Ellie and every other plus-size person on the planet knew the truth. Genetics, appetite, medical conditions and mental health were all factors in body shape. No points plan, burpees or calorie deficit could eradicate obesity, because obesity was the symptom of far more complex issues.
The last time she’d worn a bikini was when she went on a girls’ holiday with Hannah to Tenerife to celebrate passing their nursing degree, and a lot of years had passed between then and now. A twinge of sadness hit her at that realisation. No wonder Hannah had run off to Australia; they’d not been on a decent holiday in years – all because she’d insisted on saving for the flat. Maybe she should have lived her life, instead of planning for a future that had never been guaranteed.
Still, did living your best life really have to involve wearing a bikini? Many people wore those hideous plastic Crocs; just because you could didn’t mean you should.
She thought of Jessica, who’d gone swimming with pigs in a gold lamé bikini and an open see-through kaftan. She’d not given two hoots about the bright young things around her – she’d rocked her older body without a care in the world.
Why shouldn’t Ellie? How many years had she spent improving her relationship with her body, only to fall apart at the first sight of a couple of supermodels?
She needed to practise what she preached.
Forget self-doubt.
Embrace her body and love the skin she was in.
She picked the scraps of material up off the bathroom dresser – because of course there was room for a dresser in this huge bathroom. She held the top against her and looked in the mirror. There would be nipple coverage, but not much else.
A quick glance at the bottoms confirmed there wasn’t much difference in the quantity of fabric. The ties on both bottoms and top were silly thin strings with silver beads at the ends. She’d picked the style because she could then adjust the tightness of the ties, and hopefully ensure it stayed in place.
‘Fuck it!’ she whispered, and ripped off the hygiene crotch sticker with one quick whip of her wrist. She stared in horror at the plastic strip, as if she’d just scalped a navy-blue puppy.
Too late now.
Horrified and elated, she quickly put the bikini on, then stepped back as far as she could to view as much of herself in the bathroom mirror as was possible.
What should have been such a small thing – wearing a bikini – felt like a pole vault to Ellie. She may as well have been competing in the Olympics, because putting aside all her fears and doubts was a huge leap of faith. A jump she could only make successfully if she trusted in herself and left the past behind.
She knotted and re-knotted the ties a hundred times, adjusting and then readjusting the straps until she was happy. There was a fine line between securely covering her privates and cutting off her circulation, but she’d managed it.
After a deep breath, she left the safety of the bathroom to face the consequences of her spiteful rebellion.
‘Ready to go…’ Alex’s question died with a strangled cough as she walked into the bedroom. She fought the urge to cover herself.
The look on his face sealed the bikini’s fate.
Alex’s mouth was slack and his gaze burned with lust. Ellie grinned, a blush of pleasure flaming her cheeks.
‘I’m ready.’
Alex quickly turned away from her, gathering up her beach bag and towels as if his life depended on it.
‘Great,’ he said, clutching the beach bag in front of his lower body in a suspicious way.
‘Damn, girl…’ Caitlyn said with an easy grin as they arrived at the pool. Ellie gave her a cheeky wink. The bikini was now the best purchase of her entire life.
‘I brought everyone an inflatable. I thought we could have races,’ said Savannah merrily, as she pointed out several massive inflatable lilos in a range of different shapes.
‘I want the unicorn!’ shouted Holly.
Everyone gathered around to pick out their inflatable, and Liam blew each one up with a whiny electric pump.
Ellie wasn’t sure how much her bikini would hold up in a race. ‘I think I’m going to read that book you recommended, Savannah. I downloaded it to my Kindle last night.’ She made her way over to the loungers and settled down. Alex came to join her.
‘You don’t want to race on the hot dog?’ she asked with mock surprise.
Alex sank leisurely onto the lounger beside hers, his body fully turned towards her. ‘I’d rather stay here with you. The view’s better.’ He lowered his glasses in a coy way, a seductive smile on his lips.
Heat engulfed her from the tips of her toes to the top of her head, igniting a responding lust within her as she stared atthe beautiful man in front of her in disbelief. Then again, they weren’t alone – perhaps it was all an act?
