"Who doesn't?"
Leaning away, he shrugged. "Not everyone is motivated by winning. Codric just wants to be loved." He glanced at his cousin with fondness in his eyes. "I guess every one of us is trying to get what we were missing as kids. Codric missed love, and I missed winning."
I frowned at him. "You are a super competitive guy, and I can't imagine you ever losing."
He laughed. "I have four older brothers. I always lost until I didn't."
Well, that explained a lot. It also made it clear how little I knew about Alar. I'd never asked him about his family, sensing that he was reluctant to talk about them.
His volunteering the information was precious.
I put a hand on Alar's arm like Vessa had done last night. "I've always imagined you as either an only child or the eldest."
"Why?"
"You have a commanding presence. Usually, firstborns are like that." I smiled. "Bossy know-it-alls."
"I'm neither of those things." He sounded offended.
I leaned closer to him. "They weren't meant as insults. I like that about you. I also like how serious and committed you are. You are not the type of guy who does anything half-heartedly. You are either all in or all out."
A cloud passed over his eyes. "Most girls prefer someone like Codric, who can make them laugh and sing them lurid ballads. He's fun. I'm not."
I arched an eyebrow. "Are you trying to sell me on your cousin? Because I'm not in the market for a new guy. I've already found the one I want."
Alar looked so stunned that it was almost comical. "Are you referring to me?"
"Who else?" I lifted my hand. "And don't say Commander Ravel because I might get physical."
It was the oddest thing for me to say such things in the middle of the mess hall with our friends sitting nearby, but I felt as if we were in our own private space that only the two of us were sharing, and no one else could hear our conversation.
I cast a quick glance at Shovia, but she seemed to be absorbed in describing the stunts Dylon had shown her on the way to the citadel.
"You always beat me to it," Alar murmured.
I frowned. "Beat you to what?"
"I wanted to show you how much I care about you, but you did it first and better than I ever could. You win."
I wanted to say that it wasn't a competition, but I had a feeling that for Alar, everything was defined in terms of winning or losing. Well, that wasn't entirely true. He'd kept me company this morning instead of rushing to the top to win first place, which reminded me of what seemed like a miraculous cure from altitude sickness.
"By the way, are you still taking that potion that Lysara gave you?"
He shook his head. "I don't need it anymore. My body has finally adapted to the altitude."
"I'm glad." I took his hand and squeezed it. "I was afraid it would be an impediment to your ambitions."
"Thank you for caring." He squeezed my hand back, holding on to it. "It means a lot to me. Now I can dedicate myself to helping you overcome your difficulty."
The warmth in his eyes radiated so much emotion that suddenly the noise of the mess hall seemed to fade away. The clattering of utensils, the din of conversations, even Shovia's loud laughter at something Codric had said, all receded until it felt like the two of us existed in a private, quiet bubble, and I had the sudden, overwhelming urge to lean forward, close the distance between us, and press my lips against his.
"No way!" Shovia's raucous laughter burst through our invisible bubble, shattering the moment and bringing the noise of the mess hall crashing back around us.
I blinked, disoriented by the sudden return to reality.
What had just transpired reminded me of the strange private bubble the shaman had created when he'd revealed my destiny during the ceremony at the Circle of Fate. That unnatural silencehad felt similar to what I'd just experienced with Alar, making me wonder if I was manifesting yet another shamanic ability.
No, that couldn't be. I'd imagined the bubble of silence then, and I'd imagined it now. Or had I?
