was no doubt that I had the Tweedie Passion; now I knew that it could come out in more than one way.I had chosen Robert and this Judas kiss was more than I could stomach.I will add that there was also a powerful feeling of satisfaction as I saw him writhe and heard him yell under my lash.
When Robert twisted his head around to look at me with those huge, sorrowful, hurt eyes I could not continue, much as I knew he deserved it.I dropped the whip and stood there, panting for breath.
'So, you don't wish to talk to me in front of your friends.'I heard the catch in my voice.'Yet you can run to this,' I indicated Kate with a lift of my hand, 'this hussy, this whore, this, this…' I struggled for words that would match my anger.'This town-bred creature.'
I had known Kate for nearly as long as I had known Robert.Her treason hurt nearly as much.I knew that if I remained in this room much longer, I would do something I would truly regret.Robert's sword hung proudly on the wall and for a moment I was sore tempted to blood the blade, so starting a feud between the Tweedies and Fergusons that would rock the Lethan Valley.Instead, I tried to control my passion.
'Robert,' I said, 'you and I have an agreement.We have an arrangement to marry.Together we would rule the Lethan Valley.'I remembered, albeit belatedly, my mother's words.'My family is doing all they can to ensure that our marriage works.Now you have a choice.Either you have me, or you have this other woman.'I could not bear to speak Kate's name.'You cannot have us both.'
Turning away I made what I hoped was a dignified exit.
'Now you know.'Archie Ferguson met me part way down the turnpike with fresh blood seeping down his face.
'Now I know.'With my anger quickly dissipating I felt only like crying.I was empty inside.
'Do you still want him?'
'I still want him,' I said.I had no choice, you see; we were destined to be together.And anyway, how could I blame Robert for doing with Kate what I had done with Hugh?In a way, my recent actions had been directed as much at my own weakness as they had at Robert.
Perhaps that is why I was crying like the Lethan Water itself as I rode up the valley, and perhaps that was why I did not head toward Cardrona Tower but westward, into the high stark hills.Somewhere behind me I heard the voice shouting 'I choose you, I choose you' but I did not know if that was Robert calling from the square keep of Whitecleuch or if it came from inside me.At that second, I did not care.I wanted to be alone.
Chapter Fourteen
FALADALE
OCTOBER 1585
I felt the tears burning my eyes as I pushed Kailzie across the Lethan Water.The western hills were darkening yet seemed more welcoming than any of the peel towers or cottages along the valley.It was only a few days since I had returned home and so much had happened in that time that my mind was in total confusion.
I barely knew where I rode that night.I pushed Kailzie above the outfields and into the heather fringe and allowed her to pick her own route after that.To be honest, I did not know what to do.
Even then, deep within me, I knew that things would turn out for the best.I clung to the truth of my vision, I stuck to that truth.Despite my own weakness with Hugh, despite Robert's betrayal with Kate and my mother's abrupt change of attitude, I knew that I would marry Robert.I now knew that it would not be a perfect marriage; I would not have full trust in him after this evening's revelations, and I certainly did not trust myself.
I rode on into the hills with my faithful brown mare carrying me step by step.There was no rain that night.There was nothing except the wind sighing through the heather and the soft gurgle of distant burns.At one time my mare was walking along the summit ridge of Posso Craig, from where Robert's brother had fallen, making him the heir.My mare halted as something gleamed on top of a shrub of heather.I looked down; father's ring lay there.
I lifted it, folded it in my sleeve and continued.At that moment I thought nothing of the incident.My mind was in confusion.
Hugh.
That name sprang into focus.I had to warn Hugh.Although family was paramount, Hugh and I had been through a lot together in a brief space of time.He had saved my life, and I could not allow him to be killed when my father led the Tweedies on a raid.However, if I warned him, I would be putting my father and all my family, including my fiancé and my new-found brother, in danger.Yet there must be a way.
My thoughts wandered from Robert and of the Yorling over to Kate of the fine blonde hair and lusty nature, and back to Hugh again and I knew that there was a way.I just did not want to follow that crooked and dangerous path.But I knew that I would.I remembered Hugh's smile and the way he cared for me, and the passion he raised in me and I recognised that I would do what was necessary, despite, or because of, Robert.
'This way, girl.'I pushed Kailzie with my knees, guiding her now as we took the hill passes over the Heights.I knew these hills well, up to a point, and that point was a slow-gurgling burn where Tweedie land ended and the lands of the Veitches began.I stopped at that brown burn and looked back over the dark roll of hills that I would own: Tweedie land.Ahead was hostile territory and I was alone, unarmed, and unwanted.I knew only that Hugh was there somewhere, but where, I did not know.
