CHAPTER TWELVE
BETH
Nine years ago
I’d had crushes on boys before, but nothing compared to this.
I mean, I was standing on the sidelines of a football pitch, watching a bloody football game, for goodness’ sake. Me. Beth Carmichael.
And it was doomed from the start.
“He’s so gorgeous. It’s so unfair neither of us can do anything about it.” My best friend, Amanda, pouted.
Hewas Callan Keen. And unfortunately, her crush was my crush. When we’d realized we liked the same boy, we’d made a pact that neither of us would date him. But we seemed unable to stay away, even if it was under the pretense of only wanting to be friends with him.
“It’s bloody Baltic, though. Don’t know how long I can stay.”
It was November, but I couldn’t feel the cold. “You go.”
“Are you staying?” She eyed me warily.
“Yeah, I’m fine to watch a little longer.” I kept my tone nonchalant. “My bus doesn’t arrive for another wee bit yet.”
“Hmm.” She narrowed her eyes. “Remember our pact.”
How could I forget? The same day I met Callan, Amanda met him in her next class. She’d come rushing out of school desperate to talk to me about him, but I’d gotten there first. When she realized we were crushing on the same boy, she’d announced neither of us could have him.
“I remember. Don’t worry.” I waved goodbye to her, reminding myself that Amanda and I had been best friends since we were kids. I loved her to pieces. And she’d made the pact because she loved me and she wanted nothing to come between us. We’d made this kind of pact before when we were both crushing on a boy. It had always seemed like the fair and right thing to do.
However, Callan Keen was different.
Turning back to the pitch, I watched Callan shout to his teammate and suddenly, the ball soared toward him. Then he moved at a speed that was hard to compute. He could transport the ball down the pitch without giving up control so quickly, it was extraordinary. I’d never liked the sport, but watching Callan was eye-opening. I still wasn’t quite sure of the rules, but I didn’t care. I was looking only at Callan.
Butterflies roared to life in my belly any time I thought too hard about the boy I sat next to in history and math class. As soon as we realized we had math together, I bribed Jake Barker with a Snickers bar so I could sit next to Callan. Callan chuckled, apparently not at all put off with my obviousness. I’d tried to rein it in because I knew I couldn’t do anything about it, but I wanted to be near him. I couldn’t explain it.
And I was sure Callan liked me back.
I wasn’t sure why he hadn’t asked me out yet. Not that I could say yes.
As it was, I already felt guilty for flirting with the guy behind Amanda’s back. We’d been flirting for two months. And he’d become my bloody obsession. I’d never crushed this hardon anyone. For the first time, I could imagine doing more than kissing a boy. Amanda had lost her virginity during the summer, and all our friends talked about how they couldn’t wait, while I thought I was a weirdo because I still didn’t feel ready for sex. But thinking about it didn’t seem scary when I imagined it with Callan. It was beyond exciting.
I caught him looking at my mouth enough times to think he felt the same way.
And even though I couldn’t have him, he didn’t know that. So, why wasn’t he making a move? If he made a move … well, maybe I could explain to Amanda that what I felt for Callan was more than an average crush.
The coach called the game after a while and I waited, feeling like a bit of an idiot for waiting around as the gathered crowd began to disperse.
However, as the team made their way toward the sports building, Callan turned and jogged toward me.
He was tall and athletic and had the most beautiful eyes I’d ever seen. But that wasn’t the only reason I liked him. I liked his quiet sense of humor and his mischievousness. He liked to murmur innuendo under his breath in history, trying to make me laugh in front of the teacher. I also liked the way he seemed to really listen to me as I prattled on about whatever was on my mind.
And I liked how secretly smart he was.
He’d helped me out a few times in maths class.
He might not be academically driven like I was, but I really admired how driven he was about football. While we hadn’t had a chance to have really deep and meaningful conversations, I knew that he’d come to Drimwhinnie in the hopes of being scouted by the Pro League U18 teams.
I didn’t know that many sixteen-almost-seventeen-year-olds who were that ambitious and hardworking.
