“I’m not annoying anymore.”
“You’relessannoying.”
“Muchless annoying.”
“Well, you started from beingvery, veryannoying. There was room for you to improve a lot and still be a total pain in the ass.”
“Am I a total pain in the ass?” Finnvid asked it casually, but braced himself for the answer.
Theos squinted at him. “Are you going to make me keep drinking broth?”
“You seem much stronger now. Probably you could eat solid food, as long as you take it easy.”
“And are you going to keep touching me? Letting me touch you?”
And there was something about the way Theos said it, something about the lightness in his tone that Finnvid recognized. They were both teasing, but braced to hear answers they wouldn’t like.
Luckily, Finnvid could give Theos an answer hewouldlike. “I want to keep touching you. And I want you to keep touching me.” But he should try to be honest. “Just . . . maybe not—nottoomuch.”
“Too much touching? How much is too much?”
“Not . . . you know.”
“I don’t think I do.”
He was going to make Finnvid say it. Maybe Theos really didn’t understand, or maybe he was just taking a little revenge. Finnvid stared at his foot, still right next to Theos’s. “Not . . . what you do with other people. What I’ve seen you do.”
“Eating together? Talking? Oh,drinking! You don’t want any alcohol. That’s fine. We haven’t got any here, anyhow.”
“Theos.”
“Finnvid.”
“You still say it wrong. It’s Finnvid, not Feenveed.”
“Maybeyou’vebeen saying it wrong.”
“I’ve been saying my own name wrong?”
“Seems like.”
Finnvid sighed. He could let the conversation drift, if he wanted to; he knew Theos understood what he was getting at. Still, it seemed like something he should be able to talk about. It seemed childish and ridiculous to shy away from the words. “I don’t want you to—to fuck me,” he said finally. The words came out too quickly, but at least he’d said them.
“Doyouwant to fuckme?”
Finnvid stopped looking at his foot. He stared at Theos and felt his jaw drop open. “I hadn’t even thought of that as an option. I don’t . . . Do you do that?” In their months together, Finnvid had lost count of how many men he’d seen Theos with, but never likethat.
“Not usually. Ihave,though. I’m not saying Iwill; I’m just curious about whether you want to. Is it the whole thing you don’t like, or just that role?”
“I don’t know.” Finnvid tried to think about it. His mind was racing too fast, too randomly, to produce any useful ideas. Apparently he’d been wrong, thinking he was ready for this conversation. “I should go check the snares.”
He turned and started crawling toward the exit, but before he got far he felt a strong hand wrap around his ankle. They froze like that for a moment, Finnvid not trying to get free, Theos not trying to drag him back, and finally Finnvid looked over his shoulder.
“It’s okay,” Theos said with an easy smile. “Sex is supposed to be fun. If you don’t want to do something, don’t do it. It’s that simple.”
“Butyouwant to do it. And you can’t because I won’t.”
“Well . . . yes. But you’re not— Finnvid, you’re not actually my bedwarmer. You’re not my slave. You stayed here to help me get better, not to get fucked. I know that.”
