“I believe you,” she said, because she did. It didn’t matter anymore, anyway. That night had ceased to hurt her a long time ago, she realized. The lingering burn of the whispers no longer scorched her memories or held any power over her.
“Then why are you running?”
“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I thought I could, but I just...can’t.” She couldn’t look at him anymore. She could bear her own heartbreak a million times over, but to see Theo’s was unbearable. This feeling, the hard knot in her throat and the ache in her chest, was why she never let herself fall in love.
Theo had broken through all the barriers she had carefully constructed over the years with his lovely caretaking and his insatiable need to show her how much more she was than she ever gave herself credit for.
But she didn’t want to see it. He never understood that. How could she not see it with such strong women in her life? She knew it and she still couldn’t make herself choose to love.
Theo’s hands clenched. The first spark of anger she had seen in him. Aside from his hands on Neal. That sight was etched in her mind forever.
"You can’t do this? Bullshit," he said sharply. "You're scared. You’re so damn afraid you won’t let yourself love anybody else. But I’m not anybody. I’m telling you that I love you, and I will never hurt you. I love you, Amber,” he repeated, and she flinched at the calm steadiness of his voice.
Of course, it was easy for him.
He wasn’t utterly terrified of losing himself in someone else.
"So what if I am?" she said fiercely. The prick of anger was familiar and welcome. She leaned into it. She could control that emotion. “You’ve always pushed me, but I can’t go any further, Theo. I don’t want to.”
"Don't do that," he said softly.
"It was never going to last,” she continued as if he hadn’t spoken. “We’re too different. And what if Pippa publishes that photo? The news will have a field day with that. I can see it now, ‘Local bartender involved in a love triangle with mayor and staff.’ That would ruin your chance for reelection.” She looked at him, pleading. “This would never have worked in the long run. You know it’s true.”
Bitterness nearly closed off her throat, but she forced the words out. “It’s better for both of us to end it now, before it gets any harder.” She tried hard to keep her voice unemotional, but the tremble betrayed her.
Theo shook his head, his eyes so steady on hers she had to look away. He always saw through her. No one else had ever tried to, really. They had been satisfied with the version of her she let them see, but not Theo.
“That’s bullshit. You know I don’t care about any of that. I love you. I’ve never wanted this job if it meant losing you,” he said roughly, spearing her heart effectively in half.
“Well, maybe you should,” she cried. “You’re meant to lead, Theo. Northfield or somewhere bigger down the road. Don’t throw it all away for...this. It never lasts with me.” She waved her hand between them. “I told you not to fall in love with me. I told you.” To her horror, tears dripped from her eyes.
"Coward," he said, softly. Knowingly. It was almost her undoing. She turned her head, but he cupped her chin and turned her to see her eyes. He leaned in and pressed a tender kiss to her lips. “I told you to trust me.” Light as a breeze, he kissed her, first one corner, then the other, sendingshivery hot sparks of desire through her. She closed her eyes and let the desire wash over her. This she knew.
She turned her body toward him and opened her mouth, capturing his fiercely. Suddenly, she was starving for the taste of him. She bit his lower lip and sucked it, tasting the wine he had earlier. It made her wild. She moved closer, trying to feel instead of think.
She pushed the beautiful tuxedo off his shoulders and got to her knees on the couch, but her dress was too tight to straddle him. She made a frustrated sound only to trail off on a moan when Theo pushed it up over her hips, lifting her over and onto his lap, flush against his swollen erection. Her fingers went to his belt frantically. It was clumsy hands and sharp elbows and hot desire. Fast. Fast. Fast before she had to feel the hurt again.
And then he was inside her.
It hurt with no foreplay, but she welcomed the stretch and burn of her body. Anything was better than the pain in her heart.
It was fast and fierce, almost painful in its intensity. She clung to his shoulders and tried to control it, but he wouldn’t let her. His hands gripped her hips, and he bucked up into her deeper, holding her still for his thrusts, as if he knew he couldn’t hold on to her any other way.
“Oh, Christ,” he rasped against her throat, delicately biting the sensitive curve where her shoulder met her neck, making pleasure spike along her entire body until she nearly screamed.
“Yes,” she gasped. “Please….please….I need…” She caught her breath on a sob and threw back her head, squeezing her eyes closed at the shocking intensity.
She tried to hold out. She bowed her body and hid her face in his neck and let out a sob, but he wouldn’t let her hide that from him, either. His hand cradled her head in one hand, forcing her to look at him, while the other forced her up anddown, hard, on him until it became too much, and she closed her eyes to escape with a scream of pure pleasure.
The intensity caught her off guard and her vision blurred around the edges until she collapsed on him, holding on to his neck. He bucked up into her once more before holding her tightly to him while he came.
Their ragged breathing echoed in the otherwise silent apartment. She rested her forehead against the strong column of his throat, watching the muscles working there, feeling his chest rise and fall with the emotion he was so obviously trying to control. She wanted to stay like this forever, held and cherished, in their own cocoon.
The fabric of his zipper pinched her inner thigh, and she reluctantly lifted her head. His eyes were dark velvet again. Looking at her with so much emotion, she ached.
"Truth or dare,” he asked.
"What?” She looked at him blankly. “This isn't . . . I don't . . . I don't want to play that," she stammered.
