“No. The temple’s just for early on. Later, they have tables set up at the festival grounds, and there are kids wandering around taking names; you give your names to the kid and they run over to the tables and get you checked out. It’s more trouble for the temple, I guess, but less for us.”
“And the people running the tables? They don’t get to take part in the . . . festivities?”
“Older women, or those who don’t want another child yet. Sometimes women who are already pregnant.”
Finnvid nodded slowly. “It’s all worked out.”
Theos shrugged. “It’s not perfect. There are fights every year—two men after the same woman, usually. If she’s got any sense, she’ll leave them to it and chose a third to go off with, but some women seem to like the fighting. Like animals, I guess, the males competing for the females’ attention.”
“But not you.” Finnvid raised an eyebrow mockingly. “You’re above all that. You wouldn’t fight for a woman; you just wait for them to come to you.”
Theos raised his own eyebrow in return. “I’m not interested in fighting for partners, or in being with someone who doesn’t want to be with me. You of all people should remember that.”
They didn’t talk much for a while, but their silence was friendly. They wandered through the market and looked at the wares on display, and when Finnvid admired a warm winter coat, Theos bought it for him. It wasn’t fancy, but it wasn’t inexpensive, either, and Theos began to wonder just how much coin he’d have left by the time spring arrived and he was able to go out and earn more. He’d better start looking for contests and bets around the barracks: ways to earn a little extra. And while he’d been generous for a while, it was probably time to start charging for Finnvid’s medical advice.
There was no formal lunch during festivals, just lots of snacking at various stalls all through the day, with a lull starting in midafternoon. “We should go get cleaned up,” Theos said as he saw the crowd begin to disperse.
Finnvid was still agreeable and relaxed as they bathed, then returned to Theos’s room. “Slave women are allowed to partner, at the festivals, but not the men,” Theos said, feeling slightly apologetic as he pulled on his best tunic. “But it’s a good meal, and there’s music and dancing afterward.”
Finnvid hesitated for the first time that day. “Actually, I was thinking . . . hoping— It’s not that I disapprove! I understand that you do things differently. Not worse, not better, just different. But I’m really not comfortable with it. Not yet. I was hoping maybe I could stay here.”
Theos frowned. He was supposed to keep an eye on the boy. “No, you should come with me. It’s not like the bathhouse, you know. The partners go off to private places. There’s a bit of kissing, maybe, on the festival grounds, but that’s all. There are lots of children present.” He grinned. “You could probably make friends with them.”
Finnvid was quiet for a moment, then looked away quickly. “It’s not the generalities,” he said. His voice was tight and all the easiness was gone from his face. “It’s . . . I don’t want to seeyougoing off with some woman. I mean, with the men . . . I can stand it. Barely, but . . . I know you don’t feel that way, but for me it’s not real, with them. With a woman it would be . . . for me . . . and . . . I don’t want to see that.”
Theos stared at him. “What are you talking about?”
Finnvid kept his gaze locked on the floor somewhere behind Theos’s feet. “You know,” he mumbled.
“No. I don’t know. Are you saying . . . are you saying you’d bejealous?”
Finnvid snorted, then darted a glance at Theos. “Maybe,” he said finally. “I don’t know. I’m trying to understand it. I know . . . I know I’ve never felt like this before. Not about a man, certainly, but . . . not about anyone, I don’t think. And it’s strange, and new, and I don’t know what to think, and I just need some time! I need a few damn hours where I can’t hear you and smell you and when I don’t feel tempted to reach over and touch you. Just a few hours of peace to get things straightened out.”
“I don’t know if Iwantyou to get it straightened out. Not if having it crooked means you want me.” Theos took a cautious step forward. Finnvid’s body tensed, but he didn’t move away. “Look at me,” Theos said quietly.
Slowly, reluctantly, Finnvid raised his eyes. There were too many emotions on his face for Theos to decipher them all, but his confusion and desperation were obvious. Theos raised his hand and brushed the backs of his fingers against Finnvid’s freshly shaved cheek.
Finnvid breathed out, a tense, shuddering sound, and then gasped as Theos ran his thumb over the boy’s lips. Could this be real? If Theos continued to be patient, could he make this work?
“A few hours,” he said gently, and he stretched his fingers to cradle Finnvid’s jawline, then leaned in. Slowly, careful not to scare the boy . . . but Theos needed something.
His stomach was tight, waiting for the disgust, the refusal. It didn’t come. His mouth found Finnvid’s, just a quick brush of skin against skin, and he felt the desire churn through his whole body. The boy washis, and Theos ached to grab him, tear off his clothes, and throw him on the bed. He knew exactly how it would feel, his own strength and Finnvid’s lithe grace, and heneededit, needed to break through the boy’s stupid ideas and show him how they could be together. By the sword, had he not been tested enough? Did he not deserve his prize?
For a moment they were frozen there, their lips a breath apart, Theos fighting with himself, Finnvid . . . maybe Finnvid fighting with himself too, but on a different battlefield. When Theos finally trusted himself to move, he began to pull away, only to find strong fingers wrapped around his neck, holding him still. Theos opened his eyes as Finnvid leaned back and whispered, “Thank you.” Then the boy brought their mouths together again.
This time, there was more. Finnvid’s lips were softer, and Theos let himself lick, just a taste. Finnvid drew in a shuddering breath, then sighed into Theos’s mouth as his whole body relaxed and he leaned toward the kiss.
It didn’t last long. Theos was still savoring the first wash of sensations when Finnvid pushed away, his hands flat on Theos’s chest, cheeks flaming, eyes wild and staring anywhere but at Theos.
“You okay?” Theos asked softly.
Finnvid’s smile was too quick, too wide. “Yes! I’m . . . sorry, I—” He took a deep breath, then said, “I definitely do need that time alone. I just need to catch up to some things, I think.”
“We don’t have to go fast,” Theos promised, and made himself add, “or at all. Not if—if you decide this isn’t what you want. We don’t have to do anything.”
The smile he got in return was still automatic. “I appreciate your patience. Your forbearance. We don’t have the same customs in Elkat . . . We don’t give our prisoners jobs, we just keep them in cells.”
“Easier to treat them that way when you rarelytakeprisoners,” Theos observed.
