Shit! She was getting all confused again and was in danger of softening Mr. Asshole. She couldn’t do that. She had to keep up her walls. She had to make sure she was protecting herself first and foremost. There were no other options.
“I really have to go,” she said again.
Susan stood with her. Before Kira knew what was happening, Susan had embraced her. It was such a warm, motherly hug that tears sprang to her eyes. What she wouldn’t give for her own mother to be alive so that she could turn to her for advice!
“I’ll send leftovers home with Joshy,” Susan promised.
Kira’s throat was too tight to speak, so she only nodded. She quickly made her escape and started to walk back to Joshua’s house. If it weren’t for the promise of another scene, she would have gone to her place. The cool air brushed againsther skin and pricked at her eyes. Joshua didn’t even realize how fortunate he was to have parents who loved him.
Not all of us orphans are lucky enough to have people who care for us.
Chapter 8 - Joshua
Joshua didn’t get much sleep that night. He lay in his bed, staring at the ceiling, his thoughts chasing themselves around in circles. The last words his father said to him before he’d headed home kept coming back.You don’t have to push her away to protect her.
That was what he was doing. Pushing her away, hoping that the distance he created would be enough to keep her safe. It had to be exhausting and confusing for her, seeing how he kept doing this damn back and forth. He wanted to be near her so much it hurt, and yet every time they started moving together, he found some way to put another wedge between them.
When morning came, he was exhausted but had made a decision. He was going to stop this. Kira deserved better than to be jerked around. He was going to tell her the truth. He just had to find the right timing.
When he heard her starting to move, he got up, showered, and dressed. It was meant to be a wolf-heavy day, so he wore a tracksuit, something easily shed at a moment’s notice. Then he went downstairs, bracing himself for what he’d decided. Kira was at the stove, making herself some eggs. She glanced at him and silently returned to his work.
“Morning.” Joshua checked, then asked, “Do you want some coffee?”
“No, thank you.”
He could get hypothermia from the cold breeze coming off her. He tried again. “Any plans for the day?”
“Lots.” She switched from fried to scrambled eggs, turning herself slightly so her back was toward him.
Apparently, he had done more damage the previous night than he realized. “I’m sorry. For last night. I shouldn’t have reacted that way. It’s just that I came to Mark and Susan when I was five. So it just brought up some… memories.”
At least, that’s what he ought to have said. But even thinking about it made him wince. Nope. He couldn’t reveal that much. So instead, he settled on something else. An olive branch. Something they could discuss and make solid plans about.
“So you want to have children?” he offered.
Kira turned off the stovetop and dumped her eggs onto a plate. “Not with you.”
“There are donors. Or adoption,” he said awkwardly, his stomach twisting. She still wasn’t looking at him. Her body language practically screamed at him to leave her the fuck alone.
Finally, she lifted her head. She met his eye. “Not with you.”
Oh. Joshua turned quickly to the cupboard and grabbed his favorite mug. His wolf whined, and he tried to ignore it. He wished he could go back to last night, to when she was smiling and asking questions of his parents. When she was being open and warm and… well, he was never going to be on the receiving end of that smile.
It was his fault she was like this toward him. It wasn’t going to be so easy to undo his mistakes in the past. He had to earn her trust.
But how in the Goddess’s name was that even possible?
His cup of coffee finished brewing. He threw out the used pod, then dumped the coffee into a thermos. The oppressive atmosphere was too much for him to think in. He could try toexplain, but how could he do that without ending up making it even worse in his emotional state?
He stuffed a protein bar into his pocket and screwed the top onto the thermos. Kira kept shooting him questioning looks, her jaw tight, but remained silent. She served her eggs onto a plate and set it at the table, accompanied by an orange on the side.
“I’m going to be out all day. We have a lot of business to attend to today. Don’t wait up for me,” he said.
“I wasn’t planning on waiting up for you,” Kira shot back. She seemed almost pleased with her steady comeback.
“What is—” Joshua started, but cut himself off in time. If he wanted to work his way into her trust, yelling at her wasn’t going to help his cause. So instead, he turned on his heel and marched out of the kitchen. Kira scoffed at his back.
His mood didn’t improve as he headed for the town hall. He, Michael, and Rafael were meant to have a meeting about the special ops, but it wasn’t starting for another hour yet. He scarfed down his protein bar and mourned the creamer he’d planned on having today as a special treat for himself. Oh, well. There was milk at his office, and he’d just added it to his coffee. He didn’t particularly like it black.
