Theos’s brain had stuttered back into motion. “Because you think we’re going to die tomorrow, and you don’t want to die a virgin. But that’s stupid. Because we might not die. We might, but . . . maybe not. And even if we do . . . fucking isn’t all that important, you know.”
“It is. You fuck people all the time. You like it. And they like it. I’ve seen all this, Theos, so it’s stupid to pretend it didn’t happen.”
“I like lots of things. Everyone likes lots of things. Fucking is . . . It’s good, sure. But it’s not like we’re making babies. It’s notmorethan everything else we’ve done.”
“But we’ve done everything else. We haven’t done this.”
“There’s lots of things we haven’t done.”
Finnvid squinted at him. “Like what? And why haven’t we done them?”
“Well . . . mostly because I don’t like them much. And since you don’t even know what they are, it seems easiest to pretend they don’t exist.”
Finnvid snorted. “But I know fucking exists, and I know you like it, and I want to do it. I want to feel you inside me.”
“Because you think we’re going to die tomorrow.”
“No. Because we’re still alive now, and I want to keepbeingalive, and trying new things, for as long as I can.”
Finnvid’s eyes were open wide and even in the dim light of the baths they were impossibly blue. He looked pure and young and strong and honest, and Theos felt a surge of something impossible and inevitable in his chest. “I can’t fuck you, not tonight. We don’t have time to do it properly, and I’m not going to do it wrong. Not with you.”
“Theos, I’ve seen you fuck people. It doesnottake that long!”
“Are you suggesting I lack stamina?”
“Your partners don’t seem to complain, and neither will I.”
“No. Not your first time. I want to fuck you, but I want to take my time, and make sure you’re ready. I want you to be begging for me before I give you what you want.”
“Well, I seriously doubt I’m ever going to beg you.”
Theos wanted to wipe that smug expression right off Finnvid’s face. Well, he wanted to fuck it off, really. But he just shook his head. “You’re pretty close to begging already and we haven’t even gotten started.”
Finnvid stared at him for a moment, then pushed away in disgust, bobbing toward the other side of the tub. “You’re honestly not going to fuck me?”
Theos reached out and wrapped a hand around Finnvid’s ankle. “Not tonight. Maybe tomorrow night; looking forward to it will give me a reason to keep fighting.”
“You’re supposed to be insatiable,” Finnvid grumbled. “What do you want to do instead? Cuddle?”
“We can still fuck,” Theos said slowly. It had been a while, but getting fucked would certainly be easier for him than for an absolute virgin. And their cocks were both proportionate to their body sizes, so regardless of experience it would be easier for Theos to take Finnvid than the reverse.
“You mean . . .” Finnvid looked Theos up and down as if assessing his body’s capabilities. “I’ve never seen you do that.”
Theos tugged Finnvid the rest of the way back so they were face-to-face again, then kissed him and pulled him in tight. Then he said, “Just for you.” He saw the flare in Finnvid’s eyes and knew he’d found the magic words. And they worked just as well for Theos. “Just us,” he murmured, and this time it was Finnvid who started the kiss.
Eventually they shifted around, Finnvid sitting on the bench, Theos stretching for the pot of oil and then hovering over Finnvid. He usually liked the power imbalance in fucking. He liked making it competitive, and when he’d been younger he’d loved fighting his partner for dominance, straining and wrestling to see who’d fuck the other. As he’d gotten older and stronger, his partners had stopped fighting, just accepting that he’d play the role he wanted. Was he taking a step back now?
He watched Finnvid’s face, saw the strain and amazement in his eyes as Theos lowered himself. No, this wasn’t a step back. It wasn’t about dominance; it was something else entirely. Theos tried to relax and accept the intrusion. The burning stretch, the protests of a body not used to this treatment; he didn’t really care what signals his body sent to him. His mind was in control, and his mind wanted this to happen. So it did. He sank down all the way, and let himself enjoy Finnvid’s expression.
Theos was used to giving Finnvid pleasure, but he was usually taking it himself at the same time. Now, with so little preparation and care? And with Finnvid’s breath already coming unevenly as Theos moved above him? Theos would have no physical pleasure from this, and somehow that made it sweeter. This was for Finnvid. This wasn’t about dominanceorpleasure; Theos could take both if he wanted, and he knew it, so it was somehow more important that he was giving instead.
Finnvid was gasping, his hands gripping Theos’s ass as if he were the one lifting Theos’s body. Theos thought about slowing his movements down, dragging things out, but he honestly wasn’t sure he could; Finnvid was already too close to the edge. So Theos moved a little faster, tightened his ass, and as Finnvid began to shudder and groan, Theos savored every movement and every sound.
When they finally relaxed and uncoupled, Finnvid frowned. “You didn’t . . . did you?”
“Now you can say ‘fuck,’ so you’re going to lose the ability to sayotherwords?”
“I don’t need to say the words when you know what I mean. And you didn’t.”
