Before I can talk myself out of it, I bridge the gap between us, hoping with everything I have that he’ll accept this kiss. Thathe’ll return it. That maybe for just this moment, he could be mine again.
He does.
He immediately opens for me, deepening our connection with every swipe of his tongue. With one hand still wrapped around my neck, he uses the other to grab my ass and lift me, slamming me back against the wall so hard the paintings rattle. My legs instinctively wrap around his waist, and with my blanket long gone by now, I’m completely bare in his arms. He’s only wearing pants, and everywhere his skin touches mine feels like needles sending electricity shooting through every part of me.
“Please.” It’s barely audible, but he must hear it.
Removing his hand from my throat, he makes quick work of undoing his pants. The sound of his belt unfastening and his zipper sliding down bring a rush of arousal to my core. I know what’s coming next, and I’ve been dreaming of his thick cock for weeks. He guides himself to my opening before returning his hand to my neck, holding my jaw in place so that I can’t look anywhere but at him.As if I would ever want to look anywhere but his devastating face.
He gives me no warning, forcing himself all the way inside me with one long thrust. The stretch that comes along with Sasha’s dick is intoxicating. No matter how many times I’ve had him, I always have to adjust. But I welcome the mix of pain that comes along every time he sinks into me. The way he rips me apart just to mold me to fit him. And I’ve felt so empty without it.
MySasha would usually give me a moment to get used to him, butthisSasha does not. He immediately begins rutting me into the wall, fucking me harder than I’ve ever had him before. I can’t help but claw at his back, his shoulders. His neck, his arms, anywhere I can reach. It’s my only tether to this world as he fucks me into what feels like heaven. Or maybe hell.
He hasn’t broken eye contact the whole time, and I’ve watched the heat in his eyes rise. I’ve watched them darken into that man I hardly recognize anymore. With a growl, he pulls out of me and flips me around, pushing my face into the wall and pulling my ass back against him. He quickly replaces his dick, burying it deep inside me yet again before fucking me like the possessed man he is.
Fuck, it hurts. This angle allows him to hit deeper, reaching my cervix with every thrust, and without his gaze, it’s almost too much. I try reaching back to grab him, and I’m not sure why. Maybe for a shred of connection as he ruins me? It doesn’t matter either way. He immediately neutralizes my arms, pulling them behind my back and holding them there.
I feel the heat of his body as he leans in over me, giving me a momentary reprieve from his assault. “You don’t get to touch me, is that clear? I’m not your boyfriend. I’m not your lover. I’m your worst fucking nightmare. And I’m going to ruin you exactly how you ruined me. There’s nowhere on this planet you can go where I won’t find you and your tight little cunt. There will never be another day when your pussy or your ass doesn’t ache from where I’ve ripped you open. It may take weeks to heal, but I’ll always find you. And I’ll fucking destroy you every single time. Do I make myself clear, Sunshine?”
I can't move, let alone nod, but he wasn’t looking for an answer. He continues doing just what he threatened, tearing me apart from the inside out. There isn’t a bit of pleasure in the way he’s fucking me, but my traitorous body doesn’t care. I grow wetter around him, relishing the way he abuses my battered channel.
Finally, when I think I’m literally about to die, he stills deep inside me, his body flush against mine. His cock pulses against my walls as jets of cum paint them. But instead of being relieved that he’s finished, I’m hit with an overwhelming sadness. I don’twant him to be done. He talked about doing it again, but what if that was all words? What if this is the last time I’ll have him dripping down my thighs the next morning? What if this is the last time I’ll struggle to walk because of how sore I am? I’ll gladly take the pain of him breaking me as long as I get to have him.
Before I can voice my concern or even turn around, he’s gone without so much as a goodbye. He makes his way to his car and drives away, and suddenly, the weight of everything hits me at once.I have to get out of here.
Chapter thirty-one
The moment I pull out of the driveway, leaving Lucy behind in our cottage, I know I’ll never be able to let her go. I can’t live without her. Without holding her in my arms, feeling her body against mine…The way she melts into me, taking everything I give her.
I don’t even realize where I’m going when I pull up to Ledger’s house. If anyone can figure out the truth behind everything, it’s him. He’s been hacking into systems since adolescence, and at this point, there isn’t much hecan’tget into. It’s how he started his relationship with Sloane. And if it worked for them, maybe he can give me the all clear that Lucy isn’t actually some paid actress placed in my life to fuck me over.
It’s dangerous for me to allow even a small part of myself to hope, but I don’t have another choice. I need her so intrinsically that she’s more essential to me than oxygen at this point. I have to know if there is at least achanceI can trust this woman. If my suspicions are correct and she’s up to no good, I’ll figure it out. But if by some miracle she’s telling the truth, I’ll never let her go again.
“Hey, man! What’s going on?”
I’ve barely gotten out of the car when I’m met with Ledger, holding his baby daughter, Gisele. He bridges the gap between us, meeting me with a one-armed bear hug and pulling me to him. “It’s great to see you! Is everything okay?”
“Actually, I need your help with something,” I say as he leads me into his house.
“It’s your girl, isn’t it?”
“How the hell did you know I was having girl problems?”
Before Ledger can respond, I’m greeted by Sloane and their eldest child, LJ. He runs and jumps into my arms, squealing as I spin him around. “Sassa!”
“Hi, buddy!” I ruffle his blond hair before Sloane steps up behind him and pulls him from my arms.
She sets him on the ground and takes Gisele from Ledger. “Come on, kiddo, let's give these two some privacy. I have a feeling Sasha needs Daddy to help him with his special friend.”
Jesus, what energy am I giving off right now? I can’t lookthatpathetic.
Ledger leads us through the house to his office. I’ve been here countless times, but I’ve never considered how cute it is. His half is full of monitors and top-of-the-line equipment with sleek industrial vibes, but the other half couldn’t be any different. He had it fixed up for Sloane when she moved in so she had a space to hang out while he worked, and it embodies her femininity perfectly. It reminds me of the color Lucy brought into my life, but instead of shades of pink, my girl brought golden sunshine right into the heart of my monochromatic existence.
Ledger sits behind his computer and gestures for me to follow suit in one of the chairs across his desk. “Alright, spill. What’s going on with you and Lucy?”
“How did you...?”
“I know because I’ve been there. I could see the shadow in your eyes from the moment you stepped out of your car. I can tell how much you love her. And can I give you some advice? Don’t let something stupid keep you apart. Nothing is worth it.”
