“Ah, good stuff.” The driver grinned at me. “He can give you a lift, then.”
Butterflies erupted in my belly at the thought. But Jared, expressionless, just nodded. “Of course. You got luggage?”
In answer, the driver opened the trunk and pulled out my carry-on. Jared took it. “Thanks, mate.” Then he looked at me and jerked his head toward the passenger side. “Get in.”
I bristled a little at the order. And the handling of the situation by these two men. No one asked me if I wanted Jared McCulloch to give me a ride home!
Facial muscles straining against a frown, I gave the driver a tight-lipped smile before I grabbed my other bag out of the back seat. With a muttered thanks, I traipsed over to the Defender and reluctantly hauled myself up into it.
My skin prickled with awareness as Jared got in. The Defender smelled of his cologne. He was a farmer. Wasn’t he supposed to smell like a farm? It was so unfair. I felt all of thirteen again, on my first date with Colton Gold. We went to the movies and I barely breathed the entire time in case he thought I breathed too loudly. Every single tiny movement he made I was aware of, and I still, to this day, cannot remember what movie we saw.
That’s how it was with Jared.
How it always was and had been for the last five years.
It was worse being stuck in a car with him.
He didn’t say anything until he’d pulled the vehicle back onto the road. “You all right?” he asked for some reason.
“Fine. You?” He stared straight ahead, and I studied him as I tried to ignore the flutter of attraction I felt simply looking at him.
Usually, there was some warmth to Jared, even if he’d never flirted with me again once he discovered who I was. I wasn’t sure if that was because his cousin Sarah was married to Theo Cavendish who was best friends with North, my sister’s husband, or if it was because I was Wesley and Chiara Howard’s daughter.
Anyway, there had been zero acknowledgment of the heady attraction between us that first meeting, and ever since, Jared had acted like I was a sexless relative. We’d been forced into socializing over the years because of the familial connection. Last year, we’d even shared Christmas dinner.
But he at least treated me with a distant friendliness. And he was warm and funny in a gruff sort of way with everyone else around him.
Today, there was a brittle aloofness in his manner. “Fine.”
“Are you sure?” He didn’t seem fine. “I’m sorry if I’m putting you out.”
“You’re not putting me out,” he replied tonelessly. “I was on my way back from Inverness, anyway.”
My gaze flickered to his hand resting on the curve of the drive stick. He had strong hands, long-fingered but big-knuckled. The nails were blunt and surprisingly clean. The flash of an image, those knuckles caressing my bare stomach, heated my cheeks and I blinked the thought away.
The truth was that I was used to sexual attention. Since I was fourteen years old, I’d been chased by people, young and old. Sexualized before I was ready for it. I could blame genetics for that. Mamma made her money from being beautiful, andeveryone said I looked a lot like her. I grew up in a world obsessed with that kind of beauty, around people’s selfish desire to have it for themselves. So I’d always sought out sexual partners who saw beauty in things that other people didn’t. Guys who didn’t make me feel like they just wanted to fuck me for bragging rights.
Jared was the first man I’d ever met who I just wanted to jump because I was attracted to him on a level I couldn’t explain. I didn’t know him or what his thoughts were on the world. I just wanted him.
And for a few exhilarating moments, he’d wanted me too.
The fact that he didn’t anymore because of who I was hurt in a different way to all those who had wanted me because I was Chiara Howard’s daughter.
We drove in silence, but it wasn’t an easy, comfortable silence. I was too aware of him and wondering constantly if he was really that immune to me or hiding his awareness.
While Jared wasn’t a big talker, this monosyllabic version of him didn’t seem right either.
Worry pricked me. “Are you sure everything’s all right? You seem …”
He flicked me a quick look. “I seem …?”
“Preoccupied,” I decided.
Jared replied with a grunt.
Just a grunt. Nothing else.
I didn’t know why that hurt. We barely knew each other, really. In five years, he hadn’t made an effort to get to know me. We were simply cordial whenever we were thrown together.
