Jan knew, though.
I’d told her.
And a little patience from a sister I’d been nothing but patient with my whole life would have been nice. “Okay. I’ll unburden myself. I’ve stood by your side through every drama you’ve either incited or participated in with patience and love. I’m sorry that for the first time in my life, I’m putting myself before you and what you need from me, but you can go screw yourself, my dearest wee sister.” I yanked off my headphonesand threw them at the table as January gaped up at me in pale-faced shock.
“Lily!” Maddie called for me, but I ignored her too, slamming out of the recording room and marching past a wide-eyed Kenny.
For at least five minutes, I felt liberated by my outburst.
Then the guilt hit.
Because I knew I was pushing everyone away, cocooning myself in my fortress of solitude.
However, I couldn’t seem to stop.
CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
SEBASTIAN
When I came out of my shower, I found Harry lounging on my bed reading one of the books Lily had lent me.
“Mate, do you know this is filthy?” Harry muttered as he turned the page, seemingly engrossed.
“It’s a romance book.” I scrubbed the towel through my hair as I crossed the room to slump in my armchair.
“One of Lil’s?” he asked tentatively, still not looking up from the page.
“Yeah.”
“It’s pretty funny. Can I borrow it?”
I smirked sadly, thinking Lily would get a kick out of turning our flat of blokes into a romance book club. “Knock yourself out.”
Satisfied, Harry closed the book. “Glad you’re back.”
“Thanks. Sorry if I … I didn’t mean to make anyone worry.”
He nodded, studying me. “You’ve lost a bit of weight.”
I sighed. “Haven’t been eating much. Or going to the gym.” Thinking about it, I missed the exercise. “I think I’ll go tomorrow.”
“I’ll come with.”
“Sounds good.”
“We’re going out tonight.” Harry swung his legs off the bed. “You’re coming with us.”
The thought exhausted me. “I’m not in the mood.”
“I invited Maddie, Sierra, and Lily. They said they’ll be there.”
My heart turned in my chest. “Lily will be there?”
Harry nodded grimly. “Yeah, she’ll be there. Maybe … maybe you can talk to her. Sort out this shit between you.”
“You’re sure she knows I’ll be there?” At his silence, I groaned. “Harry, I can’t ambush her. Sorry, I’m not going.”
“Okay, I didn’t want to have to do this, but I overheard Zac listening to Lily’s podcast and I think you need to hear this morning’s episode.”
