James’s face flashes in my mind.
Not the monster he became.The charming savior he was at the beginning.
This is how it begins, a frantic fire alarm whispers in my soul.
The support.
The rescue.
The overwhelming gratitude I mistake for love.
No.
My hands rip from his as if his touch is a brand.Averting my gaze, I shrink back into the cushions, needing space between my weakness and his overwhelming grace.
How can I possibly explain that his goodness feels like the most dangerous thing in the world right now?
I shake my head, looking at him, a desperate plea in my eyes.“I-I can’t, Matt.”
He watches, his brow furrowed in concentration as he deciphers my panic.“You’re afraid.”A slow breath leaves him, his eyes softening with sorrow for me.For the scars that man left.“You think this is just another trap.An investment I expect a return on.”He pauses, his words piercing right through my panic.“Will you please look at me, Amy?”His request is a hoarse whisper.
He doesn’t move closer.He doesn’t touch me.He respects the space I’ve taken.
My eyes sting with tears of self-reproach as I finally muster the strength to meet his gaze.“I can’t tell the difference anymore,” I confess, the words a broken, barely coherent, admission of my deepest fear.
Matthew absorbs the full weight of my confession.“If you let me, I’ll show you the difference,” he says, his offer resolute.
I look up at him, my eyes still swimming with unshed tears, unable to form a response.
“Come over for dinner tonight after you close,” he continues.“I’d love to make you my go-to comfort food.”
A tear escapes, and I quickly wipe it away.“You cook?”The question slips out, a whisper of surprise.
“There’s this one pasta dish I’ve perfected.”A small, uncertain smile touches his lips.“Not sure that makes me a cook, but I manage.”
The self-deprecation coaxes a watery laugh out of me.A shaky sound, but it’s the first real release of tension since I walked in here.
“Okay.”I nod, my throat still tight.
A beautiful smile spreads across Matthew’s face.Warm like a sunrise.“Good.”He takes one of my hands, bringing it to his lips, his gaze never leaving mine as he presses a soft, lingering kiss there.“It’s a date then.”
My heart flutters.My eyes follow him as he stands.He looks around the cluttered space, a muscle clenching in his jaw.
“But for tonight, at least,” he says, his gaze snapping back to mine, “I can’t sleep knowing you’re spending the night on this couch.”
I let out a long, shuddering sigh and drop my face into my hands.When I finally look up at him, it’s in a silent appeal against his unwavering kindness.
“Matt…” His name is a soft plea.
“Amy,” he counters immediately, with an unyielding tenderness.
The fight drains from my shoulders on a weary sigh.
He bends, cupping my chin to lift my face to his.“Pack your suitcase, love.”He speaks with gentle authority before pressing his lips to mine in a kiss that leaves me breathless.“I’ll see you tonight.”
And with that, he turns and walks out of my office, closing the door softly behind him.He leaves me with my lips still tingling from the seal of his kiss.
My world tilted on its axis once again.
